First, let's get one thing out of the way. A previous commenter points out that:
*** also the black viking somehow cut the tongue out of the man who captured him, during said fight! how can you lose that fight? ***
I just want to say that is one of the funniest things, and the best question, I have read in a long time. Kudos to the author.
But on to "The Norseman." How best to comprehend this masterpiece?
I feel that my writing skills are inadequate, not up to the task of communicating all that is "The Norseman." Perhaps a comparison would be a good start. It occurs to me that "Citizen Kane" did not receive an Oscar for best picture, and in a very similar development, "The Norseman" is not widely considered to be one of the Worst Movies of All Time. I had never heard of it before my Tivo, in an apparent act of revenge, suggested I might enjoy watching it.
I did nothing to Tivo to deserve this.
In any event I assure you, "The Norseman" is, indeed, one of the worst films - if not the worst film -- ever made. Absurd anachronisms, bad costumes, bad characters, ridiculous dialog, the list goes on and on.
But above everything else there is the acting of Lee Majors. Lee Majors is not merely a "bad" actor, like Chuck Norris. Instead, Lee Majors is a sort of Platonic ideal of bad acting, the standard by which all other bad acting should be judged. Majors is not MERELY untalented (although the range of his emotional expression runs the gamut from indifference to, um, nauseated indifference). And Majors is not MERELY wooden (although he makes Al Gore look like Eminem). Instead, Majors' acting actually destroys any attempt at real dialog and character development, the way that a pervasive, horrible odor of decaying flesh might destroy an otherwise perfect vacation in a tropical paradise.
Compare Jack Elam, who has a truly ridiculous role in this film, yet manages to pull it off in a sort of campy, bird-on-my shoulder way. The difference, of course, is that Elam can act. For Majors, there is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.
I came away from this film with the definite and firm conviction that Lee Majors was born too late, and that he should have been the lead actor for the immortal Ed Wood. In my view, only Wood was able to make a film this bad.
You simply must see "The Norseman." Once the Viking dies from an ass-wounding, you'll know you have truly entered the Valhalla of Bad Films
*** also the black viking somehow cut the tongue out of the man who captured him, during said fight! how can you lose that fight? ***
I just want to say that is one of the funniest things, and the best question, I have read in a long time. Kudos to the author.
But on to "The Norseman." How best to comprehend this masterpiece?
I feel that my writing skills are inadequate, not up to the task of communicating all that is "The Norseman." Perhaps a comparison would be a good start. It occurs to me that "Citizen Kane" did not receive an Oscar for best picture, and in a very similar development, "The Norseman" is not widely considered to be one of the Worst Movies of All Time. I had never heard of it before my Tivo, in an apparent act of revenge, suggested I might enjoy watching it.
I did nothing to Tivo to deserve this.
In any event I assure you, "The Norseman" is, indeed, one of the worst films - if not the worst film -- ever made. Absurd anachronisms, bad costumes, bad characters, ridiculous dialog, the list goes on and on.
But above everything else there is the acting of Lee Majors. Lee Majors is not merely a "bad" actor, like Chuck Norris. Instead, Lee Majors is a sort of Platonic ideal of bad acting, the standard by which all other bad acting should be judged. Majors is not MERELY untalented (although the range of his emotional expression runs the gamut from indifference to, um, nauseated indifference). And Majors is not MERELY wooden (although he makes Al Gore look like Eminem). Instead, Majors' acting actually destroys any attempt at real dialog and character development, the way that a pervasive, horrible odor of decaying flesh might destroy an otherwise perfect vacation in a tropical paradise.
Compare Jack Elam, who has a truly ridiculous role in this film, yet manages to pull it off in a sort of campy, bird-on-my shoulder way. The difference, of course, is that Elam can act. For Majors, there is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.
I came away from this film with the definite and firm conviction that Lee Majors was born too late, and that he should have been the lead actor for the immortal Ed Wood. In my view, only Wood was able to make a film this bad.
You simply must see "The Norseman." Once the Viking dies from an ass-wounding, you'll know you have truly entered the Valhalla of Bad Films