6/10
Funny, but...
27 October 2003
Warning: Spoilers
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Anyway....

"9 Dead Gay Guys" is a British film by first-time writer-director Ky Lab Mo. It follows the tale of Irish boy Kenny (the handsome Glenn Mulhern), who has traveled to London to hook up with his friend, Byron (the sharp-featured and hot-bodied Brendan Mackey). It turns out that Brendan's been unable to make much of himself, so he earns money by performing oral sex on old gay men he meets in a local bar. Kenny, naturally, is a more than a little nonplussed by Brendan's "day job."

The plot actually when The Queen -- a local flaming homosexual with a huge penis (played with understated femininity by Michael Praed, who some might remember as Prince Michael on the old TV show "Dynasty") -- is found dead. His lover, the Orthodox rabbi known only as "Golders Green" (because he lives on Golders Green), is rumored to have paid The Queen for sex out of a gigantic stash of money kept under his mattress.

The Queen is Dead Gay Guy #1.

Byron and Kenny soon embark on quest to loot Golders Green's mattress of money. Through a quirk of fate, Byron discovers that the murderer was a man with a 3.5 inch penis. The search is on for this man. But nothing is ever that easy.

As they conduct their search for the man with the tiny penis, Kenny and Byron manage to kill two more gay men. When it is discovered that Kenny, too, has a huge penis ("I always thought I was normal!"), Byron concocts a scheme to have Kenny sleep with Golders Green and find out if the money is still in the mattress.

Before long, however, another six dead gay men lay on various floors -- along with one dead lesbian.

By film's end, Kenny and Byron discover that Golders Green and The Queen had not simply exchanged sex for money. They had truly been in love. Kenny and Byron themselves soon realize that they not only share the same (homo)sexuality, but that they, too, may be in love.

I'm not really sure what to make of this movie. Most of the gags in the film are extremely un-PC, but very funny nonetheless. Depicting Golders Green as a greedy Jew, for instance, may offend as easily as it makes you laugh. Depicting the three West African brothers as the stereotypical "hypersexed black male" is just as offensive, and just as funny (especially when one of them turns out to be a well-educated, well-spoken, intellectual philosopher). Dick-Cheese Deepak plays solely off offensive stereotypes of Indian sing-song accents, gay Indian men's supposed problems with foreskins, and the predominance of Indians among cab drivers in London. These jokes -- visual and verbal -- certainly elicit a lot of laughter.

Kenny's fear of gay sex and Byron's easy-going acceptance of "gay for pay" is funny. Later, when Kenny thinks he's gay, it's Byron's turn to play up the "gay panic" jokes. And by film's end, both men appear to be gay after they kiss.

It's funny, but...

The plot twists, too, are funny. Father Ted probably plays better in the United States -- where the Catholic Church's pedophile scandal is much bigger news than in Europe. The way the Iron Lady kills him, too, is pretty funny. There is a scene where Kenny and Byron debate which gay men may have Golders Green's money. They unwittingly talk in front of three little old ladies. The little old ladies turn out to have mouths like truck drivers, and are not miffed one bit by the overtly sexual talk of the two men.

It's funny, but...

Aren't these just cheap laughs? It's very easy to set up stereotypes and then play against them. It's easy to let your actors ham it up, and then get skewered. Some of the visual gags -- such as showing dead Dick-Cheese Deepak lying on top of the smoking hood of his car, scene after scene after scene -- come right out of "The Naked Gun" or "Airplane" and aren't terribly inventive. They're funny, but...

In some ways, the film's over-the-top humor gets stale after a while. The laughter had definitely ebbed by the time the Desperate Dwarf kills the Iron Lady and the three West African brothers. It's funny, but...

And the film's more gentle moments seem out of place. Kenny's emerging homosexuality is almost dealt with tenderly in the picture, making for an odd contrast with the blatantly cruel, dark humor of the rest of the film. The bittersweet revelation about the true nature of the relationship between Golders Green and The Queen also doesn't quite fit. After inducing the audience to guffaw at the most horrific of events, it's disconcerting to try to get us to feel warmth and compassion for Kenny or for Golders Green.

"9 Dead Gay Guys" probably would fare better if I'd had a couple beers in me. It's that sort of movie -- one where you can't feel or think too much about the film, because it breaks down if you do. Had it stuck to the pure-comedy formula of films like "The Naked Gun," I wouldn't have any quarrel with the picture (aside from the extremely offensive stereotypes used). But by mixing in elements of compassion, it's much more difficult to like the film.
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