Millions (2004)
4/10
A rather shallow grave of clichés about money
24 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I went to this because I loved Trainspotting & there were lots of favorable reviews of it here on IMDb. Big Mistake. This movie irritated me like no other of recent memory. That is not to say that it is the worst film I've seen this past year, but rather that the devices the director used in Trainspotting to great effect (fast-paced editing, music, narration) fail to overcome the plot holes, implausibilities and mediocre acting, and hence, make it so obvious the director is toying with the audience's sentiment.

The film concerns a family (two boys & their father) whose mother passed away & moves to a neighborhood. The youngest boy, who develops elaborate fantasies of saints, builds a fortress in the field next to their house out of cardboard boxes. One day, as a train whizzes by, a bag of money lands on the fortress. He shows the money to his brother. The UK is converting to Euros & the due date is coming up fast upon them. They try to spend the money, however have a difficult time doing so.

** Spoilers**

The film is completely implausible. First of all, Damian (the young boy) never reads or watches DVDs or goes to church, so his rather fantastical fascination with saints is completely out of the blue. After the kids find the money, the older boy tells the younger never to tell his father because he believes he'll have to pay a 40% tax on it (but then he tells the younger that 40% is most of it). Now if the kid knows about estate taxes & can do basic math computations others his age can't, why doesn't he understand 40%? It's clear that it's just one more (rather weak) plot element Danny Boyle added to the film that may pass by the casual viewer, but the implausibility of which Will annoy more learned viewers. There are a dozen other such implausible developments, like the older boy's showing the stack of money to other kids & then paying them not to tell anyone, the younger one stuffing money into the mail slot of a house of Moromons, a police officer who intrudes into the houses of the neighborhood without any notice or objection by the residents, a woman who scams for a Christian Aid agency to young kids in schools (but completely forgets about that mission once she meets Damians dad), and I could go on..... Most of what happens in this movie is completely implausible and the way that Boyle slips into & out of Damian's fantasy world, only obfuscates what happens in the movie. Most annoying is the ending: a mysterious man shows up at exactly where the money was found, the kids first just thinks he's poor, but never seem to put together the (implausible) story told to them from a son of a cop about a heist & money being thrown from a train. The mysterious man pops up in very unlikely places & threatens Damian to get him the money (this time the implausibility of the film goes through the roof).

*** End Spoilers***

By about 10 minutes before the sappy ending, the entire audience had left (ok, there were only about a dozen others in the theater). I only (regrettably) stayed because it was a double feature & I really wanted to see Kung Fu Hustle (the second bill).

What is most annoying about the film is Danny Boyle's overly simplistic theme running through the film that money is evil. The film hints at the complexities of the issue (money can buy badly needed wells in developing countries, money can buy you friends, money is temporary & only useful in this world). However, the film never really engages directly with these issues, but rather only drops them into the film as plot devices. As a result, the film is intellectually dishonest. Danny Boyle may have had a good idea, but this is a poor exaction of it. Download Pink Floyd's "Money" & listen to it, you'll save $8 and 94 minutes of your life, and use that time & money on Kung Fu Hustle instead.
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