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The Good Doctor: Venga (2021)
Holy mother of cringe
I gave this 3 stars, because if it does a few things well (or at least "interestingly").
One, it does highlight wealth and healthcare disparities between developed countries and developing countries (although in terms of pitiful access to healthcare, the doctors could just as well have stayed in the US, for obvious reasons).
Two, it depicts the isolation and the pervasive, persistent traumatic effect on a mother-to-be of losing a fetus.
These two themes are addressed, although the first one seems almost accidental. Sadly, though, they don't succeed in lifting this episode above the agony of its many clichés.
From the orange/yellow filter that appears to be cinematographic shorthand for the "Global South" (are we really still doing that? In the 21st century?), to the "noble savage" portrayals of the faux Guatemalans smiling so devoutly through their impoverishment, to the "White Saviour" complex that even a multi-ethnic cast is incapable of concealing, this episode is cocktail of the laziest tropes on the little screen.
In juxtaposing the American doctors and the Guatemalan patients, the episode manages to portray the Americans as dramatic, over-emotional, naive, privileged, shallow, and linguistically challenged. For this, I gave the episode a third star, because even if the effect was accidental, it was still accidentally accurate.
Manifest: Graveyard Spiral (2021)
Annoying
This and the last episode were hopefully the culmination in a "graveyard spiral" of stupid people doing stupid things and getting their just deserts.
Ben's character has gradually been fleshed out as an uber-loose cannon with zero executive function, incapable of the basic adult self-control or forwards planning necessary to avoid getting himself and those close to him into a world of regret and vexation. It started out being portrayed as hot-headedness and passion, but by Season 3, his impulsivity has turned him into a liability of national security-level proportions, and it's grimly satisfying when Vance tells him to his face how recklessly idiotic he's been.
In this episode, sadly, Michaela takes a leaf out of her zero-executive-function-having brother, deciding to go against direct orders from, and promises to, her precinct boss and go running off upstate to deal with the unfinished business of an Egyptian mythology-inspired homicidal nutcase.
Michaela's original partner, Jared, is only dragged into the proceedings as an afterthought-and her new partner (probably the series' most likeable character) is nowhere to be seen. Instead, she runs off half-cocked with her ersatz brothusband Zeke, because, as one of New York's finest, solving cases with wholly untrained family members is obviously what you do.
Perhaps because, for the Stone family, rudimentary self-control and the following of due process are as incomprehensible as the Egyptian hieroglyph papyrus upon which this story arc is so brittly based, they inevitably end up reaping what they sow, and have now started invoking divine intervention to compensate for their lack of foresight and introspection.
It's hard to care about characters like this: To quote Hugo Weaving's Elrond in The Hobbit, "You should've stayed dead." But at nearly 3/4s the way through, I may as well stick with it till the bitter, irritating end.
What saves this from a lower rating are some touching performances from characters Zeke and Pete, as well as a solid performance from daughter Olive, who seems to be the only one in the family with her head properly screwed onto her shoulders.
The Exorcist: Help Me (2017)
Wonderful, but probably not for the Blatty purists
I've found this season (focusing on the island and Andy's foster home) to be a well thought-through and in several ways uplifting allegory on the "demon" that is depression (this episode's title, in retrospect, is a hint): from the way the disease takes its insidious hold on the sufferer, to how nebulous, disorienting, isolating and corrosive it is, to the way various characters take solace in and strength from one another.
The other part of the season, focusing on the characters Bennett and Mouse, almost seems like it's only there to appease those expecting something more obviously related to Blatty's original "Exorcist". In that sense, I'm not sure this parallel plot succeeds, as it feels more Dan Brown than William Blatty.
Still, very worthwhile viewing, with some great performances and imaginative cinematography throughout.
Smile (2022)
Decent
Creepy enough, in the beginning: an effective psychological horror. Unfortunately, as this wears on, or feels more and more derivative. The most obvious comparison, to me, was the Japanese film trilogy, "Ringu", of which "Smile" feels almost like an adaptation or a variation on a theme.
The main character's descent into insanity is portrayed effectively enough, but the big reveal (when the "monster" is shown on-screen) is, as is usually the case, a big disappointment and almost laughable.
