Every 2022 Release I Saw

January 4, 2022 2/10

"VampFather is one of those movies that does fall into that so bad it’s good category by having some really weird choices, bad digital artifacting, weird lighting choices, reusing shots, hilariously bad dialogue and line delivery and some super silly musical choices. However, I will say Trejo was a lot of fun to watch as an aristocratic vampire and he’s definitely the standout. This never really shows the vamps doing anything besides hissing which is just a stock dog snarl. There’s a million fade to blacks and a lot of which or abrupt scene transitions. This is definitely a bad movie but it does have some charm. Sure there’s large sections in between that are hard to sit through to get to the funnier, head scratching scenes but I still feel like it could be a decent background party movie."

January 14, 2022 7/10

"Belle has some truly stunning animation with scenes so jammed pack full of details to shows how far the medium has come and what it’s capable of. While the story does a great job at building it’s characters and presenting themes of grief, abuse, social networks and coming of age. Ultimately the story boils down to a Beauty and the Beast rip off that became massively annoying and distracting for most of the film. Still it’s one of my favorite scores/soundtracks of 2022."

January 14, 2022 3/10

"Starting the year off with the worst entry into the Hotel Transylvania series. Terrible animation and a lackluster story leads to frustrating times even if some of the cast replacements did a good job filling in."

28 January 2022 8.5/10

"Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes is a Japanese Sci-fi film based around a cafe owner who realizes two tvs can be a view into the past and future of two minute intervals all while being shot in one take. The main gimmick of the film being that it’s suppose to be one take was actually something I didn’t pick up on until about half way through the film despite it apparently being on the poster. Personally I really loved it. The film felt very creative in it’s storytelling, using the time paradoxes to present some funny moments. It can get a but convoluted but is never anything that felt to break it’s own rules. Some moments of actors repeating scenes in past, present and future were pretty impressive. I will say most of the film is the group running back and forth between the two rooms, everything is set in one tiny location and there’s multiple scenes repeating themselves for the time loop but for me I never found it boring. This felt like an impressive and creative little low budget sci-fi flick that I really enjoyed."

January 28, 2022 5/10

“Home Team is a family Happy Madison film that does have some humorous moments but is ultimately forgettable. There is enough here for a certain audience, someone like my mom.”

February 4, 2022 8/10

"Jackass Forever is exactly what you'd want a Jackass farewell to be as a long time fan. The stunts feel more brutal but there were so many moments where I was laughing with as much pain and the cast was in. I needed a good comedy and Jackass Forever came in for me."

8 February 2022 2/10

"Catwoman Hunted might be the worst DC animated film I’ve seen. The story follows Catwoman as she attempts to steal a precious jewel and is stopped by Batwoman and some cops who enroll Catwoman to help Batwoman bring down the criminal organization that Black Mask is involved with. First off, I hate the dialogue and one liners in this film. They are eye rolling and cringe inducing for almost every line. The quips are way too frequent where they became frustrating. The animation is rather bad too which is somewhat new for DC’s line of animation. There’s a specific car chase scene that comes to mind that looked terrible. There’s also some bad animation when it comes to the mouth animation during dialogue scenes. For the most part I thought the music in the film didn’t help the cheesy cornball tone as a lot is this jazzy score. Really disappointed with this one."

February 18, 2022 7/10

"The Cursed was a fun take on the werewolf story with some great cinematography even if there is some shaky CGI. With great characters and some really punching gore effects, it’s hard not to get sucked into the tension. There’s some great choices in direction to let certain shots linger and for the most part holding off showing the monster which left the creature intimidating. Even after we got a good look at the creature, it’s design held strong to still make it unsettling even towards the end of the film. This is a fun little creature feature that isn’t corny but provides some real scares along the way."

18 February 2022 5.5/10

"Dog stars Channing Tatum and is co-directed by him about an army ranger who’s trying to get redeployed who has to take an Army Ranger K-9 to it’s human partners funeral. Along the way Tatum and the dog bond and it’s pretty formulaic. This is a film that was enjoyable enough during to not feel the runtime but doesn’t standout enough to be very rememberable over time. This is without a doubt though a film my Mom would absolutely love. I do like the fact that it’s not a cgi dog but a real dog so that’s nice. I don’t have too much to say about this one."

