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3/10
Tedium in the tabloids
LuvSopr27 April 2024
Another example of an adult movie that might have been much more interesting with the casts and editing styles of a decade earlier, the most interesting thing about Nasty Newshounds may be that the headstrong heroine (Megan Leigh) and sleazy anti-hero (Jon Martin) buck convention by never sleeping together. They barely even interact aside from bickering at the start and the end. Megan Leigh's only real encounter is with Peter North (dull as ever, but those money shots bring in the cash) as their editor.

Martin's use is an indication of his being on his way out of the business - only given one sex scene and said scene (with Kathleen Gentry as a cynical take on Liz Taylor even though Gentry was 30 years younger than Taylor and nearly 15 years younger than Martin) isn't done with any particular care (if anything in this film was). He remains a capable performer, but the closeups on him make him look completely exhausted.

The other strand of the story involves Blake Palmer as an even more thinly veiled jab at Bruce Willis, surprisingly harsh until you remember that Willis was probably at his public nadir at this point (pre-Die Hard, in the midst of a fading Moonlighting and a derided music career). Palmer gets off with a groupie (Barbie Doll) and the same ambitious reporter (Jennifer Steel) who previously put out to North. Leigh also has a moment in here, enjoying herself to Palmer and Doll. These sequences are probably the strongest in the movie, or at least the most unique, as with Palmer and Steel you get another of those straight porn moments where the positions end up focusing so heavily on the man (in this case, specifically, Palmer's impressive girth and, well, his hole) that you wonder if this was done as a service to the gay guys in the VHS-renting crowd.

The joke is you don't watch porn for the plot, but when the porn itself isn't up to much, your mind wanders to the plot. In this case, both story strands falter. Gentry, learning from Martin that her love life no longer interests the public, has a tryst with her bodyguard (Laurel Canyon). Once Martin goes to leave with his new scoop, Canyon runs after him and pushes him in the pool, ruining his footage. Did they not know he was going to run a story when that was clearly the whole conversation? Did Gentry no longer want the career boost?

The photos of Palmer are of him sleeping with a reporter (Steel). Yet during their conversation, Palmer tells her (in what is, of course, treated as a joke) he had to bottom for men in the industry to get famous. Wouldn't that story have sold much more copy for them than a sexcapade with some woman the readers wouldn't know?

As the film finally ends, Martin's character is the biggest loser (in more ways than one) but has the last word. Lor_ has mentioned in his reviews the basic contempt the writer behind this film (and many other films) had for his audience and for the genre that gave him so much employment. After sitting through this movie, and the sour closing notes, I completely get it.
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