Review of Sheena

Sheena (1984)
2/10
SHEENA (John Guillermin, 1984) *1/2
13 January 2008
This is another film I recall being released in my childhood but have taken over twenty years to catch up with – not that it was a priority for me, knowing of its dismal reputation (SHEENA having been a nominee of five Razzies back in the day); that said, having just watched the even more maligned TARZAN, THE APE MAN (1981), I thought I might as well get to that jungle character’s female counterpart (who originated in a comic-strip)...

The result is perhaps even worse than the notorious John Derek film: if anything, the fact that the character is a household name makes the Tarzan outing a more desirable commodity – besides, even if Tanya Roberts as Sheena does get a couple of gratuitous nude bathing scenes, she’s not really a match for Bo Derek’s Jane! Furthermore, the plot doesn’t exactly compel attention: the ambitious younger sibling of the current African ruler covets both his throne and his intended bride (whose model-type body is also conveniently bared for our perusal) and has him killed – at the same time, contriving to frame the visiting female shaman of an ancient jungle tribe for the deed!

The latter is jailed, but she’s apparently able to communicate telepathically with Sheena (who promptly sets out to rescue her); the scantily-clad, tree-hopping jungle-girl was raised by the shaman ever since the childhood trauma of watching her explorer parents die in a cave-in; the young woman’s gift also allows her to talk to the animals (apparently, all that’s needed is to rub one’s forehead...only it looks more as if the subject’s suffering from migraines!) and, on many an occasion during the course of the film, they come to her aid. Also involved in the narrative are wimpish reporter Ted Wass (who eventually teams up with – and falls for – Sheena), his comic-relief cameraman, and a band of mercenaries in the new king’s employ (unrealistically, he and his bride tag along to their ultimate regret) who sets out in pursuit of our heroes because Wass has unwittingly filmed the assassination.

The film is not unwatchable per se, but it’s not very rewarding either outside of some undeniable campiness – despite the involvement of interesting talent behind the camera: director Guillermin, for one, wasn’t new to the jungle habitat – having directed a couple of the 1960s Tarzan films, SHAFT IN Africa (1973), and the 1976 version of KING KONG (with its lamentable 1986 sequel following SHEENA itself)!; story and (bad) script come courtesy of David Newman (the SUPERMAN films), Leslie Stevens (THE OUTER LIMITS TV series) and Lorenzo Semple Jr. (the 1960s BATMAN), cinematography is by Oscar-winning Pasqualino De Santis (ROMEO AND JULIET [1968]) and the editor is Ray Lovejoy (2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY [1968]); still, perhaps the worst offender is Richard Hartley’s unsuitable score – with a main theme shamelessly redolent of Vangelis’ celebrated music for CHARIOTS OF FIRE (1981)!
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