Wistfull Reviews

The Last Unicorn (1982)

Disappointing, tiresome slop

[2/10 · 3 June 2023]

Disjointed, poorly paced and badly animated, The Last Unicorn offers the viewer some beautiful backgrounds and little else. The film is filled with unsympathetic, inconsistent characters who never have a clear motivation for anything they do.

Since the creators wanted to include so many interminable, pointless songs you'd wish they at least hired capable singers to execute them.

To top it off, for no reason whatsoever there are some weirdly sexual scenes that I wouldn't wish to show to a child. Since the story isn't complicated enough to hold an adult's interest, I can't fathom who this film is meant for.

Wendell & Wild (2022)

Delightful!

[9/10 · 1 January 2023]

I expected some fairly dumb Disney-type film, but this one turned out to be a creative, original and surprisingly dark tale that openly criticizes corporate capitalism and the prison industry. Kudos!

The visuals are captivating and the use of colour and light to enhance them is simply beautiful. The character designs are great and memorable, as are the sets. Overall the film is a feast for eyes as well as the mind.

The story did feel slightly all over the place - maybe it should have been trimmed down somewhere so that other parts could have flourished better, or perhaps it could have been ten minutes longer to allow a bit more breathing room.

All in all, well worth watching!

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

Simply charming

[10/10 · 1 January 2023]

This is an endlessly rewatchable film. Every year or two I get the same feeling: "should I watch Totoro again?" And every time it fills me with a warm, serene joy.

This is not a plot-driven thrill ride - it's scenes from a life as experienced by children. The feeling that comes accross is that of childhood, with its excitement and troubles. Endless days filled with pointless little things that feel oh-so-important, and every now and then a big thing that causes even bigger feelings.

And feelings seem to be the point of the film. It's not about story or character development, but getting to feel things alongside the characters. The sigh of contentment that Mei has over her perfect little lunchbox, the shriek of joy when she sees the first totoro, the soft calm of napping in the underground lair.

The real gift this film has given to its viewers is that little burst of joy they now feel every time raindrops drum their umbrellas. What better legacy for a film!

A Matter of Life and Death (1946)

Disappointed

[3/10 · 20 December 2022]

Pre-1950s fantasy romance is a genre I typically enjoy, but this film was sadly a letdown.

There's no actual romantic development in the film - "these two are in love now" is established quickly at the start of the film and then just left for the viewer to accept and believe.

The female lead has nothing interesting to do or say at any point, simply vacillating between gazing at a man adoringly and listening to a man attentively. I guess that counts as romance if you're a man?

The ending, while probably meant to be climactic, devolves into a weird list of comparisons between USA and UK. Having no relation to either of these countries, I simply found this section baffling and tedious.

Pity, as I wanted to like the film.

The Amazing Maurice (2022)

A successful adaptation

[9/10 · 20 December 2022]

Being a fan of Terry Pratchett's work, I felt slightly apprehensive when I heard that The Amazing Maurice is being made into a family film. The end result, however, is as entertaining and charming as I could hope for!

There have been some changes, of course, but the spirit of the book is pretty intact, even if somewhat lighter. The visual jokes are in line with Pratchett's style of humour, and the grim and sad tones of the story get through without getting too upsetting.

Most of the character designs are really good, the only really disappointing one being Malicia's needle-thin-with-a-massive-bobble-head design that is so typical of 3D animations of the past decade.

All in all I'm positively surprised with the film!

The Great North: A Knife to Remember Adventure (2022) Season 3, Episode 1

Oh no

[4/10 · 29 September 2022]

Too much singing :(

If this is a new direction the show is taking, I guess I'll have to stop watching. Which is a pity, as the emotional side of the story was well constructed. Beef finally admitting to having happy memories of his wife was very welcome and nicely expressed.

But bland song sequences repeatedly throughout the episode, with accompanying animation that added nothing to the story? No thank you. One bland song per episode I can handle, but having the same bland song disjointedly inserted into the story time and again... it's just distracting.

Really a pity if they've gone and ruined a good thing like this.

The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)

Fun, but also disappointing

[7/10 · 21 July 2022]

Despite being slightly watered down in comparison with the series, this is a fun film suitable for the whole family. The story was engaging and unpredictable with some moments of genuine suspense, and the animation was remarkably beautiful at points.