Points are scored here for the relatively unknown cast, and for the atmosphere of unease created in the first half of the film, due in no small part to the main setting in an emergency psychiatric hospital - but overall, it's not particularly original or (ultimately) scary.
Resurrection (2013)
Very enjoyable
If you're a fan of the Southern Gothic genre, then this is definitely for you. It's something of a slow burner (all the sadder since it was cancelled after two seasons), and it contains the familiar themes of small-town detachment, fear, and an eery otherworldliness.
There's symbolism, too, but it's never overly intrusive. Generally solid performances from some quite established actors, although nothing too mind-blowing. Still definitely worth a binge.
Atmospherically, it reminds me of the 2013 series, "Rectify" (another gem in the Southern Gothic catalogue), with elements of the 2002 series, "Taken", in terms of its exploration of deeply human themes and questions of fear, loss and love-by positing an occurrence that is so scientifically unexplainable that it forces a reacquaintance with the spiritual.
Travelers: U235 (2017)
Is the screenwriter really from the future?
I had to keep checking back to see when this episode was first released: November 2017, just over 2 years before we first started hearing about Covid-19.
The episode is so prophetic that it's almost scary. It captures the feeling of helplessness and incipient panic in a global virus outbreak, and even introduces (albeit on a simplified level) the concept of "R zero"--the basic reproduction number--where an infection rate below 1 implies a virus will fizzle out on its own, and a rate above 1 leading to a pandemic.
The episode captures the rush against time in the search for a cure, and the feeling of losing control, both in terms of how we lead our daily lives, and in the lootings and quarantines that presage a society in the throes of a lethal stress test.
Compelling viewing.
Ghost Wars (2017)
Ghost Bores
I've nearly finished the first (and only) season. This offers *just* enough to prevent the casual watcher from giving up on it, but very little more.
The main protagonist is eye candy, and even the presence of the criminally underrated Vincent D'Onofrio isn't enough to save the general acting from being a full house of cringe.
I like the portrayal of the ghosts as somehow electromagnetic, and I've stayed with it so far...so hoping for things to step up, towards the finale.
Cursed (2020)
Weird Arthurian flex. Not ok.
I managed all the way through Season 1, so it wasn't completely dire. But I would still vigorously recommend not bothering, unless you have time to waste.
Apart from one or two veteran actors who play antagonists, the acting is mostly cringeworthy and very "school play". There are some decent VFX and a surprising amount of gore, given how insipidly it all starts out. The writing is nothing special, and in a way irritating, in that the overuse of contemporary colloquialisms sticks out like a sore thumb, in what you might expect to be closer to a period fantasy drama. If you can imagine Dame Maggie Smith dropping roadman slang in Downton Abbey, that would come close to how this feels.
There is some vague character development, I suppose, and it's fairly easy to see how it's set up for a second season, but somehow, you come away from Season 1 feeling like you've watched some weird cross between Twilight and Shrek, with an impoverished and thinly-stretched Arthurian overlay. Thank goodness for the presence of a Skarsgård brother, who carries much of the season, despite having comparatively little screen time. Ultimately, it's just difficult to really care about any of the characters.
Some have complained about "diversity gone mad", due to some of the casting choices. To that, I would say: get over yourselves. It's fantasy, we already had actors of colour back in 2008's "Merlin" (which was vastly more entertaining), and we also had people of colour in Roman Britain, which is when these myths are set.
That's not the problem. The problem is just the almost overwhelming blandness of it all.
Game of Thrones: The Last of the Starks (2019)
D(umb)&D(umber)
Thanks a lot, D&D. I'm now only watching the next two episodes because I've watched everything else since S1E1, so I may as well see it through to the end. If this cavalier, perfunctory, cheap-thrills attitude towards writing had been in evidence from the beginning, I wouldn't have started in the first place.
The cast are making the best of a bad job, so credit where credit's due. I'm only hoping the final two episodes are decent. Not even anything special, just decent. As the episodes thus far this season have been an insult not just to the intelligence of the show's fans, but to the talent of George R. R. Martin, as well.
