Assault on Devil's Island (1997 TV Movie)
3/10
The shadow knows...
22 February 2007
Hulk Hogan stars as Mike McBride, a leader of a seal team that is set up to take a fall. (Many wince inducing sequences of Hogan afraid of his death card showing up) However among the commando unit are Carl Weathers (From the enjoyable Action Jackson), Martin Kove (From the somewhat enjoyable Steele Justice), Shannon Tweed (From a slew of movies (including this one) where she parades around naked) and a huge slew of nameless and faceless muscle-men (Wasn't there a spot reserved for Olivier Gruner or Sam J. Jones?) who face off against drug lord Billy Drago and his minions (Billy Blanks and Trevor Goddard) when Drago is captured his henchman kidnap the U.S swim team and only a group warriors can break the stranglehold and with delta force inspired heroics. First off, people don't watch the Olympics, so if the swim-team was kidnapped most people wouldn't give a damn (It's like abducting the curling team) secondly what can you say about a movie in which Martin Kove gives the best performance? (Weathers seems too embarrassed) Also the action sequences suffer from being made for the TNT channel, and basically Hogan is too low on acting ability to convince us that he knows any martial arts outside of the field of wrestling. I mean the man is at least a foot taller than Dolph Lundgren and weighs a hundred pounds more, so does it even matter if he fights Billy Blanks or Trevor Goddard? Shadow Warriors 2 which this is known as, I guess because Assault On Devil's Island sounds too scary, comes off as a badly made, unintentionally hilarious and cheap-jack action flick that could only star Hulk Hogan. The sad part is that this is one of the man's better efforts, since his kid friendly opuses are my personal visions of hell. (Mr. Nanny, Secret Agent Club, Santa With Muscles and Suburban Commando. Ugh) In many regards Hogan really should've saved it for the ring.

*1/2 out of 4-(Poor)
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