Review of Hellhole

Hellhole (1985)
6/10
I'm living in a hell hole, Don't want to stay in this hell hole, Don't want to die in this hell hole, Girl, get me out of this hell hole.
14 June 2020
In Hellhole's pre-credits sequence, the mother of busty blonde Susan (Judy Landers) is insistent that her daughter takes a shower; mother clearly knows what kind of trashy film this is and exactly what the viewer wants, but Susan doesn't seem to understand, her ablutions proceeding without any sign of nudity.

Somehow, Susan remains fully clothed throughout the entirety of this film, even after she is carted off to Ashland Sanitarium for Women, where almost every other patient is good-looking and frequently naked. Susan is taken to the institution suffering from amnesia after a serious fall following the murder of her mother by vicious thug Silk (Ray Sharkey, who looks like he has just sauntered out of the Blue Oyster Bar). Silk is looking for hidden papers that can incriminate his boss Dr. Monroe (Martin Beck), and believing that Susan knows their whereabouts, he takes a job as an orderly at the sanitarium.

But Silk isn't the only danger at Ashland: troublesome patients are sent to the Hellhole, where wicked lesbian Dr. Fletcher (Mary Woronov) uses them for her lobotomy experiments. Will nice-guy orderly Ron Stevens (Richard Cox) be able to prevent Susan from being Silk's next victim or becoming a drooling zombie at the hands of Fletcher?

Judy Landers fans hoping for the actress to show some skin might be disappointed by her reluctance to strip, but anyone into cult/trash films will still find much to enjoy about this sleazy little B-movie, the film including most of the ingredients to be found in similar women-in-prison films: we get catfights, communal showers, drug-taking lesbians, crazed lobotomy patients, and even a gratuitous mud bath scene, lucky Silk slipping into the muddy tub with two naked hotties ("Double the pleasure, double the fun, a mud bath with two broads is better than one"), proving that you shouldn't judge a man by his leather-boy outfit.

The film also introduces us to the inimitable Robert Z'Dar as a vicious guard, stars Marjoe Gortner as Fletcher's partner in crime, and features exploitation favourite Dyanne Thorne (Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS) as a patient who looks like Cruella DeVille. All that's missing is a decent plot, quality acting and a competent director, but since when were they necessary for a good time?
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