Spike TV VGA Video Game Awards (2003 TV Special)
Less Exciting Than Shaving One's Backside
16 March 2004
The event that was supposed to give video games their "just due" ended up making them look more childish and stupid than ever before. First, most of the celebrities present probably know or have as much to do with gaming as my mailman has to do with horse racing. Kelis, Orlando Jones, POD, Jenna Jameson, etc. make up some of the cast of idiots that probably would have stayed home had they not been paid to pretend like they are fans of gaming. The audience was a host of mostly B and C-list celebrities and features little or nothing about the people who actually make the games or the companies that produce them. The lack of nominations only helped further sink this Titanic of an awards show. The only promising aspect was David Spade but he showed about as much interest in being there as I imagine one would in being asked to paint a house with a toothbrush. My advice for next year would be to feature a number of celebrities who actually are gamers or were noticable additions to certain games (ie; Micheal Madsen, Ray Liotta, Dennis Haysbert, etc.) and industry people who make things happen. Present the nominees in a standard fashion and allow the developers or key voiceover actors give a speech and maybe throw in some game footage. Also, since the public supposedly voted for the winners, how about showing a table that displays the amount of votes and percentages that proclaimed the various winners and so forth.

Finally, for musical guests, I would select some more interesting bands that contributed to various games. For instance, there are a whole host of amazing bands that contributed to Tony Hawk Underground that would never get TV time otherwise. Let the developers pick the bands and let's see some bands like Clutch, Slayer, Anthrax, Unida and Motorhead next year. Overall, the show was a bomb.
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