The cast and the visuals crew have extracted two stars from me. If I were to submit a rating based exclusively on the writing, it would be in negative territory.
Shame. Shame. Shame. (ding-ding-ding)
Inhumans (2017)
Tragic
This is a shame.
So much more could've been done, in terms of the quality of the writing, and in terms of character development and story dynamics. It just all comes across as insipid.
Die-hard fans might enjoy seeing their Inhuman heroes on the screen, but there's very, very little substance here. Serinda Swan (Medusa) gives a reasonably nuanced dramatic performance, but that's as far as it goes. In this iteration of the lunar royal family, the elemental magic-user, Crystal, is a trust-fund valley girl, Karnak and Gorgon are Laurel and Hardy, and the antagonist, Maximus, is played by Ramsay Bolton, who is in turn played by Iwan Rheon, who manages to betray the occasional glimpse of emotional content.
The only impressive part of this one-season wonder is Anson Mount's (Black Bolt) phenomenal dedication in creating a new sign language (loosely based on ASL) for his character. We aren't even treated to much in the way of power displays, as, with the exception of Lockjaw, you can literally count on one hand the number of times they use their powers in the entire season. If you're going to dial back the fireworks, then at least make sure the storytelling is up to scratch. It isn't.
If you're a Marvel fan, then watch this by all means, so you've filled your quota...but you'll be missing very little if you don't. For me, this ranks alongside Iron Fist as the worst on-screen production to bear Marvel's name.
Inhumans: Behold... The Inhumans (2017)
Tepid
As far as pilots go, I found this lukewarm at best. The few familiar faces in the ensemble cast (Swan, Leung, Rheon) didn't do much to elevate this episode much above the pedestrian, unfortunately.
Action? Nothing much to speak of. Plot/intrigue? Rudimentary. Writing/dialogue? A catalogue of "You-should-have-been-mine" and "How-very-dare-you" clichés. CGI/FX? Embarrassing. Queen Medusa's hair looks like it was copied and pasted from Jessica in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", Gorgon's hooves look like he picked up some theater prop hairy pants at the dollar store, Iwan Rheon stars as Ramsay Bolton starring as Maximus and proceeds to "Reek" the entire population of Attilan, and our parting impression of the mighty Black Bolt is essentially as a mute in a suit, and a hapless one at that. Lockjaw is the Royal Family's teleporter, but serves mainly as comic relief.
Being a fan of Marvel doesn't save this from being dead in the water. It feels like various studio execs are simply milking Marvel for all it's worth, adapting any team or hero possible to the screen in order to turn a profit, with scant regard for their craft. I'll slog through this season, but with exceedingly low expectations, and am unsurprised to learn that it never made it to a Season 2.
The Gifted: X-roads (2018)
Only just above average
So I've seen the first season, and read the reviews here. I understand a lot of the disappointment. The only way I can explain it on the plot side is that the perpetual back and forth and wishy-washyness is a throwback to one of the central themes in the X-Men comics: not the existence or nature of evil, which is a given, but how to face up to it, and how to confront it in ourselves.
This explains the tension we see on screen and the gradual splitting of the team once the Stepford Cuckoos show up, and is of course a throwback to the comics' tension between the divergent approaches of Charles Xavier and Magneto and their respective teams (although here we have a sort of neo-Brotherhood/neo-Hellfire Club hybrid).
Essentially it's a meditation on human nature in adversity, specifically, on pacifism versus militantism, with the government agencies as antagonists only there to bring the two approaches into sharper focus (both Agent Turner and Dr. Campbell have their own tragic backstories, so it's hard to see them as classic villains).
I don't think the writers did a particularly good job of making the theme clear, although there are obvious nods to ever-current themes of ostracism, prejudice, police violence, and distrust of government.
Some of the more established actors put in some solid performances despite an insipid script, and it's nice to see an ensemble cast portraying several recognisable mutants with decent VFX, but there's very little in the way of depth or nuance otherwise, and it's a shame.
The Gifted: outfoX (2017)
Huh?
