What a piece of crap movie. No wait, I take that back, to call this movie a piece of crap is an insult to all previous movies that qualified for this crap distinction. Even as the opening credits rolled, I knew I was in a special event. The pirate ship does not look remotely like a ship from 1841. Scratch that. It does not look like a ship at all. It's a sailboat. I and another weird thing that struck me in the fourth minute was that the voice over narrates the action passages in the movie. Whose ever heard of skipping the action via narrative? So I paused this sucker and went online to find out what IMDb has to say. Sure enough, some kind soul gave this movie two whole stars!!!! But he crapped on it for 8 stars worth. He also sat through more than I'm gonna sit through. The most interesting thing I learned about this dumb movie is that the director died in a plane crash during the making. Well, even the god of movies wanted to do him in!!! I think I forgot to mention that Crossbones reached new highs in bad acting, which is consistent with the rest of it.
Review of CrossBones
