If my one-word summary drew you in to read this, making you think this would be a rave review of this horrendous piece of trash, then you know how I felt when I picked up the box for this movie, thought it might be cool and watched it. This is easily the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
I can't really talk about the plot because whenever I think about the storyline of this ridiculous excuse for cinema, I suffer alternating waves of nausea and fatigue.
I racked my brain, trying to figure out how this movie could've been made--because, quite simply, it defies logic. Then one day, I awoke from a dream, and before my mind was a vision. And then, o! how clear it was! The answer was given to me, and now, I must tell it to you.
One day, a magic ape escaped from the zoo. During its adventure in the outside world, the ape found a winning lottery ticket blowing around in the street. Since primates can't collect lottery winnings, the magic ape befriended a local neighborhood boy whom nobody played with and was in need of a heart transplant. The ape and the boy adored each other and became the dearest of friends. The magic ape then gave the ticket to the boy's father to collect the winnings for him. But before they could make it to the local convenience store, the zoo keepers caught up with the ape!
During the capture, it was discovered that the ape and the boy were the same blood type and that the boy could receive the transplant of the magic ape's heart. While they were lying in the pre-op room, both beast and boy on the table, the boy's father leaned in close and whispered to the ape, "What should I do? Tell me!" The ape then let out a series of grunts and murmurs that the boy's father loosely interpreted as the premise for a horror film about vampires taking over the world, as well as instructions for using the lottery winnings to finance said film.
I don't know if the kid lived or not, but his stupid father sure did get this atrocity filmed and distributed.
This was yet another in a series of ridiculous movies I have intentionally rented to make good on my vow of revenge against my friend Marc for making me watch equally bad films. This one definitely would've done the job--had the frumpy heroine and bad dialogue not put him to sleep instantly.
I can't really talk about the plot because whenever I think about the storyline of this ridiculous excuse for cinema, I suffer alternating waves of nausea and fatigue.
I racked my brain, trying to figure out how this movie could've been made--because, quite simply, it defies logic. Then one day, I awoke from a dream, and before my mind was a vision. And then, o! how clear it was! The answer was given to me, and now, I must tell it to you.
One day, a magic ape escaped from the zoo. During its adventure in the outside world, the ape found a winning lottery ticket blowing around in the street. Since primates can't collect lottery winnings, the magic ape befriended a local neighborhood boy whom nobody played with and was in need of a heart transplant. The ape and the boy adored each other and became the dearest of friends. The magic ape then gave the ticket to the boy's father to collect the winnings for him. But before they could make it to the local convenience store, the zoo keepers caught up with the ape!
During the capture, it was discovered that the ape and the boy were the same blood type and that the boy could receive the transplant of the magic ape's heart. While they were lying in the pre-op room, both beast and boy on the table, the boy's father leaned in close and whispered to the ape, "What should I do? Tell me!" The ape then let out a series of grunts and murmurs that the boy's father loosely interpreted as the premise for a horror film about vampires taking over the world, as well as instructions for using the lottery winnings to finance said film.
I don't know if the kid lived or not, but his stupid father sure did get this atrocity filmed and distributed.
This was yet another in a series of ridiculous movies I have intentionally rented to make good on my vow of revenge against my friend Marc for making me watch equally bad films. This one definitely would've done the job--had the frumpy heroine and bad dialogue not put him to sleep instantly.