I'm not sure why they're so underpowered. In the comics, any one of the mutants could have taken out literally all the agents singlehandedly. Instead, we get a rag-tag group of nerfdom.
Decent dramatic performances from some of the older cast, but the younger ones fail to impress. I hope this gets better.
The Gifted (2017)
I'm torn.
I'm a big fan of Marvel, but that seems to be limited to the comics. Although it's been nice to see characters brought to life on the big screen (Avengers and X-Men franchises) and little screen (Legion), I don't feel the original characters, story arcs or themes have been done much justice. For me, "The Gifted" joins the catwalk of meh.
Here again, it's great to see characters one is familiar with from the comics in a live action setting (Polaris, Blink, Dreamer, Thunderbird, Fenris), even characters invented for the series (but which are still inspired by characters from the comics, such as Eclipse). It's nice to see the involvement and investment in the series of so many big creative names from Marvel (including the now time-honoured cameos from the late great Stan Lee)...and yet.
Fanboy reactions aside, to be honest, the script/dialogue sucks. It sounds like it was written by a high school student, which is fine for conveying that post-millennial vibe, but makes it nearly devoid of depth, intricacy, or nuance. Some of the veteran cast put in some arresting performances (Coby Bell, Frances Turner, Stephen Moyer), but the others fail to make you care for their characters, so for the most part, you end up tolerating the basic plot and insipid dialogue, while waiting for the next display of CGI superpowers.
On the little screen, "Legion", although only loosely based on David Haller of the comics, was still well-acted, and above all intriguingly, very creatively produced, and can be appreciated by fans, or even as a standalone, on its own merits. "The Gifted" so far (two-thirds through Season 1) isn't up to the mark, sadly.
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
Bland and disappointing
I'm a big fan of the X-Men, but that's limited to the comics, as I find the films have largely failed to do the characters and plots/story arcs any justice. "X-Men: Age of Apocalypse" is no exception.
The dialogue is cringe-inducing. The characters are flat and their portrayals are shallow at best, which is a shame, given the acting credentials of those involved. At times, the film even seems disjointed, making it feel more like a 2 1/2 hour trailer.
The only redeeming features, to me, were some of the action sequences. Quicksilver, in particular, was amusing, and lent some levity to the otherwise pretty boring proceedings.
In brief, I'm glad I watched this via online free streaming, as I wouldn't pay money to see it in a cinema, to buy the DVD, or even to contribute to it via any sort of subscription.
Noah (2014)
Kill Me Now
This could be amusing for kids of the right age. You know: not so young as to be traumatised by a bit of blood and CGI guts, and not so old as to be particularly discerning or critical.
Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly hold this production up, in the manner of a limbo bar held so close to the ground that you may as well give up.
Planetary genocide is not the breeziest of settings, yet here we are, watching millennial acting talent ham it up. It's a shame said talent don't do much more than look pretty, and run around with their mouths open.
A brief scene of passion between one of Noah's sons, Shem (Douglas Booth), and his adoptive daughter, Ila (Emma Watson), has all the tender fierceness of last night's leftover meatloaf. When Ila later falls pregnant and, in the heat of a family feud, her waters break and splash onto the floor, Watson merely looks like she's dropped a packet of crisps.
This could be seen as a 21st century "Never-ending Story" type of offering, with the semi-epic look and the fantastical and predictably servile supporting creatures--but given the original story material, the conclusion can only be a "God is good" sort of proselytism, which is bad enough when you don't have to pay for it.
Angels & Demons (2009)
Idiotic. Best left in the arrivals lounge rubbish bin.
And I say that with disbelief fully suspended.
This is what happens when you try to convert a reasonable page-turner into something without pages: over two hours' worth of escape room antics, laced with conspiracy theory, characters that are as unlikely as they are uninteresting, and dodgy science, the whole of it cobbled together in Europe and surrounded with plenty of non-English dialogue, to lend it an air of what some audiences presumably think passes for old world culture and sophistication.
There's a reason why Dan Brown's stuff is often classified as "airport fiction": you pick it up somewhere before departure, flick through it while waiting and in-flight, finish off around arrivals, and then throw it in the trash. This film is a pleasantly faithful adaptation of that concept.
