3/10
When Britain Made Some Crap Movies
4 November 2003
I remember watching this aged about eleven and not thinking much of it then and when I watched it on Sky movies a couple of weeks ago I liked it even less . What`s wrong with the movie can be summed up with the opening scene where a bunch of bikini clad blondes are going to be sacraficed . If the time period is set " when dinosaurs ruled the Earth " how come there`s human beings ? As every boorish schoolboy knows dinosaurs died out millions of years before primative man walked the surface of the planet . Oh and the voice over informs us there`s no moon which is another anachronism . BTW why are the blondes going to be sacraficed ? To increase the collective IQ of humanity ?

Actually watching this film as an adult male I was very impressed by the costume design or rather the lack of it . Yup it`s a Hammer production so you just know that the female cast were chosen because of their lung capacity , but this leads me to ask : If that`s what women looked like in the stone age how come it took hundreds of thousands of years for the population to reach six billion ? Costume design aside the rest of the production values are very poor , much of the location exteriors were obviously filmed in a studio with sea borne scenes filmed in a swimming pool and it goes without saying the ( Not very special ) special effects are of a DOCTOR WHO standard

Be warned that if you`re writing an article on stone age man don`t use this film as a source of information . I`ve already pointed out some mistakes and here`s some more things that are difficult to accept

1 ) In the stone age everyone had perfect teeth

2 ) In the stone age people from different tribes had no problem understanding one another if they pointed their fingers

3 ) Dinosaurs always make the same screeching noise no matter what species they belong to

4 ) When a dinosaur hatches from an egg it grows to adulthood within a few hours

5 ) Animals like snakes and crabs were a lot bigger in the stone age

6 ) If a cave woman has blonde hair she will almost always have brown eyes , while a cave man with dark hair will almost always have blue eyes indicating that genetics were somehow different in the stone age
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