18 February 2022 7/10

"Ted K is a character study of Ted Kaczynski a.k.a. The Unabomber brought forth by a great performance by Sharlto Copley. The film really explores Ted’s mental state and what lead to his anger and frustration. Some good choices of direction and editing helped brought that headspace to life by having pushed audio and some almost distorted visuals and audio to feed into the frustration. My biggest issue with the film falls on the visuals. While there’s some good framing and some good visual moments, the film looks very cheap and by that I mean it looks to have been shot on a DSLR or something akin to that because of the inconsistent and bad color grading. There’s also some moments where it sounds like Sharlto’s South African accent slips in which doesn’t really affect the performance, just something I noticed. Other than that, this is a solid character study that is fairly well crafted."

February 18, 2022 3/10

"Uncharted features some of the worst casting I’ve seen in a while as Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg really feel like they’re phoning it in. They story feels like a quick cut from the games and felt like it undermined the characters a bit especially Victor Sullivan. The action for the most part isn’t exciting and the under laying score is cliche and boring. The film looks incredibly fake as almost everything that is green screened or CGI looks pretty bad. There are a few moments where the source material shines through and the film feels true to it’s roots but unfortunately those are few and far between. Uncharted should have been one of the easiest games to convert into a movies."

February 22, 2022 2/10

"Going to be hard to beat this one for worst of the year. A terrible story with weak characters that you hate seeing on screen, the only positive was some of the gore effects were decent, the rest of the film is slock that I don't recommend wasting your time on."

24 February 2022 7.5/10

"Hellbender is a film made by the Adams Family, a Mother, Father & daughters troupe that’s been making some pretty interesting films that utilize their micro budget and resources pretty effectively. This time around a witch or hellbender has a daughter who is starting to discover her powers and bloodlust. The dynamic between them feels truthful and real, probably because they are actually mother and daughter. The power struggle between the two is captivating to watch and can lead to some horrifying trippy imagery. Both leads give solid performances that mixed with a great punkish grungy score and soundtrack can make for some unforgettable moments. This personally is probably my favorite I’ve seen so far from the troupe."

February 25, 2022 6.5/10

"Studio 666 isn’t a great movie but it is a fun movie. The film follows The Foo Fighters as they go to record a new album when demons in the house begin to demon. For the most part the acting is bad, the cgi demons look terrible and the film does something I always hate. When a film goes Meta and people are basically playing themselves in the movie, when you cast other famous actors and they don’t play themselves but rather a fictional character it’s really distracting. Still though, between the band’s chemistry, the plot set up, some fun gore effects and its tongue and cheek nature it’s a really fun popcorn watch."

4 March 2022 6.5/10

"After Yang is a futuristic story about how a family deals with their family android malfunctions. The story presents themes of how technology plays a part of the family dynamic and how it can separate them while also presenting themes of what is humanity in terms of it’s worlds clone and android population that feels to present messages about racist tendencies despite the mainly cast being racially diverse. However, I feel like the film, while presenting these themes, may not have explored it in a way to also make the film more engaging as moments felt to drag quite a bit. The film is well shot and I love the aesthetic of the world it built. There’s a lot of interesting concepts here in terms of the worlds technology and it’s vague hint at a previous world and reproductive issues but again it’s not explored in a way that makes the film as gripping as I was hoping for."

March 4, 2022 8/10

"The Batman is a brooding and dark take on the Dark Knight with some amazing cinematography and score. Pattinson is great as Batman. For me though as the mystery unfolds, I found it to be rather predictable and at moments you can feel the 3 hour run time. Still The Batman is a great entry to the Bat's cinematic legacy and I wouldn't mind venturing further into the universe."

March 11, 2022 7.5/10

"Moon Manor presents the fact of mortality with levity around a fascinating lead character. It’s a simple setting and story that is hard not to fall for it’s charm. The film does have some cheesy moments or some jokes that can fall flat but also has some really interesting perspectives on mentality. This is a little gem of a film."

