While many people when they were young might have fantasized about spying on attractive members of the opposite sex as they changed clothes in one of those changing rooms along the beach, actually being stuck in one of these rooms for 90 minutes and having to spy on EVERYONE who comes in is a different thing entirely. The characters in this movie are no more physically appealing than your average beach-goer (one is literally a mutant), and they are even more annoying. The funniest characters are Jodie Foster's grandparents. In one of those wacky Italian scenarios they're trying to foist their already-pregnant granddaughter on some unsuspecting guy who'll then obliged to marry her. Why they'd choose any of the morons in this movie though is beyond me. The worst characters are two idiotic, ugly-looking guys (dubbed with Brooklyn accents) who have unaccountably picked up two reasonably attractive girls (who just want someone to buy them lunch?!), but then one of them gets hit in the head with a canoe (don't ask) and spends the rest of the movie dreaming about sheep, naked women, and Catherine Denueve (in what has to be her most pathetic role). I can think of only three reasons why someone would enjoy this movie: you're a fan of Italian sex comedy (hello? anyone?), you want to leer at a barely pubescent Jodie Foster (have they released John Hinckley from the mental institution yet?), or you want to see some really unattractive people naked. Everyone else should stay out of the casotto.
Review of Beach House