Sadly, the biggest letdown of this film are the musical numbers. I had high hopes for the score, since the TV series has many succesfully executed musical episodes, like Flu-ouise, Wharf Horse and The Bleakening, and lots of memorable, beautifully arranged songs like I Do, This Is Working and Bad Stuff Happens In The Bathroom. But somehow every piece of music in this film is bland and forgettable, and the accompanying dance sequences are just uninspired and annoying. Worse than that, some of the songs make the narrative difficult to follow, such as the villain's song towards the end. The songs in the TV series have always been a strength, but in the film they end up being its main weakness. I watched the film last night and can't remember one tune.

That said, everything else falls together neatly. Sometimes films based on series fail when they introduce previously unknown characters and storylines that feel out of place, but here the additions are well executed. It's easy to believe that the new characters and locations have existed within the Bob's Burgers universe all along, even if we're only seeing them now. Nothing in the story or characters is clashing with the series, but the film also works as an independent piece, making it easy to enjoy for fans of the series and newcomers alike.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Appalling. Truly Awful

[1/10 · 1 July 2022]

There's nothing wrong with bringing Austen into modern times by showing things that would have been unshowable back in her day, but this is not how it's done.

The thing that many adaptations get dead wrong about Austen is that the tension in all of her work is dependent on the social limitations of the time. The strict rules around what can be said and done, and characters struggling to express themselves within those rules, is the essential core of her stories.

This film makes it clear from the very first moment that those rules have been thrown out the window (Lizzy out and about without a bonnet?! What is she, a harlot?? She would never!), and the result is a love story that never feels like anything. With all the characters freely screaming whatever they want into each others' faces, there's neither suspense nor drama to be had.

The locations and costumes are also very odd - these people look (and behave) more like peasants than gentry. The Bennet household looks dirty, unkempt and run down for some reason. I guess relative poverty is not a concept the director is familiar with, so we get some blatant signs of absolute poverty, just to make it clear that this is not a well-off family.

I cannot fathom what people see in this boring slog of a film.

Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020 TV Special)

Seems to have caused a lot of offence and upset emotions

[10/10 · 24 June 2022]

This is a brilliant show. A uniquely constructed combination of feminism, art history and autism, with a little sprinkling of anti-vax. Not to be missed!

The low ratings are most likely from hormonal men, so they should just be ignored ;)

(Oh, lighten up love! Can't take a joke?)

Isle of Dogs (2018)

How can you be sexist with dogs? Here's how

[2/10 · 17 May 2022]

Even when he's directing a bunch of stop-motion dogs, Wes Anderson manages to cast thin blondes and give them characters with zero personality.

This is a technically pretty film, and full of the kind of unchecked, unadressed patriarchy & western worldview that is often mistaken for neutrality & objectivity. Shrouded in Anderson's typical whimsy, this content is even more harmful because of its palatability.

Disappointing, frustrating and sad.

Holes (2003)

Good adaptation of a great novel

[8/10 · 17 May 2022]

Faithful to the book, and manages to capture some of the feeling and atmosphere even if it's somewhat disneyfied.

The soundtrack was lacking at points, and the occasional slo-mo moments felt distracting.

All in all an entertaining watch with some solid performances.

The Great North: Poetry of the Penals Adventure (2022) Season 2, Episode 19

Solid episode

[8/10 · 11 May 2022]

Poking fun at poetry was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed Honeybee being shocked at what the Tobyn family has turned her into. And what a neat location that underwater cell was! Gorgeous design.

The Great North: Say It Again, Ham Adventure (2022) Season 2, Episode 20

Good stuff!

[9/10 · 11 May 2022]

A neat episode with interesting twists and turns! The A and B stories were tied together in a really satisfying manner. The musical numbers felt a bit lacking, but then again, Bob's Burgers is the only series that does musical numbers really well.

Logan's Run (1976)

The film that invented Tinder

[8/10 · 3 May 2022]

Such fun! Great clothes and dramatic posing all through the film. A charmingly terrifying robot and lovely cheesy capsule cars. And what a cute futuristic miniature city made from balsawood and blinking little lights!

To top off the banging visuals there's the wonderfully amusing storyline of depraved, sex-obsessed modernity and the saving grace of age-old biblical gender norms (which have never hurt anyone and only ever make things better). To be sure, the core of this film isn't exactly progressive, but the ridiculousness of it all undermines the purpose nicely.

Also there's a scene with loads and loads of cats!

