"My Three Sons" The Fountain of Youth (TV Episode 1965) Poster

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3/10
Fans of Gloria Swanson might be the few who like this
FlushingCaps6 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
On a day when Charley is feeling tired of the drudgery of house work, Rob and his girlfriend of the week, Cynthia, go to a live performance of an old actress reciting lines from various authors. I know, but Cynthia has dreams of being an actress and wants to see the actress. She gets a break when it is discovered, before the performance, that this actress knew Rob's Uncle Charley "35 years ago" when he was in Vaudeville with his brother.

Now I thought when Charley was introduced, it was said he was show business with Bub for a while, but then spent the better part of 30 years in the Merchant Marines. In this show, it specifically states that Charley spent 20 years in Vaudeville but when his act with Bub broke up, he spent 12 years in the Merchant Marines.

So Charley sits with Rob and his date (they didn't go together) at the show, he is happily delighted to see his old friend (it was hinted that it was an old girlfriend) on stage. He is planning on introducing Cynthia to the actress after the show. The actress, Margaret McSterling, is played by silent screen star Gloria Swanson. But right after all the other "fans" get her autograph and leave, Charley is left standing, and she just dismisses this fan, saying she has to get going, and ducks into a dressing room, leaving Charley flummoxed that she didn't recognize him, so he never says a word to her and doesn't try to introduce her to Cynthia.

When Steve sees how upset Charley is that she didn't know him, he comes to the rescue. He goes to her hotel the next day and tells Maggie about Charley. She reveals that without her glasses, she can't see well at all and never knew Charley was there.

She comes to the house and Charley now understands. Remembering old times, she gets him all worked up about the notion of getting back into show business. But first, she wants to give him all the facial treatments and exercise that has helped her look much younger than he does. Most of the rest of the episode has Charley riding a bike and wearing mud packs, excited about leaving his family and going on stage again.

We have a short serious scene with Maggie advising Cynthia about the realities of show business, but telling her she has no regrets at all about the choices she made.

But the hard exercise has convinced Charley he doesn't really want to get back into the business, and he and Maggie enjoy some chocolate cake together.

Now Charley not only refers to his brother as "Bub" a couple of times, he calls him that when mentioning him to Maggie, who seems to know just who he means. This doesn't at all fit in with an early Charley episode where he learns that his brother Bill was called Bub at the Douglas home because Chip had trouble when a toddler, saying "Grandpa." He was never called Bub before Chip came along. Now, someone who knew him 35 years ago recognizes "Bub" as his name.

Between that and the number of years Charley worked at his two professions, whoever was in charge of script continuity must have had this week off.

How either of them could have thought there was a place for the corny jokes Charley and Maggie laughed at, where people would want to go to a theater to see two old performers (one of whom was not a big name in the least) exchanging these jokes is a mystery to me. By the mid 1960s, Vaudeville was indeed dead. One of them went like this: "Did you hear about my uncle? He gets into the bathtub with his shoes on." "That sounds crazy." "No, he's a plumber." I believe the usual TV show response is "Now I know what killed Vaudeville." Frankly, the thing that was most unrealistic was that Charley thought that one glimpse of him would let Maggie recognize a man she hadn't seen in over 30 years. Any normal person, when she started to brush him off would have said, "Wait a minute. You should remember me." With his distinctive voice, that would likely have been all she needed. But one look at someone who doesn't say a word isn't likely to generate 35-year-old memories, glasses or no glasses.

I guess the serious message the writers thought important to get out was that acting can be a hard life, but it is totally worth it. Wow! Never heard that before. As for comedy, this is a good episode to skip. Knowing from the start that Charley wasn't really going to leave his family-where just a few months ago, he was so happy to join and settle down after a lifetime of being on the seas, after traveling around in show business-kept any drama from being interesting here. A score of 3 is generous.

By the way, the plot summary shown incorrectly states that Charley ran into a friend, and also incorrectly states that she tells Charley the secret to her youthful looks is that "he just needs to enjoy his life." She told him he needed to exercise and diet and take all sorts of facial cream and mud treatments to look more youthful. That was the plot.
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