The Cottage (2008) User Reviews

Mindless, twisted mayhem!

[shady402 · 6/10 · 27 April 2008]

The best way to sum up this film is 'interesting...!' The violence, blood and gore is fantastic. If you want to see people decapitated and hacked to bits and want to laugh at the same time, this recent British horror comedy is definitely for you. The main characters are fun, likable and witty, Andy Serkis is fantastic, the dialogue is hilarious and the film is just entertaining from start to finish.

However, the storyline is quite simply all over the place. It's an incoherent mess to be exact! The film just twists and turns in different directions raising a number of questions, which it then leaves unanswered. Characters and subplots are introduced and then forgotten about. However, I'm guessing most people would not want to see this for the plot so if you just want some mindless, gory fun, go and see this.

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film

[jess-154 · 7/10 · 12 February 2008]

Director Paul Andrew Williams wanted to "write a film that cost no money and was all set in one place". And the first sixty or so minutes stuck to this agenda pretty well; Two brothers kidnap the daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a wealthy man, he sends out two crazy Chinese guys to kill them, nerdy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) looses the all important mobile phone and older hard-man brother David (Andy Serkis) swears a lot, all in the confines of a deserted cottage. The dialogue is just about snappy enough to keep this interesting. Not much to be said for the camera work – but it does kinda add to the atmosphere. And then they end up in another cottage and the blood bath begins.

It's pretty obvious why they cast Ellison: she has big bouncy boobs and her harsh liverpoodlian accent is juxtaposed perfectly with her blonde hair and Barbie doll face. No one really cares that her script rarely ventures beyond words too rude to publish here – the camera generally focuses on her chest/backside with the occasional headbut thrown in. Shame really; I was hoping she'd amaze us all with her diverse acting talent, but I guess it's a case of you can take the girl out of Brookside but you won't get an amazing actress out of a soap star.

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film. The perfect gangster with a heart, his sincerity and charm kept me watching throughout. I'm not entirely sure why he chose to do The Cottage – perhaps, like me, he was hoping this would be one of those rare things; a funny independent British comedy. But unfortunately it just felt like Williams had taken The Chain Sore Massacre and Hot Fuzz, cut out the best bits, stuck the leftovers in a blender and then forgot to cook it properly.

By all means go see this if you like blood, guts and rolling heads, just don't expect any intellect in the script.

"The Cottage" embraces convention, and for the most part, it works.

[Mr_Censored · 6/10 · 13 April 2009]

"The Cottage" is really two movies.

One part is a fairly generic but slightly amusing crime-story involving the kidnapping of a voluptuous, foul-mouthed blonde by two brothers. One is a seasoned criminal, while the other is an amateur at best, thus, situational comedy ensues. They take shelter in an abandoned cottage where their hostage gives them a run for their money – literally – and swears up a storm. While this half of the film wants to belong in the same company as "Shaun Of The Dead," it can't, because it's not clever enough and is far too saturated in clichés. Despite some strong performances, the characters are merely stereotypes. It's not the fault of the actors that their characters aren't convincing, though, because in reality, they were written and possibly intended as cardboard cut-outs, meant to service the second half.

Despite a rocky set-up, we get to the second part, a gut-bustingly fun homage to slasher films that would make the likes of Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi proud. When our criminals and guest cross paths with a deformed neighbor, madness ensues. Why no film has been brilliant enough to give its villain a shovel as weapon of choice is beyond me, as the red stuff is spilled in ways that are both shocking and hilarious. Truly, this is where the meat of the flick is. Despite the lack of depth in both story and characters, "The Cottage" does manage to serve up a nice, enjoyable dish of slasher casserole that pays tribute to its influences with some truly inventive slicing and dicing. To be honest, the film would be far more effective if it had played this hand early on, instead of setting up a routine, by-the-numbers premise, but in the end, it'll win you over by its unique "anything-goes" approach to somewhat tired material. It's hardly reinventing the wheel, and is not a flick everyone in the room will appreciate, but as a way to kill 90 minutes, you could do much worse.

thoughts such as "for better or worse" comes to mind

[beregic · 6/10 · 17 May 2008]

i guess i should call it a sarcastic horror-comedy show with "vintage" elements. it actually starts as a kidnapping thriller and ends up as a "traditional" horror. only the last 30 minutes could be considered as "horror".

a few things must be said. the pace of the movie is slow and sometimes very slow. but if you keep that in mind and you are in mood for some "dark" comedy you might as well enjoy it as i did.compared to "Shaun of the Dead" is not as funny but a bit more scarier. something to watch out of boredom and it might entertain you in that case( like when you busy with something else and need a background distraction that WILL get at least a few "gigs" out of you). overall i was not disappointed.this feature is missing a defined plot and i am not sure what that "point" would have been here( or could have), other then some really funny sarcastic jokes and some gore.

the main actor to watch here is Andy Serkis as one of the 2 brothers and the mastermind before the kidnapping.he does some great acting when everything goes wrong and it is quiet funny to watch him deal with his naturally idiotic brother( which at one point even personalizes Hitler, literally, but the character does not seem to be aware of that). there are also a few other characters but they not contribute much to the plot except for the "bad" one. the soundtrack is actually excellent in creating those horror "vintage" moods.

