Anyone that's read some of my reviews of other SciFi channel productions will know I'm no fan of theirs. So, it may come as no surprise for you to learn then that, as the opening credits rolled and the SciFi channel name reared its ugly head, I let out a groan of dreary resignation. I feared the worst.
Luckily, this movie is one of the better efforts from SciFi. That doesn't mean it's any good! Heaven's no! It's awful! But at least here they weren't defiling a masterpiece of literature like they did with Riverworld. At least the script is original (in a "seen-it-all-before, help-yourself-to-every-cliché" kind of way).
So here's the story in a paragraph. Unstable scientist (cliche) captures unknown beast (cliche). He then smuggles it aboard (cliche) a cruise liner (never seen a monster movie on a cruise ship before, no sirree!) Creature escapes (CLICHE!) and runs amok (cliche). Creature is unstoppable (cliche) and they call in the marines (cliche). Everyone who is remotely bad or annoying gets killed by beast (cliche). Monster is eventually killed by true grit determination (cliche). The end.
The acting is fair, though poor old John Rhys-Davies looked a little embarrassed to be there. I think he's lost a little weight too! A couple of real stinkers in the acting stakes, but they generally die off pretty quickly.
Effects range from pretty good (the make-up and gore effects), to downright dire (the CGI cruise ship - at one point you actually see through a ship window and look at the inside of the 3D model as it passes by). But dire CGI is a trademark of the SciFi channel anyhow, so I was expecting something bad.
I actually find it quite amusing that, early on in the movie, the scriptwriters decided they needed to explain why the captain (JRD - a Brit) had an American daughter, but didn't think to explain any of the other even more ludicrous things, such as the ineptitude of the marines.
Speaking of which, it was just hysterical to hear the marine actors' "tough talk". Classic military catch-phrases such as "Hoo-Ha!" and "Let's get some!" fall out of their mouths like rain. But they are uttered with such a total lack of conviction that it's just embarrassing to listen to. Couple that with their total lack of logic when decision-making and they just appear as a bunch of idiots. Though the guy in charge of them cracked me up when he decided to stay on the bridge and direct them from there instead of sticking with his men. Priceless stuff.
As for the monster.....well....try not to be disappointed but....it's a guy in a suit! It has the strange ability of being able to make the camera under-crank, giving it the appearance of speed. Actually, I'm glad they did this rather than trying to CGI it everywhere, which would have looked awful. As it is, every time the monster makes its "rush", I can't help but thinking of various Benny Hill sketches. Very silly.
Classically bad dialogue includes the already mentioned elsewhere "I'm the best insurance you've got!" line and the mad scientist who keeps pleading "I've caught it before, I can catch it again!" several times before they let him try just to shut him up.
And as for his trap....well, let's just say that the average 2 year old wouldn't fall for it. And, when the beastie finally does go for the bait, we get a drawn out stalking scene where every time before the creature has just rushed up and savaged it's prey.
In short, the movie is pretty lame. Another example of the cheesy production values of the SciFi Channel. Best avoided.
Luckily, this movie is one of the better efforts from SciFi. That doesn't mean it's any good! Heaven's no! It's awful! But at least here they weren't defiling a masterpiece of literature like they did with Riverworld. At least the script is original (in a "seen-it-all-before, help-yourself-to-every-cliché" kind of way).
So here's the story in a paragraph. Unstable scientist (cliche) captures unknown beast (cliche). He then smuggles it aboard (cliche) a cruise liner (never seen a monster movie on a cruise ship before, no sirree!) Creature escapes (CLICHE!) and runs amok (cliche). Creature is unstoppable (cliche) and they call in the marines (cliche). Everyone who is remotely bad or annoying gets killed by beast (cliche). Monster is eventually killed by true grit determination (cliche). The end.
The acting is fair, though poor old John Rhys-Davies looked a little embarrassed to be there. I think he's lost a little weight too! A couple of real stinkers in the acting stakes, but they generally die off pretty quickly.
Effects range from pretty good (the make-up and gore effects), to downright dire (the CGI cruise ship - at one point you actually see through a ship window and look at the inside of the 3D model as it passes by). But dire CGI is a trademark of the SciFi channel anyhow, so I was expecting something bad.
I actually find it quite amusing that, early on in the movie, the scriptwriters decided they needed to explain why the captain (JRD - a Brit) had an American daughter, but didn't think to explain any of the other even more ludicrous things, such as the ineptitude of the marines.
Speaking of which, it was just hysterical to hear the marine actors' "tough talk". Classic military catch-phrases such as "Hoo-Ha!" and "Let's get some!" fall out of their mouths like rain. But they are uttered with such a total lack of conviction that it's just embarrassing to listen to. Couple that with their total lack of logic when decision-making and they just appear as a bunch of idiots. Though the guy in charge of them cracked me up when he decided to stay on the bridge and direct them from there instead of sticking with his men. Priceless stuff.
As for the monster.....well....try not to be disappointed but....it's a guy in a suit! It has the strange ability of being able to make the camera under-crank, giving it the appearance of speed. Actually, I'm glad they did this rather than trying to CGI it everywhere, which would have looked awful. As it is, every time the monster makes its "rush", I can't help but thinking of various Benny Hill sketches. Very silly.
Classically bad dialogue includes the already mentioned elsewhere "I'm the best insurance you've got!" line and the mad scientist who keeps pleading "I've caught it before, I can catch it again!" several times before they let him try just to shut him up.
And as for his trap....well, let's just say that the average 2 year old wouldn't fall for it. And, when the beastie finally does go for the bait, we get a drawn out stalking scene where every time before the creature has just rushed up and savaged it's prey.
In short, the movie is pretty lame. Another example of the cheesy production values of the SciFi Channel. Best avoided.