NickGepetto Reviews

JFK X: Solving the Crime of the Century (2023)

Negative 100 if I could rate it

[1/10 · 23 April 2024]

Let me save you an hour of your life: This rediculous "documentary" claims that JFK wasn't shot but actually applied a "squib" to the side of his head. A squib is a special effects movie prop that simulates a bullet hitting a body. It's so absurd, devoid of any proof or documentation and just shows the Zapruder film over and over and over trying to convince us that what we're seeing is JFK applying the squib to his head, it going off simulating a gun shot, JFK then falling into a secret compartment in the trunk of the limo, Jackie O reaching back to retrieve part of the squib (evidence!) and the fact that J. D. Tippit was not actually shot by Lee Oswald but was killed earlier and his body used in the "fake" autopsy of JFK. Supposedly J. D. Tippit resembled JFK but I see little resemblance other than that they were both men. Yes, that's it folks. The worst documentary I've ever seen. -100 rating.

Due Justice (2023)

Absolute Trash

[1/10 · 11 March 2024]

As bad as it gets. Disjointed, amateur actors, non existent script. Flips around to different time periods. So confusing and silly. The casting is just so bizarre. It's so bad it's surreal. The detective on the case is so poorly cast. And you will have no idea what he's doing. It's difficult to find the number of pejoratives I need to fill this review and get it published. Nothing is clear as far as who the main characters are or why they do what they do. Most things they do are just to move the silly inconsequential plot along. Just so bad. I will say it's pretty well filmed which is a true waste of money and video tape. I really wonder what the producers were thinking in funding this nonsense. I also blame Comcast for streaming this junk. I think this review is long enough to get published. Yeah! Please do me a solid and don't watch this. Picking the lint out of your ear is far more exciting.

Panama (I) (2022)

Funniest. Reviews. Ever. I luv IMDB

[1/10 · 11 January 2023]

The IMDB reviews of Panama are so exquisitely funny, I had to take a break from reading them because my side hurt so much from laughing. This movie uses every trope and cliche it can muster from the Van Damme, Brian Bosworth and Dolph Lundgren discard pile. Other commenters have noted the shaky cam. Words can't describe the shaking going on. It's like "1962 grandpa with his Hi-8 filming his kids first recital from the back row" shaky. How is that possible in 2022 when steady cam rigs were developed in 2006 and are about $5,000 to buy on-line? The fight scenes are so very very bad. Soldiers shoot from the hit and swing back and forth as they "spray" bullets. I strongly suggest you read all the 1 star reviews as they are precious. I'll leave with one last comment on how cheap and dumb this movie is. In one of the scenes, the commander idiot asks Cole "Do yew lyke rawk an rowwel?" Cole says, "well shucks. I prefer Willy Nelson ma'self." Commander: "Well, we will change your mind!" and screams, "Welcome to the Jungle!" THEN a cigar chomping, smoke spewing lackey pulls a 1980's boom box out of nowhere and plays Guns and Roses, right? Not a chance, my friend. No sir. Not in this cheapo Schlockfest! When lackey hits the play button, only some really low rent cheapy guitar licks for you. Then the commander do what he do holding his AK to his side and swivels back and forth spraying bullets at the bad guys. Of course, the bad guys oblige by running directly into the bullets. It's truly surreal. Commander then plays a guitar lick on his gun in the middle of the firefight. And this is all in the first 20 minutes. Frightfully bad, cheap, dumb, cliche, unentertaining, and above all, nauseating!

The Stalker (III) (2020)

Did not enjoy this experience

[1/10 · 9 January 2023]

If you're looking for a terrible use of your time then The Stalker is the way to go. I recently watched this movie and to put it plainly, it was like watching a lion run. A totally bad experience.

Directed by John Giorgio and starring Virginia Vogt & Jimmy Ace Lewis, The Stalker told a completely boring story.

The Stalker is a Horror movie about characters who embark on a journey of Grief & Death & Fear. Despite the obstacles, big and small, the characters in the movie, as well as the viewers, still meet a terrible end. The performances from Virginia Vogt & Jimmy Ace Lewis illustrate the narrative of this movie with such a viable effort. Consequently, this film ended up being as poor as it is.

The Stalker intertwined visuals, audio, and plot in a very bad way.

It was as if John Giorgio combined the characters, the setting, and the valued objects within the film and then threw them into a mixing bowl to create a giant serving of terrible apple. As a viewer, chewing and pondering on the quality of my apple, I couldn't help but think about how sour it tasted. The flavors of the film blended so terribly that I considered getting a lion for emotional support!