Has it's moments, just not enough of them.

[poolandrews · 6/10 · 25 June 2009]

The Cottage starts as bickering brother's David (Andy Serkis) & Peter (Reece Shearsmith) pull up outside an isolated cottage deep in the English countryside, there they take young feisty blonde babe Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) whom they have kidnapped inside. They phone her rich stepfather & demand money for Tracey's safe return, unfortunately the plan goes wrong & the third member of the gang Andrew (Steven O'Donnell) is followed & leads Tracey's stepfather's men right to the cottage. If things weren't complicated enough a sadistic psycho serial killing farmer (Dave Legeno) who decides to join in the fun &, well, kill everyone...

This British production was written & directed by Paul Andrew Williams & is a rather uneven but often quite entertaining horror crime comedy caper with a certain likable charm. The Cottage starts off like one of those British crime flicks like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) with two bumbling kidnappers trying to get some ransom money for the rather hot Tracey but just keep getting deeper into trouble as things escalate & their plans go wrong, this is entertaining in itself although rather simplistic. Then about halfway though The Cottage switches genres completely to some British version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) as some deformed mutant hick starts killing off the city folk & it's this part of the film which disappoints the most. There's no explanations or reasons given to anything like who the farmer is, how did he manage to maintain a farmhouse by his mutant self, how did he manage to kill so many people & get away with it, why did he kill so many people, why only kill certain character's & not other's & if the villagers knew what was going on why didn't they call the police? Some sort of explanation would have been nice, anything would have done. The ending is also very frustrating as the film just stops suddenly rather than finishing. Having said that the pace is good, it's fun, it entertains & I loved Jennifer Ellison's foul mouthed Scouse character who just had me in stitches with some of the things she said & just as importantly how she said it. Overall The Cottage has it's moments & isn't a terrible film but ultimately it left me unsatisfied & there's nothing of any real substance here, good for a one time watch & a bit of a laugh but not something I would want to see again anytime soon.

I watched The Cottage on DVD last night & also watched the 'deleted scenes' section & some story was actually cut including what happened to the two Chinese guy's although I don't think these scenes would have made much difference. The gore wasn't as excessive as I had hoped, there's some guts, some blood splatter, some decapitated heads, a head cut in two with a shovel, a sliced in half foot, a pick axe through a leg a slit throat. The killer farmer doesn't look much different than any other backwoods inbred psycho from these sorts of films.

With a supposed budget of about £2,500,000 The Cottage is well made although judging by the audio commentary on the DVD it was shot very quickly. Filmed in Yorkshire here in the UK & on the Isle of Man. The acting is good by some good character actor's although I really liked Jennifer Ellison here & it's shame she doesn't get more screen time actually, actually I never expected to say this but I think she's probably the best thing about The Cottage.

The Cottage is a pretty fun British comedy crime horror caper that entertains but ultimately doesn't really satisfy on any other than a basic fun sort of level, overall not too bad but still somewhat disappointing.

Great comedy and greater horrors await you at The Cottage.

[Cinema_Fan · 7/10 · 18 March 2008]

Take television comedy actors Reece Shearsmith ("The League of Gentlemen"), Steve O'Donnell (Kevin and Perry Go Large 2000) one movie star Andy Serkis (The Lord of The Rings 2001 - 2003) and director and writer Paul Andrew Williams (London to Brighton 2006) and we have a very fresh faced English comedy based on stupidity, desperation and gruesome death.

A stylised horror with added humour and foul language to boot, this is comedy via a witless tribe of incompetents and amateurish plans to make some easy money. A charming story of two brothers (Shearsmith and Serkis) hiding out in a remote cottage, while their kidnapped victims London gangland boss pays off a one hundred thousand pound ransom for feisty daughter Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). Of course, thing do not go according to plan.

Funded by the UK Film Council and Screen Yorkshire this is horror most horrible, set with some fine colouring by cinematographer Christopher Ross (London to Brighton 2006), the Isle of Man and Yorkshire night time countryside has never looked so tense, suspenseful and dangerous. Then there is the wit of the script that takes its own form, with the added help of clueless kidnappers and Oriental thugs this script is the key core that propels the film forward to a festival of comedy and extreme hilarity, mixed with it murders most foul. Even if the outlaying plot does seem a tad familiar, it can be very much forgiven. The Cottage from the start has been given its own blend of ghastly misfortunes, its own characteristics that set it apart from the rest, like a Carry On gone wrong, The Cottage has built its reputation on a backbone of British humour that always hit's the right spot for the right reasons.

