The Coroner (1999)
8/10
Confusing, yet amusing (somehow I saw this coming).
24 May 2004
Absurdity at it's finest form - where else could you see a bald-headed middle-aged horizontally challenged man debuting in a lead role and even get to see his naked butt? Fans of B-movies and people who receive pleasure in pain: pay heed to this movie or regret the rest of your life.

Personally I have a tad of twisted tendencies towards the latter one of the aforementioned - mental sadomasochism - and probably not very surprisingly does my DVD shelf consist of not only bad movies but also movies that are hauntingly awful in the vain of The Coroner. Yes, there is a thin line between a bad movie and a movie that is bad in a good manner. No, The Coroner isn't a good-bad, it's plain bad, and no, I haven't been on drugs while handing over my credit card to the video store clerk when buying this film - consider this flaw of mine as an extremely entertaining fixation.

Like said, one should never underestimate the mindlessness of nonexistent requirements for a film to be released and actually distributed throughout the world. I think a plot around a chief coroner illusioning himself as the right hand of God mutilating women who have attempted suicide yet survived, cynical policemen who almost laugh at crime victims' face and a couple of lawyers trying to track down a mass murderer makes out a very decent mixture that is - quite unfortunately - mostly digestible only to a very small audience.

Nevertheless, I can't imagine anyone not liking this movie. People who don't worship bad movies just simply leave this kind of flicks in the cut-out bin for a loving family to pick them up, simple as that. Surely no sane person could possibly think that The Coroner would actually possess any potential for a horror/thriller movie to be taken seriously, for even the cover is so grotesque that it would freak the living crap out of no less than the Beast of Yucca Flats himself.

I really wonder how they managed to get this one on DVD with all the random gratuitous breast shots in the opening scene, intro credits with a musical piece that would make Danny Elfman turn in his, well, armchair etc., but I'm glad they did, because the infamous blowdart scene is truly one of the most confusing moments I've ever seen on screen and the VCR couldn't auto-repeat these disturbingly amusing seconds. I was with my buddies when I first saw this film and I imagine we all stared like retards jaws open wide with a wonderful "What in the world?" look on our faces, and having read another review of the movie afterwards I think that's exactly what will happen to anyone who dares to see The Coroner without proper preparation (though in that case the glamour would have been already taken away from you and the whole film would seem like a mindless and dull low budget production).

Enough of the blabbering, go see it yourself if you're stupid (or drunk) enough. All in all rather entertaining experience, but not to be viewed alone: make sure you can share the tears of laughter caused by the unintended comicality.
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