And yes, they did invent Tinder as an example of the depravity. How fitting!

The Red Turtle (2016)

Beautiful but awful

[3/10 · 3 May 2022]

The first quarter of the film was gorgeous and captivating, but the rest was a huge letdown.

When I decided to watch a film about a shipwrecked man befriending a turtle, I was expecting something a lot less human-centered, patriarchal and cisnormative.

All through the second quarter I kept waiting for the guy to wake up from a hallucinatory stupor to discover that he's f-d a dead turtle. When it became clear that that's not happening, I decided to give up and skip through the rest to see if it would get any better. It didn't.

This is just a revoltingly basic Adam-and-Eve fantasy by some dude.

The Blues Brothers (1980)

Nice & nostalgic

[7/10 · 30 April 2022]

Good fun with catchy, memorable tunes. Nothing particularly earthshattering or heartrending, just a simple story to carry all the gags and songs. Won't leave you thinking or overcome with emotion, but will entertain you for an evening!

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

Neat!

[8/10 · 30 April 2022]

Wonderfully dramatic and surprisingly poignant. Quite anxiety-inducing somehow. Nice classic film noir stuff, and a really cool boat bed. Plus a Buster Keaton cameo.

Zardoz (1974)

Mental in the best possible way

[8/10 · 30 April 2022]

Thoroughly interesting and captivating in its weirdness. There's no coherence or real meaning in any of it, the whole film is all over the place. Which is great.

Good fun, but likely to annoy anyone who needs to "understand" films or "follow the plot" or witness "character development" or whatnot. None of that in this one, just a massive flying head and a red hot mankini and some trippy scenes in a labyrinth of mirrors. Recommended!

Holy Motors (2012)

Trite and forgettable

[3/10 · 24 April 2022]

This is a film that will probably make a strong impression if it's the first non-linear film you see.

Sadly, I found this to be clichéd and devoid of any real meaning. There's one excellent picture (the great dane in the dark movie theatre) and one original scene (eating flowers in the graveyard). That was the scene that made me want to see the film, but the rest didn't unfortunately live up to that one short sequence.

Andrei Rublev (1966)

Visually stunning, can't say about the rest

[8/10 · 22 April 2022]

This film has possibly the best opening scene in the history of cinema. All the rest is classic beautiful Tarkovksy too.

That said, I didn't finish the film - towards the end of the first half I found my mind wandering so that it seemed pointless to go on. I was left with the impression that this might be a lot more interesting to anyone who either is religious or knows anything at all about Christianity. As is, my ignorant atheist self was just left to admire the pictures as the content flew over my head.

Might try to rewatch sometime.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Not quite sure about this one

[7/10 · 13 April 2022]

Fun in many ways, and definitely memorable, but also makes me feel a bit uncomfortable for some reason. I think it's the dudeliness of it all. I suspect that, as much as I liked this film when I first saw it ten years ago, I might end up hating it in another ten. We'll see.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Sweet, silly nostalgia

[7/10 · 13 April 2022]

A bit boring for a modern viewer, but charming in its own way. Stupid in the classic old Hollywood way - you know, the way that makes you chuckle a bit condescendingly but also smile at the naiveté with genuine kindness.

Technically interesting with all the early special effects!

The Sound of Music (1965)

Nice, not that spectacular

[7/10 · 13 April 2022]

The songs are lovely, and Julie Andrews is charming of course, but the story is uneven and at times jarring. It's like all the elements are there, but they're put together in wrong order or in wrong proportions.

Still, this is a nice film for a relaxing evening.

The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)

A milestone in film history

[7/10 · 12 April 2022]

Technically interesting, but lacking in storyline - they could have built the tension much better, I think. Maybe it would work better if I cared about religion. Also the recently invented close-ups were taken a bit too far, as it was difficult to tell who was who with all the monk men looking so similar.

Still, some neat images in this one, and definitely an important work in the history of cinema. Recommended as a study of advances in early filmmaking.

As Good as It Gets (1997)

It's fine, I guess

[5/10 · 12 April 2022]

After seeing this film years and years ago only two things remain in my memory:

1. That scene of the artist sketching her is not credible. The quality of the sketches and the expressions they were of didn't match. You can't do a drawing like that of a fleeting laugh!

2. How on earth could anyone even like, let alone love Nicholson's character? He's a horrible old miser! And she's wonderful! In real life she would hardly even talk to him. Clearly written & directed by a man.