Seinfeld: The Library (1991)
Season 3, Episode 5
7/10
Kan't-STANz'yaa!!!
17 December 2006
Single Favorite Line: (Lieutenant Bookman recalls the past) "Yeah, '71, that was my first year on the job..bad year for libraries - bad year for America...hippies burning there library cards, Abbie Hoffman telling everyone to steal books...I don't judge a man by the length of his hair, or the kind of music he listens to --ROCK WAS NEVER MY BAG!" (okay, not a "line", a soliloquy - but regardless, too good to pass up!)

Notable Guest Stars: Philip Baker Hall (as Lt. Bookman, NYPL w/ a badge!, and Ashley Gardener (as Marion the librarian)

Memorable Exchange: (with Jerry and Kramer leaning over the counter behind Marion at NYPL) J: "...This woman is completely ignoring me!" - K: "Look at her ..this is a lonely woman looking for companionship...a SPINSTER...maybe a VIRGIN!...maybe she got hurt, a long time ago..she was a schoolgirl, there was a boy, it didn't work out...so now she needs a little tenderness, she needs a little understanding --NEEDS a little Kramer!" - J: "..Then she'll need a shot of Penicillin."

Key Topics: *Overdue Books *Changed Appearances *Wedgies *Deceptive Memory *Henry Miller

Part I Didn't Like: I really wanted them to make more of Mr. Haymen, the former Phys-Ed-tormentor-cum-homeless-loon.

Extra Nice Touch: The editing and writing are in near-perfect harmony.

7 of 10 - One of the three best scripted by Larry Charles
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