Overall, I found The Stalker to be bad, boring, and poor. It is a terrible plate of apple, seasoned with the theme of Grief & Death & Horror & Fear, and is sure to leave you with a lingering sour taste in your mouth.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

DO NOT believe the hype

[1/10 · 9 November 2022]

WOW. Just wow. Hard to even begin. I'm a HUGE Christopher Guest fan. I have seen all of his movies multiple times and own most of them. Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, Mighty Wind, etc. All of these and many more Guest movies are masterpieces. But Spinal Tap? Wow. I saw it in 1985 a year after it came out. To watch it again, I gathered several film buffs I watch movies with. Many are Guest fans also. I also brought in the family. Spinal Tap is the following: stupid, poorly written, replete with horrible timing, full of unnecessarily foul language and highly unentertaining. It is also very, very slow. Here's how it tries to get laughs: One of the characters is dressed in some funny way (big suspenders, etc) and says something unexpected. Then there is an edited pause. You're supposed to fill in the pause with raucous laughter. Except its not funny. So there's just silence. Long pauses where we all looked at each other. Every person watching at one point said out loud, "Was that supposed to be funny? It was stupid" and that is the absolute best way to sum up this overhyped, lazy, boring, crass, unfunny movie. Watch ANYTHING else by Guest. My favorite is Best in Show but there are many great choices.

Calm Like a Bomb (2021)

As bad as it gets.

[1/10 · 24 July 2022]

Just finished watching. What is wrong with me? If I was thinking straight, I could have been picking the lint out of the corner of my big toe. Oh well. Movie is so stupid. It's a pretentious bore fest. If you edited out the multiple repeated endless ongoing non-stop shots of the bad guys getting hammered in bar, pointless side shots of women's upper thighs and bosoms, 6-frame indecipherable flashbacks and the "good guy" boyfriend walking (and walking and walking), the movie would be eight minutes TOPS. But I said bosoms so it must be worth a look, right? Good luck, my amorous friend. Everything is shot so darkly and so cheaply that you can barely make out any images. And the movie editing is nothing but nonsensical jump cuts and dark images so there's that.

So let me save you 83 minutes of your precious life: A girl gets followed off a train by three bad guys. Even though she's being followed and there are people that she can run to for help, she inexplicably runs into a dark abandoned building (think the front lady always tripping in Friday the 13th movies). They catch her, "have their way with her" but don't kill her. But somehow there are shots of a grave that the boyfriend keeps visiting. Is it the girlfriend? His mother? Entire family? We don't know if, how or when the girlfriend died. The three bad guys walked away when they were done and she was alive. Did she kill herself later? Sure would be nice to know. Anyways, the "good guy" boyfriend tracks down all three bad guys and kills them. Boring, long tedious shots. For example, it takes the boyfriend SIX MINUTES to walk through a small men's bathroom to shoot one of the bad guys. Even worse, he shoots the 300 pound bad guy last. Shoots him three times and it looks like he's dead. BUT THEN the boyfriend somehow drags the guy up to where the three bad guys assaulted the girl ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN so he can finish him off there. What? How did he get the 300 pound bleeding bad guy there? On his back? After finishing off the last bad guy, the boyfriend walks to a riverbed we haven't seen before and shoots himself. The end? Oh, I so wish my friend. After the boyfriend shoots himself, there is an end still shot from hades. FOR THREE FULL MINUTES, It's just him lying there. Oh, so deep and poignant. Not!

I can't describe in words how poor and pretentious (yes, I said it again) this movie is. One of the worst I've seen in many years. Truly a waste of the iPhone 7 hard drive space this excruciating movie was shot and edited on.

Middle Men (2009)

True Gem and way underrated

[10/10 · 24 July 2022]

It's not perfect but exceptionally well done movie. Highly entertaining and very well cast. Luke Wilson and the 23 year old porn star lady were great. It's upsetting to see so many bad reviews as this movie is pure entertainment. Well filmed, well written, excellent moral component, emphasis on the beauty of family, and highly engaging from beginning to end. It's very adult oriented and I would consider it a very hard R rating but if you're an adult and looking for just a great movie to pass the time, watch it. Well done.

