Review of Aquaman

Aquaman (2006 TV Movie)
3/10
Is this what a comic book show is supposed to be like? Baywatch: the Second Coming?
29 October 2006
Mercy Reef could be the ultimate example of how to make a really bad pilot. It appears as if the recipe that was used to create this show was:

1) Get a bunch of good looking ex-swimsuit models who can't act: Apart from Ving Rhames, the entire cast combined couldn't deliver lines for a gum commercial. Sure, they all look cute, but their expressionless, bobble-head deliveries look like first year high-school drama.

2) Forget about a plot, just throw lots of poorly thought out action scenes together: The writers seemed to have missed the boat on coming up with a decent enough reason for the audience to stick around. Sure, let's just believe that the sea baddies can tell when Orin is flying above, but can't find him when he's floating outside the door of a wrecked plane. Let's make it so that he'll be out and about in the sea and completely defenseless, but instead they go pick on a jet plane and then be so kind as to leave him alone when he goes to save the mandatory hot female pilot. Okay then...

3) Let's embody every character with every cliché trait you can throw at a wall. Upstanding military man with angst ridden, surfer attitude son who has no sense of responsibility. Lone female pilot (did I mention it's mandatory she be hot?) who is up against the world being given the top assignment. And should we talk about the lovely, bar-tending brunette trying to give the main character a sense of purpose? What is this, Dawson's Creek?

4) And should we throw in some dark-suited government baddies as well? That always goes over like... like... well, something. But I wouldn't leave it in the hands of these writers to think up what?

Seriously, I have to thank the maker for this show being passed over. It is one of the most poorly crafted series I have ever seen. I can't believe that people are actually giving this garbage a rating of 10 out of 10. If this is quality television to some people, then some people need to get out more. This is not Battlestar Galactica level quality. This is not even He-Man quality. This show reads as if it were written over a weekend because the pay looked good, not as if it was a lovingly developed and nurtured work.

Maybe the show's creators should have just used the energy involved in turning this show out to make Smallville a better series. It obviously wasn't a lot of energy, but every little bit thrown back to a half-decent series is energy better spent.
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