5/10
*sigh* Yet another sci-fi botch-up!
28 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Ol' Hollywood makes another mess of the 'science' fiction genre. The fun, creepy premise of a cute young married woman getting' preggo by an astronaut husband who, after routine Shuttle repair mission, is NOT what he seems ... well, how can you go wrong? Ha.

Well, first, you cast a thirtyish actor as a thirtyish astronaut. I didn't know NASA selected greenhorns and then let them fly right-seat--let alone go EVA! (Hey, Neil "one giant leap" Armstrong was 38 when he walked on the Moon; Buzz Aldrin, 39; Alan Shepard was 47!).

Then you name the Shuttle 'Victory'. Nice, gung-ho, jingoist touch, that. Guess you gotta call it 'Victory', though, 'cause the Shuttle's got lasers and photon torpedoes, right? (Note to Hollywood writers: horror films are made more creepy when they come on realistically. Use real Shuttle names--if you're allowed.) I guess I'm supposed to suspend my disbelief, but a parasitic alien which crosses the gulf of space and then selects as hosts two astronauts who just happen to be outside their spacecraft, and then alters them physically in two minutes ... nooooo, that's not 'science' fiction. That's a plot with a garage-sized hole.

Finally, we see poor, frightened, alien-impregnated Gillian confronting her not-husband and exorcising the alien thing which took him over. Turns out it's like, wow, this big, squealing sheet of mucus. Then it's HER turn to be visited. So she's gonna zap the gooey alien, but leave its spawn gestating away inside her? Jeesh, Gillian! So the alien waits until astronaut Spencer went into orbit and got outside, gloms him, jumps poor Spencer's wife, then gloms Gillian anyway? Jeesh, alien! Jeesh, Hollywood! It seems there's a hybridization of _Alien_, Star Wars_, and _2001_ taking place in a lot of current 'science' fiction films. It's as if even a stab at scientific accuracy would somehow compromise the film. No, it wouldn't. A malevolent twist on reality is far more effective horror, I think.

And ... dump the glitzy, rich-folk settings! The silly soundtrack music! The stylized hospitals! The overblown characters! Quit trying to be hip, current, and flashy. Better yet, stop beating the audience over the head with your excesses.

Growf. Until the next Hollywood sci-fi goof-up ...
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