Vengeance: A Love Story (2017)

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

[1/10 · 10 July 2022]

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? So WHY did I write "Why?" so many times? Because this is the number of times I asked myself the question during the viewing of this ridiculous, dumb and dismal movie. This movie was produced by Cage who should have been directly involved with casting. So why did he cast so many unimaginably poor actors and actresses? The mother of the victim is played by Deborah Kara Unger. She is just 19 years older than than her daughter in the movie. Possible but unrealistic. But why was she cast? After years of extensive plastic surgery, she has a fully deformed face and upper lip. I thought that her deformities were going to play into the plot but they didn't. She is such a poor actress and because of her upper lip is barely able to sound words. You will need close captioning to understand her. There are just so many poor casting choices other than this woman. The parents of the main bad guy are so absurd and ridiculous, there is no chance they have acted in anything else. The way they deliver their lines (especially the mother) are so stupid, so poor and so over the top you will actually wonder if they are acting in a different movie. So many lines and scenes are so very cringy. It was truly a painful experience. The plot holes are beyond massive. The set up, execution and movie conclusion are just so bad. Why are the violent scenes so long and drawn out? WHY would Cage cast these inexperienced and truly atrocious actors and actresses? Why would he allow this movie to be edited so poorly and be so bad. And finally, WHY was this movie ever released? One of the worst i have ever seen.

Griefwalker (2008)

What a load of garbage and BS

[1/10 · 6 July 2022]

I always like to listen to all sides of any issue or discussion. This fakeumentary and ramblings of self proclaimed "Expert on Death(r)" Stephen Jenkinson just made my blood boil. I thought it was going to be something monumental so I watched it with 10 people from all different beliefs and ages. Within 15 minutes, we were pausing the video to discuss what he said and many times truly rolling with laughter. Stephen Jenkinson just speaks in generalities and "advanced speak" where you are supposed to say, "Oh, that's just so deep. I'm not sure what he said but I'm sure if I was smarter, I'd think it was great." He talks about his children dying and how he's not going to be there to see them trough. And? Is that deep? No. It's common sense. Pure unadulterated drivel and double speak. I strongly suggest you watch it just for the laughs!

Me Familia 2 (2021)

Worst "movie" i've ever seen

[1/10 · 21 January 2022]

This is the worst "movie" i've ever seen. I put "movie" in quotes because it's not really a movie. It's a collection of unrelated, extremely poorly filmed, extremely poorly edited segments strung together. I'm a bad movie aficionado and this is the worst ever - by a long shot. Me Familia 1 was super bad but this one still upsets me even after the four month since i've seen it.

No writing, no acting, beyond absurd "plot", beyond absurd "special effects." Such a profoundly painful experience. I strongly suggest you not watch it. Matter of fact, picking the lint out of corner of your big toenail would be a far more enjoyable experience.

Come to Daddy (2019)

First 1/3rd was magical and then . . .

[1/10 · 17 August 2021]

Very entertaining open and setting the stage for what's to come. Then it just becomes a stupid, absurd wanna-be "cult classic." Physical things happen that defy physics, people react to things in ways no one with a pulse every would, people do things that not only make no logical sense but are just there to propel the stupid plot. Wow. I was so excited after the first 1/3rd and so sickened by the remaining 2/3rds. If you are the type of movie watcher who likes to suspend all your knowledge of how the human mind and the world of physics work, then enjoy!

Bad Break (2018)

This isn't even a movie

[1/10 · 12 March 2021]

Why oh why does Amazon Prime Video have to scrape the sludge at the bottom of the barrel in order to fill up its movie offering quota? This is not a movie. It's a filmed series of unscripted interactions between low IQ non-actors. I don't care if it's low budget. There are thousands of excellent low budget films. This is incoherent beyond recognition. I could write pages on all the absurdities and just outright mistakes. Things happen that make no sense in almost every scene. As just one example: The first dummy on screen (Dummy 1) is in a hotel room. He calls Dummy 2 and frantically tells him to meet at a payphone at a certain address. When Dummy 2 walks by a hotel on his way to the agreed meeting place, Dummy 1 wraps a gun in a bath towel and throws it out the window next to Dummy 2. The beginning of the movie so you say, "Interesting. I wonder where this is leading? Was that the murder weapon to a murder we will very soon be introduced to? I can't wait to find out." Surprise! There is actually no reason for this whatsoever. When the towel wrapped gun hits the ground, Dummy 2 looks at it. Casually kicks it. Doesn't pick it up. He somehow 'knows' it was Dummy 1 who threw it out the hotel window (even though there is no indication of this). But Dummy 1 is waiting for him at a payphone, right? Stop thinking, you intelligent viewer. Dummy 2 also somehow 'knows' the EXACT floor and hotel room number Dummy 1 is in even though he was never informed. So he goes to the exact room where Dummy 1 is holed up. How did he know his location? He didn't. It's just one of hundreds of incoherent, unplanned, unscripted idiocies we will be presented with if we dare to continue watching. So Dummy 2 goes in the hotel room and, will you look at that - the gun that was just wrapped in a towel and thrown on the sidewalk (and is still supposed to be sitting on the sidewalk) is now sitting on a desk in the hotel room. See what I mean? Then there's this morbidly obese horror show of a disgusting man we will call Dummy 3 but who's known as "Fridge" in real life. He's the low-rent hitman.