March 11, 2022 4/10

"Turning Red, to me, is one of Pixar's worst in their line up. Bad looking animation with annoying one dimensional characters that presents a relatively good message but falls flat as a metaphor. With a lack of good humor or an interesting conflict that we haven't seen a million times by now, Turning Red feels like a cheap rip off of Brave."

18 March 2022 2.5/10

"Umma follows Sandra Oh’s character as she is a bee keeper with a teenage daughter and gets sick from electric. As her daughter might be preparing to leave for college and Sandra Oh gets word of her mother’s passing, the false spoopins start happening. This is a film that is exactly everything I hate in horror movies. Relying solely on musically cues to induce tension instead of building it naturally in scenes. Poorly written characters that, while have developmental, make consistently stupid choices that leads to frustrating moments and a ton of false jump scares you just left me feeling annoyed. Sandra Oh really felt like she was just there for a paycheck while the rest of the cast were pretty decent. I do like some of the themes presented here about mental illness and generational trauma. I enjoyed the backbone to this story but unfortunately the rest of the body was like me, frustratingly ugly."

March 18, 2022 6.5/10

"X is a fun slasher exploitation with a strong performance by Mia Goth and some really fun visuals. The film doesn’t hold back the brutal gore as a group rents out an old house from an old couple to shoot a porn film. This plot alone lead to some really creepy moments between the porn group and the old couple but once it hits the fan, it hits the fan. It’s a fast paced little film that is an enjoyable ride but lacks a since of a strong identity that will make it stand out among the rest in this genre. A lot of the characters are rather one note, there’s moments of course the characters make dumb decisions and the film doesn’t really make you root for anyone to make it out. Still not a bad little slasher-spoliation."

March 18, 2022 5.5/10

"Windfall stars Jason Segal, Jesse Plemons and Lily Collins is about a man played by Segal breaking into a billionaires house as the couple played by Plemons and Collins return home unexpectedly leaving Segal stuck with the couple as he tries to figure his way out while extorting money from them. It’s not a bad little thriller as the three give great performances and Segal gives one of the better I’ve seen from him. My issue with the film is the massive amount of downtime since we aren’t presented with much outside of the predicament the characters are in. Sure Segal starts off as the bad guy but as the film goes on the table turns as we learn more about the characters but that was pretty predictable. Segal’s character at times is also way to incompetent to be believable at moments and some of the attempts at humor don’t land. There’s good pieces here as the film looks good but is sonically vacant as the score is unnoticeable. What really hold the film together is the solid performances."

25 March 2022 9/10

"Everything Everywhere All At Once is a master class in vfx and storytelling. The film follows a Chinese immigrant family who’s running a laundry mat who’s also massively behind on taxes. There’s a bunch of turmoil in the relationships within the family and out of nowhere we are presented with multiple dimensions, dimension hoping and a lot of wild and crazy things that makes this film so much fun. They keep the multiverse exposition rather simple to help focus on the characters in the moment and the film does an amazing job giving every main character a deep rich history which compliments the films message of mental health, family emotional connections, trauma and the stress of it all. The film presents these ideas and ties them all together with a lot of great visual foreshadowing and metaphors. The entire cast’s great performances also help in cementing the chemistry. This is a film that you’ll probably pick up more and more the more you watch it. Even the stunt work for the fight scenes are great. This one could go up on a second viewing."

March 25, 2022 7.5/10

"RRR is an absolute wild ride that gives you tonal whiplash jerking between comedy, romance, musical, drama and being straight up brutally violent in the best way. Every element is completely over the top and for a movie over three hour longs it flew by. This is a film that revels in it’s spectacle in the vein of that doesn’t make any sense but it is cool as hell. There’s moments where the special effects really falter and character moments and plot lines that feel either rushed or undeveloped, some character actions are goofy and sometimes doesn’t make sense but the level of spectacle would even tickle Michael Bay’s taint."

