Bart and Lisa take Maggie's pacifier away to stop her from sucking on it, but Maggie refuses to kick the habit. Bart and Lisa eventually learn if they cannot get Maggie to quit sucking on pacifiers, it is better to join in.
Bart and Lisa compete in a contest while Maggie watches, to see who can make the most disgusting burp. Marge objects several times, but to no avail. Homer does not help matters when he joins in on the kids' burp contest to Marge's disgust.
Marge makes dinner and the family sits down for the meal. She insists that everyone should have table manners, but the family's crude eating habits are hard to stop.
Marge warns the kids that if they make scary faces, their faces will freeze in place forever. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie ignore her--until Marge gives them a scare with a mirror.
The family attends the funeral of Uncle Hubert. Bart proves to be disruptive and Homer swears to never take the kids to another funeral, much to their dismay.
Bart and Lisa wonder what is inside Maggie's mind when looking at her in her crib. The audience sees her imagination: she is a giant, and she is tickling baby-sized versions of Bart and Lisa.
Homer promises the kids chocolate milkshakes if Bart can catch one of his long football passes. Unfortunately, there are many obstacles to overcome, like falling down a cliff, but Bart manages to catch the football - with his mouth.
Marge takes the girls out to watch a ballet, leaving Homer in charge of dinner. Bart cannot stomach it when he is forced to eat a mix of fish nuggets and pork-a-roni.
Bart, Lisa and Maggie play a game of "Space Patrol". Bart puts a jug on his head with the pretense of it being the helmet of an alien warlord. However, his head gets stuck in the jug and Lisa "frees" Bart using a croquet mallet.
When Bart's hair grows too long, Homer and Marge order him to get it cut. The barber ends up shaving Bart's entire head, and he attempts to disguise his scalp using glue, his old hair, and eventually a paper bag.