There's no script and all was clearly improvised by untrained, untalented, unintelligent, dense people. They repeat lines constantly and do the "I'll raise my voice and say the F-word to show how street I am" every few minutes.

I have no problem with these losers putting this all on video. My guess is they are not successful in their factory-line assembly jobs and to tell others that they "Wrote, Directed, & Produced a Real Hollywood Movie" would be a huge deal for them. My problem is with Amazon Prime Video for adding this non-movie to their "Crime" movie section.

The Offence (1973)

The Offense and Marnie

[10/10 · 1 July 2020]

OK. Amazing movie on so many fronts. But you already know that. Do yourself huge favor like I did. 1) Watch Marnie starring Sean and Tippi Hedron. No distractions. Full attention, especially to Sean's character dev't, acting and demeanor. 2) A few days later, watch The Offense. Again, no distractions. Observe this amazing actor Sean Connery. Reflect on the similarities between these two characters and their personalities.

You will very much enjoy this exercise.

The Hard Way (2019)

One of the worst ever

[1/10 · 20 June 2020]

Just like most other reviews say: Boring, confusing, poorly written, stupid, dumb, cliche, derivative, and super bad. Virtually nothing explained, nobody does anything a normal person would and zero character development or explanation. I'm a bad movie connoisseur and love to mix glasses of bourbon with mindless violent bloody movie BUT seriously: Skip this one. A total and disgusting waste Of money and opportunity. Please trust me.

Dragged Across Concrete (2018)

2019 IMDB Most Fake Reviews Award goes too . . .

[1/10 · 28 October 2019]

This movie is garbage. Of this there is no doubt. Feel free to read the correct 1-Star reviews for more details. These include: Dialog that no living person in any situation would ever say, The actors providing boring and constant % probabilities of outcomes with no basis to do so, Side plots that are both jarring and useless at the same time, and ZERO entertainment. BUT Dragged Across Concrete does win one major award:

The 2019 Most Fake Reviews Award. BRAVO!

Of the 372 current reviews, 151 of them are 8-Star and above (59-8's, 48-9s, and a whopping 44-10s!). This is 40% 8-Star and above for a movie that is, by anyone's standards, garbage. It made less than $700K worldwide on a $15MM budget.

IMDB: You should be ashamed allowing so many shills to run up this rating. Do you have any system to curtail this? Apparently not.

Natural Vice (2018)

Bizarre movie - In a bad way.

[1/10 · 9 September 2019]

