1/10
No stars.
6 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
The third sequel in the Texas Chainsaw series is now more famous for starring Matthew McConaughey and Renée Zellweger, neither of whom, at the time the film was made, knew better than to accept such trashy roles. The film begins by asking us to care about a group of teens who leave their prom due to a couple having a fight and end up lost in the woods. This mere minutes after having driven away from their high school, which presumably resides in their hometown. Clearly they have not learned their way around much, but no matter. Before too long, they very soon find themselves running for their lives away from the famous freaky family, not only lost in their home town but, before long, also without their car.

One of the biggest gripes that people have with this film (which is saying a lot, because there is nothing but stuff to gripe about) is that Leatherface seems to have become a transvestite. You can almost watch the transformation in the film, which seems to me to be sort of the result of trying to make Leatherface too complex. There is a point in the film where the trapped Jenny (Zellweger) tries to get Leatherface to help her escape, talking to him exactly like a psychiatrist would talk to a disturbed child.

Come on, we know Leatherface is disturbed; I just don't understand why cross-dressing had to be added to his impressive list of deviations from the pattern of behaviors generally associated with reasonably well-adjusted people. On the other hand, Kim Henkel did co-write the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Tobe Hooper, and has thus been granted at least some right to tamper with the character. What you see in the movie, however, is a lot of tampering gone horribly, horribly wrong. If it ain't broken, as they say, don't fix it. You may end up making it worse.

What is amazing to me is how far McConaughey and Zellweger have both come in spite of this film. As I was watching the film, I couldn't believe I was watching the same actor who had turned in such wonderful performances in movies like Bridget Jones' Diary and Cold Mountain, as well as another actor who displayed strong acting presence in movies like EdTV and U-571. Why the focus on Leatherface being a transvestite? Leatherface is a side character anyway, it is Vilmer (McConaughey) who is the star, which is sad because he plays such a belligerent, disgusting character. If you don't believe me that he's more the star than Leatherface, count how many people Leatherface, or anyone else, kills with a chainsaw in the movie (hint: none).

Vilmer is the new head of household in the backwoods family, working as a tow-truck driver/reckless murderer and who has the fascinating addition of an electric leg that is operated by remote control. At one point, a high school kid pleads for help, then when he realizes Vilmer's one of the bad guys, he runs away from the truck (running straight down the street rather than into the woods to relative safety, of course), Vilmer gleefully chases him down, laughing and hooting and hollering all the while, and then runs him over five or six times before stashing his body on the back of the truck to later taunt one of his little friends with.

As is to be expected, there is never any motive given behind any of the random killings, this is all just the sickening actions of an insane family in the woods, evidently comfortably separate from any sort of law enforcement or even the most tenuous interaction with greater civilization, waiting for unsuspecting teenagers to stumble into their midst. Interesting that the movie starts out as such a gigantic horror movie cliché, and still manages to go downhill from there.

Horror movie sequels are first faced with the usually daunting task of justifying themselves. A horror movie sequel has to have a premise that gives it a reason for having been made, otherwise it is clearly a cash cow made to cash in on the success of the original film. Texas Chainsaw 4, instead, simply passes itself off as something of a remake of the original, rather than another sequel, and turns from the more plodding and slow-moving original to the mindless, completely over-the-top belligerence that you see here.

The scenes at the house are peppered with stupid violence, at one point Vilmer throws Darla to the ground and steps on her neck with his powerful leg, nearly killing her by suffocation or by breaking her neck, clearly not caring which. Naturally, she gets up and complains that she could easily leave him and go back to her husband. Charming. Add cannibalism to the mix and you have a hilariously bad movie.

Jenny spends much of the latter half of the movie trying to escape from the hungry hungry hicks, as we are constantly bombarded with the stupid, stupid characters and plot twists that the movie makes as it ineptly tries to combine the horror and comedy that even the most mildly competent horror film can display. This is exactly the kind of thing that really makes me wonder why, every time a new movie comes out in a certain series, I always go back and watch the whole series before watching it. I'm still working on The Friday the 13th movies, the Nightmares on Elm Street, and the Child's Play films, which are decidedly more fun than the Texas Chainsaws. And to make matters worse, I have heard nothing but bad things about the 2003 Texas Chainsaw.

And given how right all the bad reviews of this movie are, that is certainly a sinking feeling.
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