While nothing new to report in overall originality The Cottage is well prepared to take the risk of not pampering to the allure of the teenage cinema market, due respect to its bravery in having the 18 certificate upon it. In addition, with this adult tag comes adult humour and extreme adult violence. There is no compromise with what The Cottage holds within its rafters and with the horrors of it all it really does seem a change from the norm and to see fresh meat, and blood, injected and dissected, into a British film as The Cottage is only a step in the right direction for British Cinema, I'm moving in as soon a possible.

Occasionally funny...but I really wouldn't bother.

[fallyhag · 5/10 · 17 March 2008]

Comment declaration: I am a genuine viewer with no intention of distorting the IMDb ratings to make people go and watch it (yes...the PR corruption of this website annoys me). Anyway...

For some reason I fell for the hype and thought this would be something different. I went along to the Kino on my own and had a big bowl of popcorn ready for the best of British.

The film started very predictably and there was nothing new standing out. No interesting camera work, script or imagination.

I like Serkis and Ellison and I reckon they both did an OK job. I liked the way Ellison didn't give a hoot how she looked on camera. Flab, bad skin and cellulite...it was all there. Good to see she is a pro about the acting and not just glossy. Her character was mean and moody and made me smile. But it was all predictable physical comedy that relied a lot on the "C" word. Not a nice word to use a lot.

I was aware it was going to be a kidnap followed by a killer but I couldn't work out the twist...and then I found out there just wasn't one. It was just plain and predictable with some very dull gore scenes. There is nothing new at all worth mentioning here. No imagination or attempt to break the cliché. As for the ending...well I really didn't see the point. Very flat and I was glad I could go.

I would like to say I was left with more questions than answers but it was just such a non-event that I really didn't give it a seconds thought.

How will I remember this film? Serkiss looked very mean. Ellison was nastily funny and had a great bod in the back of the car. Very odd second half that didn't really go anywhere.

Very very disappointing. Rating 5/10 (because the head butting scene made me smile).

A decent genre mashup with lots of gore.

[Fella_shibby · 8/10 · 8 December 2019]

I first saw this in 2008 on a dvd which I own. Revisited it recently. This film is a genre mashup like From Dusk till Dawn. Its starts like a comedy n then after 45 mins changes into a gory horror film. Apart from being inspired by TCM, it has also borrowed elements from Hatchet which came one year before this film. The best part about this film is the gore. It has a nasty scene similar to the one from Antropophagus.

The Leatherface Farmer

[claudio_carvalho · 6/10 · 9 August 2008]

When David (Andy Serkis) and his clumsy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the daughter of a powerful gangster, they bring Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) to a cottage in the countryside in the trunk of their car. Peter calls Tracey's father and asks a ransom of one hundred thousand pound to be delivered to her step-brother Andrew (Steve O'Donnell). When the bag is delivered to the moron Andrew, he does not check the content and is followed to the remote location by two Chinese hit-men hired by Tracey's father. When the abductors discover that the bag has only paper, David drives to a nearby village to make a phone call to demand the money. When he returns, he finds Andrew fainted and later that Tracey had reverted the situation and escaped with his brother as hostage. Meanwhile an insane and deformed farmer has just killed the killers and Tracey and Peter are heading to his farmer seeking a phone to call her father.

I had a great expectation with "The Cottage" but I found it disappointing. The black-humor never works except in the two very last scenes (in the end of the credits there is a last one). The characters Peter and Andrew are stupid and annoying and the psychopath serial-killer is a rip-off of Leatherface. In the end I found this movie only reasonable and my vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Cabana Macabra" ("Macabre Cottage")

Cannot decide what it wants to be

[seawalker · 5/10 · 19 March 2008]

You might say that "The Cottage" has opened to less than stellar reviews in the UK. Frankly, this is a slight understatement. The truth of the matter is that "The Cottage" has opened to stinkingly bad reviews in the UK. Just terrible write ups.

Part of the issue the UK critics seem to have with "The Cottage" is that Director Paul Andrew Williams decided to follow up his low budget, gritty, violent and critically lauded thriller "London To Brighton", with a pretty generic horror film. I don't mind that so much. In fact I kind of admire it. As a film fan I see all kinds of films. I would imagine that any film Director started off at some point as a film fan and, as such, would like to have a crack at making all kinds of films. If "The Cottage" had been a masterpiece then it wouldn't have mattered, would it? Just another Director working in a different genre.

Sadly, "The Cottage" is not a masterpiece. Far from it. Slapstick horror is very difficult to pull off, and "The Cottage" does not come close, but it is not the total flop you might think it would be from reading the reviews. I think the problem with "The Cottage" is that it cannot decide what it wants to be. Knockabout kidnapping comedy or knockabout horror comedy? It is a bit of both, but not enough of either. Sad to say it, but all of the best bits are all in the trailer.

Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are fine as the bickering, mismatched brothers and kidnappers: Andy Serkis permanently grumpy and frustrated, Reece Shearsmith, jumpy, under the thumb and a sufferer of Mottephobia. (You can look it up.) Boobilicious, lads mag favourite Jennifer Ellison as the tough as nails kidnap victim was a bit disappointing. I was expecting a lot more from her and didn't get it. Not nearly an energetic enough performance.

I went to see "The Cottage" with my Brother. I got a one word review from him. Sh*t. Maybe that says it all?

Well worth a visit!

[teresaband · 8/10 · 24 February 2008]

British horror movies have always had a unique sense of humour, with "Severance" being a good recent example of savvy brit film-makers throwing laughs and gore together to great effect. This carries on that tradition, and in Reece Shearsmith they're blessed with an actor whose comic chops are well up to scratch. Andy Serkis is no slouch either, playing the straight man brilliantly as a mobster who's hard as nails but a little fuzzy on the inside.

The laughs are pretty reliable, and as the situation goes from bad to worse a lot of those laughs come from the (severe) misfortune of the poor souls on screen, and the blend of splatter and slapstick is well tuned. Jennifer Ellison does grate after a while, her constant use of swearing amusing at times but often a little irritating. Still, she has a fantastic body on her and that ball shrivellingly tough accent to fall back on, so her presence isn't entirely unwelcome. As a comedy it works extremely well, and as a gore movie there's some inventively wince-inducing moments, and with the balance just right "The Cottage" is well worth a visit.

Delirium can have qualities

[boccaccio6 · 7/10 · 24 May 2009]

If delirium can have qualities, this movie sure has. What should be appreciated here is the integrity that lies in every minute, in every single shot. There is some philosophical deepness in it, the idiot machine characters playing a script from which they cannot escape. This kind of situation usually makes viewers laugh, as a reaction to the inevitableness of stupidity in life, where intelligence plays no role. The plot may seem crazy and twisted: it is not; every minute builds the next one, in a crescendo which is sustained till the end. Add that it is shot nicely, characters are perfectly chosen for the job, the scenery, should say the furniture has a warm touch, blood floods freely. What more can you ask from a horror comedy?

Shrill, silly, plodding, goes nowhere, just a waste

[jbar19 · 3/10 · 15 July 2021]

Geez.

First, the good points; well made, cute blonde, some good gore.

Bad points; The story goes nowhere, It is unfunny. There is no sympathy for ANY of the characters, no is hardly any back story, unrealistic..

But the most bothersome aspect is the yelling and screaming. It is like a bunch of 12 year old boys got to write a script.

This is a 35 minute movie padded to almost 90 minutes. I wanted to like it. Im frustrated at how it failed to deliver.

I like a lot of B movies and Im not expecting 'Citizen Kane' but GEEZ....

Dont bother with this one.

Funny, gory perfect.

[donnab810 · 6/10 · 26 March 2008]

This film, is by far a genius in the making. It mixes dark humour with bloody deaths.

I liked this film a lot, made me laugh- I'm sure in places where I wasn't meant to be laughing, totally belly laughs.

Great film.

The character of Tracy classic!!! Well scripted and acted.

I mean come on , this film might not win any awards but damn, if you have a slight sick sense of humour then this film is for you.

In all classic slasher movies, this is probably the most funniest of them all.

What did happen in the greenhouse?

[JoeytheBrit · 6/10 · 30 October 2008]

The horror-comedy film has to be one of the most difficult types to get right, and more often than not the efforts of those who attempt it are mediocre to say the least. Shaun of the Dead and The Evil Dead movies work pretty well, but other than these two (and maybe the first Tremors) the genre is littered with failures. The Cottage, while not an out and out failure, does struggle in its attempt to mix laughs with gore but, despite this, it does manage to be reasonably entertaining.

In a rare leading role Andy Serkis plays a down-on-his-luck villain who has talked his finicky brother (League of Gentlemen's Reece Shearsmith) into helping him kidnap the foul-mouthed daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a lap-club owner in an attempt to earn enough to buy himself a boat and sail away to a better life. The trouble is that the daughter, Tracey, is more feisty than both the brothers and their hapless accomplice, Tracey's step-brother Andrew (Steven O'Donnell) put together and soon has the tables turned.

The film switches from a crime comedy to a gory horror when the various characters gradually converge on a remote farmhouse inhabited by a faceless farmer (reminiscent of TCSM's Leatherface) who sets about killing them in a variety of inventive ways.

The film never really sets out to scare the viewer with sudden noises or jump cuts, but it does wallow in various different forms of mutilation and amputation. It's heavily influenced by – and references – a number of classic horror films while managing to keep its own identity but, as others have pointed out, it is wildly uneven with the fate of one character and the back-story of the deranged farmer insufficiently explained. Other minus points are Serkis' largely monotone delivery of his lines and a huge amount of profanity. I've been known to utter the odd swear word myself every hour or so, but the guys in this film seem unable to string a sentence together without inserting at least a couple of the choicest swear words.