Watching this was one of the stranger movie experiences of my movie watching career. The first scene is very cool and futuristic. Think Minority Report. I mean super clean open, especially for a cheap Indie. Even after this scene there seems to be a flow. But this is all in the first 10 minutes. After this. it's all downhill and nothing but dumb trash. So much of the dialog is improvised and the actors are so inexperienced. There is an easy way to tell when inexperienced actors are improvising. They get unnaturally animated to make their point and "sell" their just thought up lines. This movie has bucket loads of this. In addition, there are many clichés throughout. One that is all over this movie: In reduced-rate acting school (think: Night acting classes taught above the 7-11 in downtown St. Paul) they teach a few things. One is to stare at a phone for a really long time after a call has ended. Just stare. It brings "depth" to the scene. Another (and this is a weird one) is to lick the tips of one's fingers when eating anything. They are taught to suck the tips of their fingers when eating. They also tilt their head a little. I have seen this cliché for 50 years. At the end of sucking the tips of their fingers, they make a sharp sucking noise with their mouth - like a snap. It's a true hallmark of a super bad actor and this movie has plenty to go around. So anyways, back to the movie. The main super bad, super cheap actor is supposedly a 50 million a year distributor of MDX - a type of molly. He has a gang of four other bargain basement actors. One that looks like a mongoloid Tony Robbins with a rare communicable disease. In the first drug deal we see them make, they go to a huge party, meet with the "Russians," sell them a bag of drugs, receive an electronic money transfer, and then the bad Russians pull the transfer back. Great bank you got there Mr. lead actor! So their response? They go back into this LA house on a busy street with a full party going on and SHOOT AND KILL 8 people. So imagine that. Many witnesses still alive, LA county detectives will be there in 20 minutes, the country and the world will know all details within an hour. So what happens to them? What do we hear about it? NOTHING. So many levels beyond horrific scriptwriting. Next they inexplicably fly to Hong Kong to tell a dealer who ripped them off they are no longer doing biz with him. That's it! -- Five guys fly LA to Hong Kong on a private jet for the SOLE purpose of the lead super bad actor telling the head Hong Kong dealer "face to face" that they are done doing biz - "cuz that's the way I do business." No effort to get the money back that the Hong Kong dealer stole. Nothing. So head Hong Kong dealer tries to shoot super bad lead actor but super bad lead actor kills head Hong Kong dealer instead. Then the head Hong Kong dealer's brother finds out. And he and his very morbidly obese sister and their team of cliché "Yakuza" bad guys fly to LA for "revenge." But they don't kill the lead super bad lead actor. They kidnap his incredibly average looking girlfriend and challenge super bad lead actor to a (I'm not making this up) 5-on-5 fight to the death. Oh, how I wish I was making this up.

Overall: It's hard to describe how stupid this movie is. So much of the movie consists of these improvised "stories" that the actors inexplicably tell each other. Zero purpose. Special effects in the movie range from "Avengers: Endgame" quality in certain scenes to "iMovie for Mac - 2001 version." So very bizarre. It's always sad to see movies like this because I think of the money being wasted here instead of for a real quality Indie like "Favor." Some of the set design, lighting and cinematography in this movie are exceptional. But this is mixed with horrific writing, terrible acting, cliche finger-sucking, and other garbage to create a truly forgettable video. A bizarre experience and a waste of money.

We Die Young (2019)

Oscar Winner for Most Fake Reviews. See below-

[1/10 · 6 August 2019]

26 of the 57 reviews are 8, 9 or 10 stars. It's so surprising to me how IMDB allows trash like this to be padded with obviously fake reviews. Most are laughable. Here's an example of the absurdity. An actual 10 star review IMDB: --------------------------------- 10/10 REVIEW TITLE: Not bad irina_galaxy3 March 2019 Only giving it 10 stars because David Castaneda was really good. Not bad overall, you can tell that the budget was 10 bucks though. ------------------------------------- So Ms. Irina Galaxy (her real name, I assure you) gave a 10 star review titled "Not Bad."

So what about the movie? O M G. Really terrible on all levels. Why? Let's start with JCVD. He plays a soldier suffering from extreme PTSD. OK. Is that it? No. This soldier also got shot in the throat. So what? So that means that JCVD is mute for the entire picture. A few grunts but he doesn't say a word. Is that all? No. From JCVD's years of cocaine, smoking, drinking and stress, his face has transformed from a guy so handsome you may want to switch sides to a dried apple doll that you find in the corner of a Cracker Barrel Kuntry Store. The main character is played by a muncher named David Castaneda. With his droopy eyes, he looks like a low-rent latino Forest Whitaker and his fake tattoos are ridiculous. His style of "method acting" is to stare at the person he is talking to or the object he is in front of for a long, long time. I think it's supposed to express his "depth" but after the 50th time you will be asking "WTF are you starring at?" There is no character development on the kids. Do they have parents? They don't? So they live in D.C. on their own? And don't go to school? Yeah, no. Truant and social services (Washington D.C. has the 3rd largest in the nation after LA and NYC) would be all over them within a week. So are they constantly running from the truant officer making up an interesting and engaging aspect of the plot? Nope as this would require thought and intelligent writing which this movie does not possess.

Definitely not worth the time to watch even if you are hardcore JCVD fan. Just watch Bloodsport again and you'll be happy.

