Monster Dog (1984)
5/10
So-so. So what?
2 October 2021
Just in case anyone were to be confused about how ham-handed this might be, the film opens with protagonist Vince Raven's pointedly schlocky last music video. The production values, the composition of the cast of characters, and early dialogue all suggest the sort of gauche, marginally exploitative horror-thriller fare many Italian film-makers were churning out in the 80s. That writer-director Claudio Fragasso is also responsible for birthing the infamous 'Troll 2' kind of says it all. 'Monster dog' is passably entertaining, so long as you're able to accept the movie on its level.

Dialogue, characterizations, and the general arrangement of scenes vary only slightly between mechanical and tawdry - but at all times unremarkable, in writing and execution alike. This is also broadly true of the technical craft - lighting, effects, hair, makeup, costume design, sound. The overall narrative is just thin and unexciting - a weak, threadbare imitation of other werewolf flicks or otherwise genre pictures whose plots follow a similar progression. It all serves its purpose, more or less, and that's maybe the best that can be said.

I do enjoy the music in the movie, purposefully campy as some of it is. I think the cast all do the best they can with the material they're given. Yet the best part of 'Monster dog,' the most fun and enjoyable aspect, may actually be just reading up a little bit on the production history. Alice Cooper sounds like a swell guy, and his involvement seemed to have been the high point for cast and crew alike.

In fairness, the feature never pretends to be anything it isn't. Cooper himself has accordingly stated that he signed on for the starring role precisely because he wanted to make a cheesy, low-grade romp. Mission accomplished, I guess. And it's not that this is outright bad - there are a lot worse things you could watch; there are some pretty decent ideas bouncing around here. But it's not meaningfully engaging, only sparingly holding our attention, and unless one is a diehard fan of Alice Cooper or obsessed with werewolf movies, there's no especial reason to sit for this.

'Monster dog' is an adequate diversion if you come across it, but keep your expectations in check, and there's no need to go out of your way to find it.
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