Starts out as a kidnapping gone wrong and turns to slasher horror

[Aaron1375 · 7/10 · 14 October 2015]

I rather enjoyed this British horror/comedy. It was not as good as say Shaun of the Dead or Dog Soldiers, but it was a rather entertaining film. Why did I mention those films? Well Shaun of the Dead is a horror comedy that keeps its comedic tone constant throughout and is more comedy than horror. While Dog Soldiers was mainly horror, but did have parts that were comedic. The problem with this film is that it feels a bit uneven. The first portion of the film is a kidnapping gone wrong and black comedy while the second half it becomes a horror/slasher film that maintains some of the comedic tones, but at the same time gets too dark. When I watch a film like this, I expect the leads to survive the crisis like in Shaun of the Dead...well okay, I guess one did not technically survive. In this one, does not happen. That being said it did manage to surprise me with the ending.

The story has two brothers who have kidnapped this girl and are holding her for ransom. Things begin to go wrong fast as the brother who does not seem to have a handle for the type of thing the two brothers are doing lets things slip. Another member of the group who brings the money makes his fair share of mistakes too, less to do with an inability to handle the situation, but more to do with the fact he is quite dim. Things begin going badly and just as they do not seem to be able to get worse they get much worse as they stumble upon a farmhouse where something sinister is lurking.

I liked the film, as I found the first portion of the film very funny. I kind of wish it would have stayed a simple kidnapping gone wrong as it got a bit too dark once the deranged lunatic showed up. There are still funny moments, but like I said, was not expecting it to be quite so brutal. They put everyone through so much only to put them through even more! So not the best horror/comedy I have seen from the British, but still every enjoyable.

Childish, stupid and pathetic

[robertolopes-1 · 2/10 · 11 July 2021]

I don't care if the great Andy Serkis is one of the top billed actors here. This is garbage. If only they would tone down the goofy aspects of that and take the story more seriously, then MAYBE we would have a good movie to watch.

The gore was well handled. The script is ludicrous and the decision to turn this piece of junk into a comedy only makes things worse.

Thank God for the 1.25x speed, and then for the 1,5x speed, or else I'd have left the movie unwatched.

Skip it. I mean it. That is, unless you love childish circus-like comedy. If you do, this one was made for you!

A really waste of my time. No wonder it cost 2,5 million pounds and it recouped less than half of that. My sympathy for the producers.

Horrific fun! Reece Shearsmith shines in excellent black comedy

[LittleScarletBlue · 8/10 · 5 February 2008]

'The Cottage' is an intriguing, genre mixing film, full of twists and turns - an exhilarating 90 minutes. Its gory and funny but one that anchors the splatter comedy to deftly drawn characters enduring a heightened reality one hell of a night.

The nightmarish black comic horror is skillfully delivered, with the gorefest conventions given a darkly comic twist. The film's tongue-in-cheek exuberance humorously balances the grisly nature of the horrific injuries that are inflicted on screen.

What makes 'The Cottage' so distinctive is the unusual approach it takes for a film where a gore infested climax is the pay off. At the heart of the film, and what makes the film stand out for me, is the emotional investment in the two main characters. You really do end up caring what happens to its key protagonists, the brothers David and Peter.

There is an emotional depth about them that made me wish even more time could have been spent with the pair, their arguments and interplay, exploring their relationship and its bickering background.

The relationship between the brothers, brilliantly played by Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith, is a highlight of the film. Their fraught fraternal relationship has a believability about it which grabs you from the moment they appear on screen & the scenes between them crackle with tension, humour and emotion.

Serkis's character is one used to being in control, but his tough, hard streetwise nature is under pressure almost immediately as the kidnapping plan begins to unravel, giving way to repressed anger and growing frustration.

Although Andy Serkis's David is forced out of his comfort zone as the plot unfolds, Reece Shearsmith's Peter is out of his depth from the start, reluctantly brought into a world he knows nothing about and ill equipped to deal with it at any level. His timidity is accompanied by a moralising disapproval of his brother.

Into this mix are thrown two more characters, the kidnapped Tracey and her black sheep stepbrother Andrew (nicely played by Jennifer Ellison and Steven O'Donnell) They are the natural comic grotesques of the movie, hindering and exasperating by extreme measures, a contrasting comic counterpoint to the carefully delineated characters of David and Peter. Much of the comedy comes from the dynamics of their enforced relationship and how they react to the ever worsening situation they find themselves thrust into.

Both the quarrelsome brothers are superbly played, but Reece Shearsmith is truly outstanding. His performance is beautifully nuanced with great comic timing and skillful characterisation. Peter is by turns wimpish, pernickety, argumentative, pathetic, vulnerable. He's hilariously yet tragically out his depth. Shearsmith's performance really holds the film together - it's brilliantly subtle and multi-layered. He brings so much to the role, not only comedically but emotionally too. He gives the film its heart, its pathos.

The bloody battlefield climax at the farmhouse sees the gory finale delivered with aplomb - the comedy and horror unfold with beautiful pace and precision.

