Review of Smithereens

Smithereens (1982)
5/10
TVs and Tuna
26 July 2003
Wren is a dirty birdie. A vagrant punkette skumbag who wears a checkered vinyl mini-skirt with blue pantyhose and pink hi-top Converse. Her only possessions are a busted-up portable TV and a trash bag full of really scary dipsy-dumpster punk fashions (think Pat Benatar 1981 or Punky Brewster 1984). She looks stupid, acts stupid, and is stupid. She's my hero.

Wren inadvertently wins the affection of this dorky kid with a big heart, who lives in his van and has really bad hair. This relationship functions because:

A) She's a filthy homeless mess, and he's got a van she can sleep in

B) He's into filthy homeless messes, and he's got a van she can sleep in

The dork doesn't understand why Wren lets him buy her drinks and then leaves the bar with other dorks. He keeps buying the drinks and pouts a lot. What a dork! Wren can't be bothered with the dork's unwanted advances and so she goes about stalking this skuzzy douche-bag who has a punk-band. And really bad hair.

All kidding aside, there are some touching moments in this film that kind of reach inside of you and warm your heart. Like when the dork lets the cracked-out hooker sit in his van because it's chilly outside, and in return she offers him a bee-jay and the tuna-sandwich her mom packed as a between-trick snack. That scene almost made me cry.

I love this movie so much that I had to go out and buy it. And I'm glad I did because now my sofa doesn't tip forward on that one side.
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