gristleizer Review of The Rescue

The Rescue (1988)

Possibly The Worst Waste of Theater Admission Ever

[1/10 · 9 January 2006]

And that's saying a lot, since I saw it as part of a double-bill with "Mannequin" (talk about an ultimate awful film double feature for the ages!) for $2 at the discount cinema. All I have to say to show how preposterous the whole plot was is this: THE KIDS WHOOP THE RED ARMY AND RESCUE THEIR DADS USING A COUPLE OF BOTTLE ROCKETS AND M80's!!!!! That, and that "Mannequin" was the "better movie" in that double feature that I saw that day. The only movie I can think of that had a less plausible plot to it was "Weekend At Bernie's II"....and even that's still debatable. If a bunch of snot nose kids can defeat the army of the most populous nation in the world, why do we even bother to have such a high military budget? Obviously, according to Disney with this movie, you can go to your local Chinatown with, say, a couple hundred bucks and get all the arms you need to defeat a superpower from the illegal unsafe and insane fireworks dealer. Why spend so much money on rocket launchers and automatic rifles when you can arm the US troops with roman candles and cherry bombs for 1/100 the price...with better results. Damn...the curse in Mannequin was more plausible. Avoid this film like a hooker with tons of "cold sores".