Even here, amid the bloodletting, there is a moment of the unexpected and unusual which makes 'The Cottage' stand out. Its a low key, almost poetic scene which seals a growing understanding between the brothers. The badly injured pair contemplate their demise as they look up at a star filled night sky. Its a moment of humanity amid the carnage, sad and touching because its a hoped for reconciliation that will never happen.

'The Cottage' is a very entertaining blending of comedy and horror with a depth not usually associated with the genre and its directed with real confidence and verve.

There is a sense of sadness in the midst of the horrific fun of 'The Cottage' which lingers in the memory afterwards because its central characters matter and you care what happens to them - a rarity for the horror genre which marks the film out.

Its original approach, well evoked atmosphere, at times comically and bloody surreal , the blackly ironic pitch and top notch performances by the two leads, especially a brilliant Reece Shearsmith, make 'The Cottage' a comedy horror whose genre blending works a memorable treat!

Spoilers follow ...

[parry_na · 6/10 · 11 October 2017]

Reviewing a comedy is difficult. If you examine the jokes too much, they fall apart. If you quote various lines out of context, they lose their impact. 'The Cottage' is very much of the type that deserves to be watched, enjoyed and left at that.

To skirt over the story, David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) have kidnapped Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) but the situation becomes more complicated than any of them could imagine. Then, those complications become complicated … and so on. Even in the very last scene, the situation that has taken on such satisfyingly ridiculous proportions becomes … even more complicated.

My one real problem with this are the excessive profanities. At the risk of sounding like everyone's elderly parents, I found such expletives are shockingly funny to begin with, but become wearisome once they are established as the normal way of speaking. Other than that, this is a fine slice of black comedy. Politically incorrect in places, but mainly the laughs come from the extravagant blood and gore on display.

Tracey's large breasts only feature once as the focal point of the comedy, serving only as a distraction allowing her to get the better of Peter. The males are the subject of the humour here, their ineptitude and consistent failures causing the mayhem that propels the story. It's good to see Hellraiser's Doug Bradley in this, but a shame his appearance is limited to a 'villager with dog' credit.

All performances are enjoyable, with the excellent Shearsmith getting the brunt of the gory punishment. With Serkis, it is easy to note his performances as a number of CGI creations in other films, but this is a reminder what a good 'physical' actor he is too.

A tale of mixed halves....

[kevin_crighton · 5/10 · 18 March 2008]

The Cottage tells the story of two brothers, (Andy Serkis & Reece Shearsmith), who have kidnapped the step-daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a gangster. Taking her to a cottage in the woods they wait for the ransom. But what they find out there is something worse than the wrath of a gangster...

The Cottage is a horror/comedy written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams. He's tried to make a movie that turns into something different around half-way through. It's a pity that it doesn't work.

The first half of the movie at the Cottage isn't bad, and has some nice humour in it, for example the nerdier brother (Shearsmith) trying to be tough is quite amusing.

As a fan of horror movies however, I actually was a bit disappointed when the horror and gore side kicked in. Not that the gore and bloody violence isn't convincing, but that for me part of the problem was that as none of the characters were that likable to begin with, you don't really care about what happens to them.

This is a pity. Williams directs his own script well, staging the violence well, but it's his own writing that lets it down.

Horror/Comedy movies are hard to pull off. Evil Dead 2 works. Shaun Of The Dead works. An American Werewolf In London works. Dog Soldiers works(I do find it very funny).

Sadly though, The Cottage doesn't.

It's a comedy with bite, right to the end.

[hitchcockthelegend · 8/10 · 14 April 2008]

Two brothers, David & Peter, kidnap Tracey, the daughter of local tough guy gangster Arnie, they hold her to ransom for the sum of £100,000. What they hadn't bargained into the equation is that Tracey is one tough feisty lady, and that a turn of events will lead them to something far more scary than big bad gangster Arnie.

This is the second feature from director Paul Andrew Williams, and bearing in mind that his debut effort was the highly lauded gritty drama London To Brighton, it's no surprise to find that some folk are a little bemused as to the genre splicing nature of The Cottage. The Cottage is far more in keeping with Christopher Smith's 2006 horror comedy, Severance, and certainly it wouldn't be out of place as a double bill with that criminally undervalued picture.

Very much a film of two halves, this picture is likely to prove a very divisive piece, and it will (has) only find an audience based on word of mouth alone. You will be hard pressed to find any sort of press marketing that will prepare you for the type of genre fusion film you are getting. Already, based on the comments written on this site thus far, you can see that some people were confused (or annoyed) by the tonal shift for the second half of the film. The first half sees poles apart brothers, David & Peter, swapping comedy dialogue as they whisk through a number of exchanges and circumstances with the marvellously volatile Tracey. While the second part of the picture hits you over the head with a quick switch to horror formula that has catering fulfilment for the gore junkies amongst us.