Tom Hanks plays a shouty American academic-turned-sleuth (basically a flabbier Indiana Jones with more belly and less khaki), his cardboard cut-out, vaguely Southern European sidekick trails in his wake, echoing his leaps of intuition (when she isn't staring at some undisclosed point off-screen), mostly woodenly but sometimes in a foreign language, because that's more authentic than a shouty American, and the rest of the reasonably good cast spend most of the time gurning.
The only halfway interesting performance is from Nikolaj Lie Kaas, which is why I'm giving this 3 stars, instead of the minimum of 1 star necessary to be able to leave a review.
Iron Fist: Lead Horse Back to Stable (2017)
Appalling
I'm watching Iron Fist mainly because I'm a fan of Marvel, and enjoyed Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage. Iron Fist is what I'd consider the let-down of the four, and it seems to come to a head in this episode.
The atmosphere is rudimentary, the script is pedestrian, and the acting is appalling. Antagonist "Bakuto" only expresses gravitas and authority in shouting and glowering, Davos and Colleen are as two-dimensional as cut- out stock characters, Meacham as bad guy is bordering on camp, and the Iron Fist himself behaves like a spoilt emo trust fund brat who's suffering an ongoing dissociative and obsessive-compulsive episode.
I give this three stars: one, out of Marvel loyalty; the second, for the actress playing Joy Meacham, who at least performs like she's a professional and not in some am-dram production; and the third for Rosario Dawson, who lifts the episode out of the muck (well it's still in the muck - just not as deep), and who can convey more feeling, depth, and insight in an instant's single raised eyebrow than most of the cast can in 45 minutes.
Outcast (2016)
Well worth it - hope it continues
I found this via the Recommended For You list on my Netflix, possibly because I watched The Walking Dead, and Outcast comes from the same writer. It had me hooked from the start, and in a better way than TWD.
Outcast features one of the creepiest soundtracks I've heard in some time, and is situated (in cinematographic terms) firmly in the realm of the southern Gothic. The cast features no "big names", which makes for a welcome change and adds some realism to proceedings. "Gritty" is one word that could describe it. "Chilling" and "riveting" ate others. The only actor I recognised was the Reverend, and nearly didn't recognise him, as he is English but putting on an impressive southern US accent. Also worth mentioning are some star performances from the junior cast members, which serve to make viewing pretty harrowing too.
In response to some comments here claiming Outcast is "pro-Satanic propaganda", I would say see for yourself, and you'll realise how idiotic that statement is. In Outcast, the concept of demonic possession is simply a metaphor for domestic abuse, whether within the spousal unit, or from parent to child. In that sense, I think it's quite a clever portrayal of a widespread but rarely discussed social problem.
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Somewhat disappointed
I'm a big fan of Marvel and have seen the other Avengers titles, and so I went into this one with certain expectations. They weren't met.
As opposed to earlier installments, barely a few minutes seem to pass in AoU without one of the characters making what is supposed to be an amusing, throwaway remark/one-liner. There's nothing wrong with injecting a little levity into the proceedings, but in this case, I found it excessive, and detrimental both to the flow of action and to the characters and how you engage. Wisecracking is usually one character's responsibility, specifically to provide comic relief. When all the characters are doing it, it gets tired very quickly.
I found the plot to be a bit messy, perhaps because I'm a comics purist, and the introduction and treatment of several new characters here is only tangentially related, if even that, to their actual origin stories as per the comics. With apologies to James Spader, I found the portrayal of Ultron in particular to be bordering on the ridiculous, and inappropriately "human", as in my imaginings, Ultron was always more of a Terminator-style killing machine with tyrannical tendencies, whereas we're presented here with more of a lovable but psychotic rogue with as much dangerous charm as he has nuts and bolts. The whole effort seems to be held together by an abundance of action, new characters, and cameos from previous characters (Samuel L. Jackson, or Idris Elba) to distract from the general lack of substance.
All in all, it was 2+ hours that I don't totally regret spending, but would not see it again, or recommend it - unless it's just for the voyeuristic pleasure of seeing your favourite eye-candy protagonists in biker leathers and latex.