25 March 2022 6.5/10

"You Are Not My Mother is an Irish horror film that follows Char as her Mother is suffering from extreme mental illness. Using that mental illness to manifest the horror throughout the film. The story reminded me a long of The Babadook but maybe a little more on the nose about it’s message on the horrors of mental illness and how a parents illness can affect their child. Not to say The Babadook was a little on the nose as well. One of the highlights for me was Carolyn Bracken who plays the mother as she gave a stand out performance. As for the horror side, this felt more like a family drama with horror elements to me that worked for the story but don’t expect to be jumping out of your seat since the plot is rather predictable. Still it’s a pretty well shot film with some strong elements."

29 March 2022 8/10

Full Review on YouTube youtu.be/Xauq4fWsl8s

March 30, 2022 7.5/10

"Nitram is the new Justin Kurzel joint about the Port Arthur massacre that boasts an amazing lead performance by Caleb Landry Jones. The film carries a some of Kurzel’s style but feels more patience than some of his other films, missing that frenetic energy that moments in this film needs. The film also feels a bit lacking in Kurzel’s visual style that I really enjoy and is somewhat absent of music that could have inflated the film based on his other choices of music in past films. Still Nitram is a gripping character study into a mass murder that is both gripping and unnerving. The score could go up on a second viewing."

1 April 2022 3/10

"Morbius being the biggest movie meme of the year, I had to check it out. Even with lowered expectations, this was pretty much exactly as bad as everyone was saying. The story of Morbius has moments where you see that this could have been decent but with Leto being one of the most unlikable leads, terrible cgi and a rushed plot with little character development, lead to a forgettable watch. There are some plus sides though, for one the film is so rushed that the hour and forty so minutes just fly by. There’s also some ironically hilarious moments especially with the Man Bat character designs. They were never really intimidating but at moments had me chuckling. This could have been something else but what we got was a meme with a meme lord in the center."

April 8, 2022 5.5/10

"Metal Lords has somethings going for it I really love. For one the music, but also how the intergrade that music into the plot. I also really love the ending set piece but there’s a lot I really hated about the film. For one the plot is very predictable with some rather unlikable leads that gives the audience nothing to care about with them. There’s multiple moments where I felt like the writers have never been to a real high school before. The writing just lead to many frustrating moments.Best thing I can say about the film is Isis Hainsworth who gives a stand out performance and by the far the best in the cast."

April 8, 2022 1.5/10

"Sonic 2 takes everything that made the first film terrible and cranks the dial to be one of the most obnoxious films I’ve seen. Every line from Sonic and Eggman is either a pun or a joke that falls flat every time. Sonic is without a doubt one of the most unlikeable characters ever made in these films. I thought that now with the origin story out of the way from the first movie and introducing some more Sonic characters that the sequel would improve on the first but instead does everything far worse. Tails adds nothing to the film other than frustrating inconsistencies with the CGI. Knuckles has a few good moments but has a serious lack of character development that left a crucial character moment in the film feel like a flat switch with nothing provoking it. Without a doubt, this film has some of the worst CGI I’ve ever seen from a major studio movie including moments where live action actors are clearly not looking in the right direction of the CGI characters. This is a cheap looking film that was a slog to get through."

15 April 2022 5.5/10

"This is a film my mom would love."

April 22, 2022 6.5/1

"I'm a furry now"

April 22, 2022 9/10

"The Northman follows prince Amleth after his father is killed by his uncle as a young boy. When he barely escapes his own death he vows vengeance. This to me is my favorite of the Eggman’s movies, I loved it. The story is gripping from start to finish. The brutality of it’s nature is gut wrenching at times even if this isn’t a super action packed film. The fight choreography felt almost like expressive dance motions rather than random swings of a sword. The cinematography put’s almost every frame in a picturesque moment. However I did hate the choice to do most of the night scenes as a day to night where they shot in the day and then color corrected to night. This film doing it in pretty much black and white it was still a decision that took me out of the moment. The score was also amazing, honestly there’s very little I didn’t like about the film and I’d strongly recommend it."