G.O.D. (2001)
2/10
Poor, implausible, cliche-ridden DTV movie
16 December 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Sometimes direct-to-video movies are hidden gems, but this is not one of them.

(Mild spoilers follow regarding certain plot details.)

Jalal Merhi plays a cop who then becomes a security guard who then becomes a truck driver who runs a service called Guaranteed on Delivery (G.O.D.). His latest job is to deliver a chest for some mysterious art dealer-types, which turns out to contain a tied-up woman. He helps her out, but from then on you'd be hard pushed to understand any of the motivations of the characters involved. Rather than contact the police, he decides to go through with the delivery. The reason: to earn a grand sum of $500, which will apparently solve all his financial problems. Also, the woman decides is quite happy to go with him and place her life in danger, even though his plan doesn't require the use of her services at all.

One cliche after another follows, such as the fact that the art dealers just happened to be involved with the death of his wife years previously, the kidnapped relative who serves no other purpose in the movie (the bad guys don't even ask for a ransom, or give details of their location, yet the good guys somehow find them), the showdown between two guys with guns who decide to put them down to settle the dispute with their fists, blonde assassin chick in black leather, etc. etc. And there's also a pointless twist at the end which makes no sense.

David Carradine and Oliver Gruner turn up in dull roles, very suited to a dull movie. If you see it in a rental store, and you've seen everything else, take my advice and walk out.

Eccentric Brit rates it 2/10
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