And this is where the problem lies with many, why didn't the film stay as a kidnap farce? Why didn't it set its stall out to be a horror film from the off? There is no denying that the films' high points come with the horror moments, but the film is first and foremost a comedy, from the first reel to the cheeky end of credits sequence it is what it is. As deliciously sick as the gore shift is, The Cottage never once takes its tongue out of its bloody cheek. It's obvious that Paul Andrew Williams is having fun here, and he is clearly hoping his audience will as well. View it as an all encompassing comedy/horror/thriller in that order and you wont go far wrong.

Andy Serkis plays David, the tough brother of the two, with Serkis doing a wonderful line in both visual and vocal comedy. This benefits Reece Shearsmith as Peter, a character so far under the thumb he can barely be seen. Shearsmith feeds off of Serkis to seal the comedy deal for this odd brotherly couple. British tabloid fave Jennifer Ellison plays Tracey, literally swearing for England to have the audience divided as to if they want her to survive or not! But it's a gutsy show from her and one hopes she ventures into this territory a bit more often. There is nothing new or fresh here, and this wont win any awards; even in its homeland of England, but it is FUN and it shows a director intent on making films from different genres. 8/10

Good fun black comedy. Well worth a look.

[laymonite-2 · 6/10 · 25 May 2008]

Firstly, I found the publicity around this film very misleading. It suggested it was the 'best British horror film in xxxx years'- OK that's a common hyperbole, but the reviewers comments in daily newspapers suggest they hadn't actually seen the film. 'Inept kidnappers find they are in The Cottage of a deranged serial killer'...

This film had plenty of laugh out loud moments and far more sharp comedy than you'd expect in a low budget horror comedy. Serkis and especially Shearsmith really put in performances that make the film worth seeing. The humour is appropriately very much in the League of Gentlemen vein.

Ellison of course looks fantastic and her relatively brief performance is highly entertaining as a foul mouthed evil chav! Don't expect anything more than a low budget horror film that'll make you laugh and you'll be happy.

Doesn't know what It's meant to be

[The-Last-Prydonian · 3/10 · 7 March 2009]

In the past several years the British film industry has attempted to expand on Its choice of film genre. As per usual British directors have doled out the usual Comedies/Romantic comedies, gritty dramas, etc. Without delving deeply into other specific genres ie. Horror/Sci-fi. And thankfully the industry has begun to dip its toe into these categories more often. The result as you might expect has been rather mixed. For every "Shaun of the Dead" or "Severance" that has been released we've also had to endure dull or flat dross like "The Descent. Where "The Cottage", the latest project from writer/director Paul Andrew Williams fits in I suppose would be down to a person's individual taste.

Starring a range of actors which include Reese Shearsmith of "The League of Gentlemen" fame, Andy Serkis who is best remembered for providing the rasping malignant voice of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and former Brookside star Jennifer Ellison. 'The Cottage' like the aforementioned 'Severance' is a low-budget attempt to parody the slasher movie genre. 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' no doubt being a prime influence. It's an odd direction for Williams to take considering that he had only just previously helm-ed 'London to Brighton', a dramatic picture that can only be described as being a million miles away from what this effort is. And while I applaud Williams for wanting to go down a different avenue, I'm afraid it's an avenue he might have been best not traversing. Now while I had some fairly optimistic hopes for 'The Cottage' I wasn't for one minute expecting a classic. But considering some of the talent involved I thought I should expect something of at least moderate value. Instead, while not completely awful. It falls pretty shy of the mark of being an amusing celebration of the slasher movie.

The problem with Williams's first foray into the Horror/comedy genre is that It's a film that has been clearly dissected into two contrasting halves. Anyone with little or no knowledge of what the movie revolves around may be forgiven for believing they were watching a comedic kidnap caper rather than a camp gory slasher comedy. The first fifty minutes of the movie revolve around the chalk and cheese brothers. The roguish David (Serkis) and the spectacled, geeky Peter's (Shearsmith) amateurish attempts to keep the daughter of a powerful gangster under lock and key. Having kidnapped Tracey (Ellison) the crooked siblings plot to hold her to ransom. This would all be straightforward enough had David selected someone more appropriate than his wimpish brother to aid and abet him. Not forgetting that Tracey is a mouthy, obnoxious shrew who is far more resilient than either would have imagined. Throw in a couple of Chinese hitmen dispatched by Tracey's father to follow the kidnappers to their secret location and circumstances get that extra bit complicated. Especially when the Scouse blonde manages to escape and takes Peter hostage. Making the unwise move of dragging him to the cottage of the title, which is inhabited by a deformed, homicidal farmer who bears a passing resemblance to the infamous Leatherface.