Wasted Talent (2018)

Watching is a bizarre experience

[2/10 · 17 June 2019]

You would expect a documentary to provide a detailed story on the subject. This one does not. The guy who directed it (I can't call him a director) is a lug of a former NYC cop. He says that he's a former cop and the investors asked him to direct. Why? Does he have any experience except for being a former NYC cop? Is he now a professional filmmaker? There is no indication of this and after you see this think you will definitely say there is no indication of this. Every indication is that he is just a typical weight-lifting, poor communicator, meathead of a NYC cop.

Among the unanswered questions in this thing: What was Lillo convicted of? How many years did he spend in jail? Does he have a girlfriend? Has he even been married? What happened during the crime? Not brief info - WTF happened? What is a list of all the films he has been in? Is he working now? If so, on what? Not well done.

Traffic Stop (2017)

How about this idea?

[1/10 · 11 August 2018]

I just saw the film. Most of the important things about this "documentary" have already been said. Biased isn't the word. It's just a one-side opinion piece. Now how about this idea? How about when you get pulled over by a cop, you fully understand that the cop has a chip on his shoulder. He is probably not smart enough to do much else in life and probably got beat up on the playground. Now it's HIS time to be in power. So with this in mind, how about this idea? How about you do everything the cop tells you to do exactly as he tells you to do it knowing that if you touch the chip on his shoulder, it will not go well for you. I knew this as a white suburban boy at 10 years old. I've been pulled over many times and so have my black friends. **They do as they are told and there is never a problem.**

Bottom line: This lady brought 100% of these problems on herself. If she had done what she was told, she would be fine. I have zero idea how this lightweight opinion film was nominated for an Oscar.

Amy Schumer: The Leather Special (2017 TV Special)

Surprising Bad. Paid over $11,000,000.

[1/10 · 24 August 2017]

I like to watch Amy. I have seen every one of her specials and every TV episode. I think she is disgusting and crass but to me it's like rubbernecking past a highway crash. We keep looking as long as we can to maybe get a glimpse of gore. There is no gore here. As other reviewers have accurately detailed, this is a super unentertaining show on every imaginable level. I paused it at about the 40 minute mark thinking she was just getting warmed up. Unfortunately, it only had 12 minutes to go. Amy is dressed in a truly awful tight leather outfit. By the way, I don't care about fat or overweight or body type or whatever. I think all women are awesome no matter their shape or weight. But this outfit is just so distracting and misplaced. Was the outfit funny? No. Retro? No. Sexy? No. Flattering? No. It's just tight-fitting, very poorly designed, and bad. You'll have a hard time keeping your eyes on her face instead of her distended belly under the skin tight leather. OK, enough on the outfit already! The show is unlike any other performance of hers I have seen. The one word that came to mind as the credits rolled was "Lazy." This was exceedingly lazy writing and preparation, combined with an even more exceedingly lazy performance. She talks a lot about how bad her vagina smells and gives extreme details about her diarrhea. Her transitions between subjects are very stilted and unnatural. It was almost like she wanted to get to something important and was biding her time. And guess what? She was! Without warning, she made a hard transition from talking about how she has to make a "hand shelf" after her boyfriend does his "business" on her breasts (not funny, really poor delivery), to the two women who were shot and killed during a viewing of her movie "Train Wreck." She then spends an inordinate amount of time talking about restricting gun rights for certain classes of people. No problem with this. But she then gets into blind gun owners and other things where she seems to completely lose the audience. Tough to get back to humor after that but she tries - and fails. Then the show is over.

She was paid a minimum of $11,000,000 for the show and some say more. Wow. I suggest you watch it as it's interesting to see someone who was once so entertaining lose their mojo.

Altered Minds (2013)

WOW. What a find.

[10/10 · 5 August 2017]

I almost didn't watch this and passed it by on my On Demand options many times. You like amazingly acted thrillers? You like complete and intelligent story telling with excellent character development? You like nail biting drama with a severe and sharp cutting edge. Then watch this movie. It stars the criminally underutilized and underrated Judd Hirsch along with Ryan O'Nan and a stellar cast. Get your popcorn, grab your ice-cream and your sweetie, turn the lights low and watch without distraction. Why can't all movies be so entertaining and fulfilling?

The Crash (2017)

Creason? Seriously?

