Woody Allen's output of late has undoubtedly been poorer than his works of genius from the 70s and 80s. But Picking Up The Pieces marks an absolute low-point for Woody the actor (as he didn't direct it - Alfonso Arau did - he at least doesn't have to shoulder the blame in THAT department). Arau's religious comedy is insulting on several levels, most notably in its tasteless spoofing of Catholicism and also in its totally ludicrous storyline, which narrates magical, fantastical events but doesn't have the correct tone for a magical, fantastical film. How so many good actors were lured into this debacle is hard to say. They must all look back on this ill-advised foray with a great deal of shame.
Butcher Tex Cowley (Woody Allen) kills and dismembers his adulterous wife Candy (Sharon Stone). He drives out into the New Mexico wilderness and buries her various body parts, before returning to his trailer in Texas. Unknown to Tex, one of Candy's severed hands fell from his truck during his journey to her burial spot. A blind old woman trips over the hand and miraculously regains her sight; believing the hand to be a miraculous gift - perhaps even the hand of the Holy Virgin - she takes it back to her village El Nino. Here, the local church is run by disillusioned priest Leo Jerome (David Schwimmer) who is preparing to quit his faith in order to be with the beautiful village hooker Desi (Maria Grazi Cucinotta). With the arrival of the severed hand, other villagers suddenly ask for - and are granted - personal miracles. Leo suddenly has to face up to the fact that God and faith may be for real. Meanwhile, the unscrupulous town mayor Machado (Cheech Marin) senses an opportunity to transform his run-down border village into a tourist trap, using the hand to lure in thousands of miracle-seeking pilgrims and holiday-makers. But the hand also attracts the attention of psycho-cop Bobo (Kiefer Sutherland). Bobo was one of Candy's many lovers, and he is determined to avenge her death by retrieving the hand and using it as forensic evidence to put Tex in the electric chair.
Virtually nothing works in this film. The script is an unclear, unfocused mess; the acting is indifferent; the jokes are alternately unfunny and offensive; the pacing is dull....in fact, the whole film seems to spit in the viewer's face, such is the contempt with which the audience is treated. Whether you take the film as a spoof, a black comedy or an anti-Catholic satire, it fails miserably. In fact, it fails UTTERLY, and may well be one of the worst films of the 21st Century thus far. If it's a toss-up between watching Picking Up The Pieces again or bathing in a cess-pool, I'll be opting for the latter every time.
Butcher Tex Cowley (Woody Allen) kills and dismembers his adulterous wife Candy (Sharon Stone). He drives out into the New Mexico wilderness and buries her various body parts, before returning to his trailer in Texas. Unknown to Tex, one of Candy's severed hands fell from his truck during his journey to her burial spot. A blind old woman trips over the hand and miraculously regains her sight; believing the hand to be a miraculous gift - perhaps even the hand of the Holy Virgin - she takes it back to her village El Nino. Here, the local church is run by disillusioned priest Leo Jerome (David Schwimmer) who is preparing to quit his faith in order to be with the beautiful village hooker Desi (Maria Grazi Cucinotta). With the arrival of the severed hand, other villagers suddenly ask for - and are granted - personal miracles. Leo suddenly has to face up to the fact that God and faith may be for real. Meanwhile, the unscrupulous town mayor Machado (Cheech Marin) senses an opportunity to transform his run-down border village into a tourist trap, using the hand to lure in thousands of miracle-seeking pilgrims and holiday-makers. But the hand also attracts the attention of psycho-cop Bobo (Kiefer Sutherland). Bobo was one of Candy's many lovers, and he is determined to avenge her death by retrieving the hand and using it as forensic evidence to put Tex in the electric chair.
Virtually nothing works in this film. The script is an unclear, unfocused mess; the acting is indifferent; the jokes are alternately unfunny and offensive; the pacing is dull....in fact, the whole film seems to spit in the viewer's face, such is the contempt with which the audience is treated. Whether you take the film as a spoof, a black comedy or an anti-Catholic satire, it fails miserably. In fact, it fails UTTERLY, and may well be one of the worst films of the 21st Century thus far. If it's a toss-up between watching Picking Up The Pieces again or bathing in a cess-pool, I'll be opting for the latter every time.