This Horror/comedy outing suffers from the fact that it doesn't always quite know what kind of movie it wants to be. Starting with a fairly long build-up which becomes so infuriating you almost find yourself yelling at the screen. Imploring Willaims to get us to the farmer and his little house of horrors. Too much exposition is taken up with focusing on the brother's failed plans. The Chinese seem nothing more than a disposable means to in some way further the plot and hint at the sheer horror that is to unfold. Resulting in a blatantly one-dimensional caricature. While the ineptitude that is displayed by Peter which initially provides the odd giggle eventually wears thin and becomes rather tedious. The performances from the three main protagonists/antagonists to be fair are fairly strong. Serkis plays straight man to Shearsmiths comically out-of-depth weed. It's a pairing that for the most part pays off as the duo has definite chemistry and Ellison herself provides a suitably foul-mouthed, acid-tongued performance as the bitchy Tracey. But rather than raise a laugh she proves just to be an obscene annoyance rather than an amusing thorn in the duo's side. And she soon begins to grate. Far from there being any tension to counterbalance the laughs. These are shoddily executed and there are no real genuine moments that make your heart race or truly startle you. While the OTT shrieks of Shearsmith as he witnesses the brutality doled out by the psychotic farmer are badly judged and made me raise my eye's to the ceiling. Is this level of deadpan humor that Williams expects us to enjoy? And with the requisite clichés piled on with little or no finesse whatsoever, what we're left with is a substandard piece of fluff that eventually ends on a bad joke which left me feeling somewhat bemused and let down once the movie suddenly cut to black and the end credits subsequently began to role.

So would I recommend The Cottage"? I should think that question really needs no answer. I would advise against bothering with it. But if you do then at least have a look out for veteran British actor Steven O' Donnell (best known for playing Spudgun in TV's 'Bottom')as Tracey's dim-witted stepbrother. His appearance may be one of the few little moments that may elevate the tedium.

Crime? Comedy? Horror?

[gavin6942 · 7/10 · 3 March 2013]

In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.

My experience with Paul Andrew Williams has been brief, though with his limited filmography this probably is no surprise. The first thing of his I saw was "The Children", which was excellent. However, being that he only supplied the story and did not write the screenplay or direct, his influence is hard to gauge.

Next I saw "Cherry Tree Lane", which I do not particularly care for. I will admit that if you want a realistic story of a family being terrorized by teenagers, this is about the best job that could be done. But it is not my cup of tea, and did not leave me overly impressed.

And so, I entered into "The Cottage" a little bit less than confident, and was immediately impressed. Williams has a phenomenal script here, seamlessly blending a crime drama, a comedy and a horror film without missing a beat. As the genres blend together or flow from one to another, it never seems forced or awkward. The success of this feat alone make the film worthwhile, as I am unable to think of any other picture that has even tried this blend.

But beyond the script, the characters are excellently cast and acted (it is nice to see Andy Serkis in a human role). The special effects are well above average. The makeup is quite good. And there is enough action, suspense and humor to really keep just about everyone interested in the picture.

Ultimately, a great film that received too little publicity at the time of its release. Hopefully it is not too late to save it from obscurity.

The Cottage (2008)

[leslie_rulz08 · 6/10 · 9 May 2009]

It is hard to put the plot down in words because there's not really a storyline but rather a story unfolding yet i will try my best.

There are two brothers, David & Peter (played by Any Serkis & Reece Shearsmith). One day they kidnap Tracey (played by Jennifer Ellison) & take her to a selected country house where they commit ransom. But everything goes wrong so they, along with stupid fat man make another attempt to get money. Again it goes wrong. Deadly, even.

So the storyline seems to unfold itself. Also the storyline is unoriginal. Nothing good. AND the movie is kinda uneven. The first half contains a serious action/thriller plot & is played out as a black comedy. I liked that. Then, in the second half, it still keeps the dark humor but goes in slasher mode-UK style. I just think that the second half with the killer didn't really fit the film. The killer didn't really fit the film. The killer was boring & clichéd & obviously a bit too much inspired by Leatherface & Jason Voorheese. The same goes with this flick. The Cottage (2008) was obviously inspired by the horror classics from the 70's early 80's. But again, that didn't fit the film.

Don't get me wrong, the movie was really funny & made me laugh. Yet.........uneven. Anyway if i can look past the story, the villain, THE FACT IT'S clichéd & a plot hole we got a good movie. Of course, the direction, score & acting while not bad, didn't help the movie improve much, the film manages to keep the satire in both halves of this slasher. Another thing, the movie does have a tense scene & has lots of moments. AND, Paul Andrew Williams did both write & direct so that's a bonus point.

More points are that the script is funny but contains swear words in almost every line. & the movies characters like to say "fucking" a lot. Speaking of characters, the main 3 or 4 characters are really likable. One more thing, the movie trys to have a unsettling setting by constructing a dark light upon the film. Instead, it just makes the flick seem dull like other UK/England movies.

As for gore, there is a lot of gore in the second half & a lot of vicious violence. But some of the violence & death scenes are off screen. Shame.

All in all, 3 out of 5 stars.

An uneven UK slasher which for some reason is really likable & entertaining. I really enjoyed it.