You watch it for the actors
19 October 2004
This is one of those movies that came in the wake of "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction", with cool-looking people dressed in suits going around killing each other. Like many of these movies it has a beautiful cast but story-wise lacks just that little extra that would lift it from the Valley of Average Movies. Andy Garcia is a fine hero, Chris Walken is a wonderful villain and Gabrielle Anwar is a beautiful love-interest (even sporting a Norwegian name, Dagney!). But the only time there is any real zing and panache is when Walken does his thing, and whenever Treat Williams and Steve Buscemi are on-screen.

Williams gives a refreshing turn as 'Critical Bill', a man who thinks with his fists (you should see what he does at the mortuary where he works) and delivers such over-the-top lines like "I am Godzilla, you are Japaaan!" with great gusto. Buscemi is a cold-blooded hit-man who's willing to shoot you up the ass just so you can take an extra twenty minutes to die a most painful death. Yes, there is something rotten in the state of Colorado.

But director Gary Fleder doesn't manage to build any real tension, maybe because the story doesn't ring true. It goes off to a great start, with a dirty job that goes terribly wrong, but as the rest of the plot plays out it becomes evident that the only true climax of the movie was the above mentioned scene. The remaining hour is sadly predictable, and there are too many easy solutions plot-wise. "How did you find me?" asks one character who's gone underground to escape the wrath of 'The Man with the Plan' (Walken). Good question, I was wondering that very same thing! Of course the movie jump-cuts to the characters talking on another subject, thus by-passing tricky questions like that. Maybe the film-makers would argue that it isn't about these "small" things, but I disagree. This is all sand in the machinery and in the end it bogs down a cinematic journey that should have been great. But again you find yourself watching because of that classy cast.

Director Fleder of course, would go on to do greater things, such as "Kiss the Girls" and "Runaway Jury". Screenwriter Scott Rosenberg would go on and write "Con Air", "High Fidelity" and uhm... eh... "Kangaroo Jack", but that's besides the point.

In the end, "Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead" is all about style, great actors, and very little else. Oh, and I guess it's worth the price alone just to witness the scene where Treat Williams describes what it's like to eat s***.

I kid you not, he really does.

6/10
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