mlraymond Review of Myra Breckinridge

Myra Breckinridge (1970)

The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen- Nothing Else Even Comes Close

[1/10 · 5 November 2006]

I finally saw this movie on late night cable television some thirty-five years after it was new. And I must say ,that everything I'd ever read about how bad it is,is not only true, but an understatement. This movie is simply so mind-bogglingly bad, words fail to do it justice. One aspect that really stands out: the incredibly long time it takes for the actors to say even the most basic dialog. I swear, a ten minute scene between Myra ( Raquel Welch) and her uncle Buck ( John Huston) seemed to go on for a half hour. I concluded that it was the mind-numbingly idiotic dialog, rather than any lack of acting skills on the performers' parts, that made it seem so endless ( and dull). For a movie that was touted as being sexy and provocative, there simply isn't anything sexy in it, with the possible exception of a fantasy sequence SPOILERS AHEAD: in which Rex Reed's character imagines he's receiving oral sex from Raquel Welch. Otherwise, nudity and sexual references just don't add up to eroticism, when there's no story or characters to care about. This is honestly one of the most literally pointless movies I've ever seen. Again, the thing that struck me was how every time Raquel Welch had to say her ludicrous dialog, how dumb she looked. I defy anyone to have to say the kind of lines she had and not end up looking foolish. One final note: I became so curious about this exasperating movie, that I decided to read the original Gore Vidal novel that launched this wretched film version on the movie-going public, and I found that all of the most annoying aspects of the movie were to be found in the book, right down to the loony, meaningless dialog and the insufferable pretense of the whole thing. There is a vaguely satirical edge to the novel, where one can see that Vidal was sort of making a point, unlike the movie, but I doubt if most readers would agree the point was worth making. The movie is so bad, I actually found myself looking at the clock when there was still a half hour to go, wondering how much more of this torture I could stand. I would only advise people to see this movie if they literally have nothing better to do, but anyone expecting camp and unintentional humor and great laughs should forget about this crap, and go rent an Ed Wood movie instead. Compared to this miserable film, the movies of Ed Wood look like Bergman or Fellini.