Review of U.S. Seals

U.S. Seals (2000 Video)
A truly abysmal film
15 December 2002
This has to be the king of bad action movies. The acting is really bad and the action scenes are repetitive and boring. What I found most irritating about this 'film' is that the navy seals don't use any tactics whatsoever-they always dispose of their enemies by simply gunning down the first enemy they see. Some parts are just over the top stupid, for instance during the part where the seals and the bad guys chase each other in armored carriers around a marketplace, a car just, out of the blue, drives from off screen, gets launched into the air and blows up for no reason. What kind of random stunt was that? That wasn't the first time either. Later on an enemy jeep goes up a crude ramp, explodes for no reason and flies into the water. Also the director has some strange fascination with objects suspended in the air that the good guys use to kill the bad guys. The first time, they use a block hanging on a crane to demolish a building with bad guys in it. The second time, they shoot a crane with another block suspended, which drops onto the enemies. The third time, they, using an innaccurate machine gun from a long distance, shoot another crane with a truck suspended below that drops about 6 meters and explodes onto the bad guys. This is just the icing of the cake, of course, because during most of the action sequences the seals are fighting literally an army of bad guys using weapons they aren't supposed to be using, while constantly exposing themselves the enemy fire. I'm going to list some of the most dumb scenes below.

1. The good guys can run straight towards a pillbox with about 4 machinegunners firing at them, yet not get hit a single time. They hid behind a tree, throw a grenade without even looking and guess what? It flies through the slit in the pillbox and blows it up.

2. Throughout the entire movie the seals never, ever, have to reload their rifles. I estimate that they fired about 1000+ bullets, yet there isn't a single scene of them reloading, nor do they run out of ammo.

3. The seals are deadly accurate with their weapons, and the enemies couldn't hit a house even if they were inside one. Every grenade, every burst of gunfire from the seals always hits, and only one bullet the army of enemies fires actually hits a seal. I hate to say this but I nearly slept by the final battle because it had the same turnout.

4. The seals can't get killed by explosions. One scene had shells, missiles and rockets exploding all around them, and despite the fact that most of them exploded within a radius of less than 5 feet around them, not one seal got fazed or hurt. Yet their grenades explode with a tiny bang but can kill enemies several meters away.

5. The seals behave in an extremely barbaric manner. When interrogating the bad guys, they bash, punch, smash, and torture them to get answers. If I were a seal I'd be offended at the way this film portrays me.

All in all, US seals is a bad movie, but a good comedy. I saw a preview for the sequel and it showed the seal doing flips and sommersaults while sword fighting a bad guy. It just goes to show that this movie isn't really about US Seals.
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