Christopher Mitchum is Ricco, a pretty boy with a blonde fringe fresh out of prison who sets out to avenge the death of his father, who was murdered 2 years ago in by his competitor in the Italian mafia underworld, Don Vito. As if that wasn't enough, slick Don Vito even stole his girl-friend. Well you'd think Ricco has plenty of reasons to be really angry. I'm talking Charles Bronson angry. Instead Ricco has this "I have nothing better to do this afternoon, so I might as well take on the mob" attitude that makes you wonder if anyone on the set told Mitchum exactly why he's supposed to be taking revenge. Mitchum might not be able to emote for the life of him, but at least he has two modes: smirk and stare blank. He also kisses like a fish, rolls on the ground with his sister and her boyfriend because they're too happy to see him out of prison, feigns laughter when he nearly evades car accidents, blinks in close-up when he recognizes his mother and sister's dead bodies (that's emotion for you), heck he even karate chops people in a flashback to impress his father. His karate moves are a hoot and the movie is worth the price of admission for that scene alone. Don Vito is a slick Italian mafia boss type with a mustache. He owns a soap factory, says stuff like "don't you know by now I hate soap... and men that sweat" and turns his own men into it when they fail him. If you sleep with his sultry girl-friend you get castrated in graphic detail, fed your own penis then you're thrown in a tank full of acid (that's how he turns people into soap). You don't wanna go around messing with this guy. Now for the sleaze. It comes in the form of the drop dead gorgeous Euro babes Barbara Bouchet (regular in 70's gialli) and Malisa Longo. We get get close ups of Bouchet's ass and breasts while she walks, she has a striptease scene on the hood of a car, she's lucky enough to bed Ricco and is her all around cute self. Longo in the role of Don Vito's girlfriend spends most of the movie scantily clad and seduces Don Vito's underling in a very sexy scene. Refer to the previous paragraph for what happens when you have a sex scene with her. The first half of the movie is so delightfully cheesy that I kept wondering where's Joe Bob Briggs when you need him. The second one is more gritty and sadistic with a graphic castration scene and lots of gunplay. The sleaze has a steady presence throughout and so does the silly dialogue. The score reminded me of The Godfather. That about sums it up I think. Ricco is by no means a profound crime drama but it's entertaining and schlocky enough to warrant a viewing or two. Fans of 70's Italian crime b-movies will lap it up and ask for more.
Review of The Mean Machine