[2/10 · 3 June 2017]

The names of the characters in this movie are actually enough to make you mad. Let me explain. The movie is about the stock market. The top gov't lady has the last name Schwab. Yes, like in Charles E. Schwab. Is there a connection? No. The top gov't guy's last name is Del Banco. Enough said. But the most upsetting name is of the main character's daughter. Her name is "Creason." Yes, I spelled it right. Pronounced "KREE-son." At first i didn't know what they were referring to. I thought it was maybe a disease that one of the characters had. I googled it. No luck. I had to rewind the movie to understand. Creason. Her name was "Creason." I have a few additional awful names the writers should have considered: Lawper, Cealton, Vantava, Wiltor, Anclavia, Phopiah, and Kalcinda. But they chose Creason. Has there ever been a person with the name Creason?

The Condemned 2 (2015 Video)

In the Top 25 Of All Time Bad - Watch for Fun!

[1/10 · 9 February 2017]

Many of the other reviews here have done a great job of summing up how monumentally awful this movie is. To say it fails on every single level is old news. Nothing at all like Condemned which was a great movie. Condemned 2 virtually typifies many of the least entertaining things a movie can deliver. It's so far beyond bad. No one in the movie does anything a normal person would do. Not one. Randy "The Viper" just walks about shuffling his feet mumbling his lines putting inflection on all the wrong words. It's almost surreal. Then it's frown, fake smile, frown for no reason.

Many drinking games can be developed on various bad traits in this movie - How many times a clear shot misses, how many times characters get 30 rounds out of a 10 round clip, how many times bets are made by the nameless gamblers yet NOTHING has happened to preface the bets - There is literally nothing to be betting on! Another great one would be to do a shot of beer (not the hard stuff - you'll be too wasted) each time Randy unnaturally pauses before progressing through a scene or delivering a line. These are not normal pauses, folks. This is Randy (who doesn't seem too bright and may have CTE from all that wrestling) trying his earnest to remember what his cut-rate acting coach tried to teach him in his week of classes. . . . "Now Randy. Remember how you learned on Monday that you have to stare at the phone for 3 seconds after a call has ended, right? OK, so today we're going to go over 'Unnatural Pausing for Dramatic Effect'? Now these pauses will happen completely unannounced and have no relation to reality -- BUT it will show your dramatic range and truly make the scene!"

Barrio Tales (2012)

Super low rent "Tales From The Hood" - AWFUL

[1/10 · 8 August 2016]

I know others have said the same before but there is no other movie to compare this to than the excellent low budget "Tales From The Hood." I expected something as good or even close but what a piece of garbage this is! It's very well filmed and I was excited in the first 15 min to see a good gory, fun movie. Instead, it just misses opportunity after opportunity to scare, entertain, present fun plot twists or anything else that makes a movie like this worthwhile.

What surprised me the most was NOT how poor the story telling was (although it was bottom of the barrel) but how absolutely beautiful the editing, cinematography, lighting and set design was. Such a shame that an investment of time and money was put into this when it lacks so much in writing and creativity.

Zero plot twists, zero screen play, zero fun!! Don't waste your time. If you're a fan of amazing low budget movies (like me), then get a hold of the movie "Favor". Wow. See my review on this if you want but either way, track it down and watch it.

Favor (2013)

Truly amazing movie.

[10/10 · 12 August 2015]

I am very, very critical of most movies. Especially these type of indie flix where the 2-bit actors recite their barely memorized lines one after another after another with little emotion. Or overact using the f-word to show their "range." Or act in ways no normal person ever would.

You won't find this in Favor, my friend.

I caught Favor on Comcast Xfinity Streampix last night and its the best movie I've seen in 5 years. Maybe 10. The casting, acting, script writing, character and plot development, and entertainment value are all 10 out of 10. I put it up their with Blood Simple, one of my top 10 of all time. The main character (Blayne Weaver) acts exactly like you would expect a man to act in his predicament. His wife (Cheryl Nichols) was amazing and it was hard to believe she was acting. What a star, and what a gorgeous woman. And the bad guy - Patrick Day. Wow. Maybe the best acting I have ever seen, and I mean ever.

Yes, there are some flaws. The policewoman and her smart alec demeanor was over the top and a throwaway part. The plot had a few minor holes, but so did The Departed and The Godfather. But even with these minor flaws, I still cannot recommend this movie more. It's low budget indie look and style add so much to the realism. Compare this to the piece of indie trash called "At The Sinatra Club" I saw the night before or the ridiculously stupid waste of celluloid "Iron Doors" I saw the night before that and one can see what a true masterpiece this is.

To all involved with this movie: Well done! BRAVO! Please make more just like it and this time get a major release so I don't have to catch your fine work two years later on Comcast.