3/10
Why my wife steals the remote
30 May 2002
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of the films which cause my wife to hide my remote from me, so that she doesn't have to endure any more of my weird movie selections. After this film, I have more sypmathy for her.

** Some Spoilers**

Normally I like both Jeff Goldblum and Mimi Rogers, but in this film Goldblum annoyed the hell out of me. His stream-of-consciousness, stammering blather appears in almost every scene. His mannered performance serves to attract attention to Goldblum and not the story itself. Not only would this repulse normal people from ever conversing with him, it feels like a fakey way to produce internal dialogue. We spend 90% of the film thinking that Pigeon is more of a Weasel than anything else, and suddenly we're supposed to say 'Awwwww' as they hug and kiss and make up (twice) at the end. Both the audience (and his wife) are supposed to conveniently forget that he planned her cold-blooded execution and only missed out on doing it because she abruptly left him first.

Mimi Rogers lends her glowing screen presence to this limp noodle of a film, but her straightforward portrayal unfortunately accentuates the weirdness of Goldblum's; either both should have played it straight or both should have jumped off the deep end together. As a result, she winds up looking like she's waiting for Goldblum to take a breath at mid-bite (on the scenery, natch) to quickly inject her dialogue.

Very little fits in what should have been a taut and funny thriller of sorts. The detective is made to appear as a buffoon when he is actually GETTING EVERYTHING RIGHT. All Pigeon does with his friends is berate them for not doing enough for him, and they act like they agree with him. His wife goes off on a hike in terrain so rough that a guide is required, but then we see her at a perfectly accessible campsite wearing walking shorts and a flannel shirt, not to mention the platoon of policemen clad only in uniform following Pigeon up the trail. We're supposed to be amused when minor characters are interviewed on TV saying how strangely Pigeon acted -- after everyone assumes his wife is dead -- but he WAS acting strangely, so strangely that you wonder why no one reported him to the police while he was staying at the resort.

It's not an awful, 'Battlefield Earth' disaster, but it's not good at all. I give it a 3.
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