The Ouija Experiment (2011)
I don't understand
I saw this via Netflix, on the off-chance it could be good for a few cheap thrills. I'm now wondering why people do this, and whether the whole thing is some sort of satire of the paranormal and of horror films in general, as even with Herculean suspension of disbelief, the film barely rises above the level of disappointing.
The plot is simple (as in 'simpleton'), the script exceeds the acting in terms of amateurish mediocrity, the atmosphere is cartoonish, and the effects are on a par with something out of high school extracurricular drama classes. I didn't check this production's budget, but 'shoestring' comes to mind.
I've given this 2 stars instead of 1, because it's not unimaginable that some people could derive pleasure from the occasional fright that announces itself several minutes in advance. Other than that, I'd call this a complete waste of time.
Under the Dome (2013)
Agonising
This was sorely disappointing. The pacing and script are tortuously slow and long-winded.
Characterization is weak to the point that not a single character is likable enough to get you caring about their fate.The acting is mediocre and hammy. Only the SFX related to the dome were pretty well done in season one, but by season three it's difficult to care any more.
This production has the collaboration of both Stephen King and Stephen Spielberg, which possibly explains the decent rating this has achieved here and elsewhere, but it does neither of them justice. Your time would be better spent elsewhere.
The Deep End (2001)
A little gem
The premise seems so unlikely that it may raise a few eyebrows, so some early suspension of disbelief is called for. In particular, one has to wonder what state of mind the protagonist must be in, to make some of the decisions she does. But then, "The Deep End" is less about the premise, subsequent events, or plot devices, and more about strength, bonds and love, that are often at their loudest and most poignant when unspoken. This film's message can be found in its quiet spaces, for those who know how to listen. A strong and different type of performance from Tilda Swinton, with perfectly-pitched supporting shows from Goran Visnjic and Jonathan Tucker. Minor characters are fairly two-dimensional, and so hammy that it's verging on camp, but they only serve as vehicles to emphasize traits of the main characters or to convey a certain atmosphere, and this does not overly detract from the message, or from one's enjoyment of the film. Worth a detour.
ATM (2012)
Horrific
To be fair, I saw this after a season of Hannibal, so "ATM" was up against some fairly stiff competition, which it met flaccidly, at best.
I've seen that this was apparently made on a $3m budget (and it shows), so perhaps my criticism should take that into account. Nonetheless, I kept thinking this film was a comedy-satire and waiting for the signs of that genre, to no avail.
The plot is simplistic bordering on simple-minded, with any semblance of suspense barely managing to limp along in the background. Guys, it's possible to squeeze cheap thrills out of a shoe-string budget, as the Halloween and Friday the 13th franchises have shown. The dialogue is so poor that at several points I had the impression the actors (I use the term loosely) were ad-libbing, and the characters they portray are correspondingly flat, unsympathetic and forgettable, such that you find yourself hoping that the bad guy hurries up and dispatches them all with his crowbar, to put the viewers out of their misery.
The cinematography is minimalist. At least, I assume that was the desired effect. It actually just looks amateurish and static, as though the camera crew is frozen to the spot by the same sub-zero temperatures they contrive to have us believe the characters are suffering.
Perhaps if the producers understood suspension of disbelief as a courtesy the viewer extends to them, and not as an infinitely exploitable resource that compensates for an offering that can only be described as anemic, then I'd be inclined to be more lenient. As it stands, "ATM" is trite, poorly done by everyone, and ultimately either disappointing or insulting, depending on how low your standards are.
The Conjuring (2013)
Glad I watched this!
This was a treat.
A real classic of the haunted house/demonic possession genres. It has been said that it compares to "The Exorcist" and "The Amityville Horror", which is not far off. For me, "The Conjuring" lacked some of the poignancy and depth of "The Exorcist", but for all that, it never descended into self-parody.
Not excessively gory, your nerves are nonetheless on edge throughout, as early as 15 minutes into the film. Solid performances all round, good pacing, some nice cinematography, and a horribly effective soundtrack all help to deliver the goods. To be watched alone in a dark house!