I ran into this little film on YouTube the other day and, I admit I'm not a George Romero fan, but I find little known films from the '60s and '70s interesting, so I watched. Now I see why this non-horror film is not as well known as the Living Dead films.
Chris is an army vet who gets easily bored from adult responsibilities and instead of getting a stable legit job, like working in his dad's baby food company or in an advertising agency that he BS'd his way to get only to squander that opportunity, he plays guitar till he gets sick of hearing his own playing or hanging out with prostitutes (one of whom, Terri, had a child that may or may not be his, it's never really established but he does get the kid ice cream).
Lynn is the daughter of a radio broadcaster who makes a pretty good living starring in local commercials. She meets Chris at the train station (Chris drops off his dad after dad has sexytime with Terri's friend while Lynn accidentally knocks Chris down at the turnstile). He gets her the latest commercial and a day off by posing (on the phone) as her manager and get to know each other. He moves in with her and things look lovey dovey till the "honeymoon phase" ends and reality begins: he refuses to get real work, instead bangs on a typewriter claiming to write a book, and Lynn is pregnant with Chris' child. Aware that Chris is not the Prince Charming he makes himself out to be, she goes to get an abortion (the illegal kind at the time), but changes her mind at the last minute and escapes the secret location - and Chris.
This movie showed some promise but there are several problems. What was the point of the machine in the beginning? It served no purpose in the film, except for an art piece. The storyline is a mess. We never get any clear picture of why Chris refuses to man up and get a stable job. Okay, a baby food company is not the most interesting job, but it's not like he's pursuing anything else either, except for women to live off of. Some of the lines either make no sense or are used to death. The "cut the mustard" reference, for instance, was clever the first time, but after the fifth or sixth time, it gets old pretty quickly. And the ending is not even a hot mess, just a mess. We know Lynn leaves Chris for good (Terri also flies the coop with maybe-Chris' kid) and goes through with the pregnancy (even though we don't know how far along she is), but who is she staying with that's putting together a playpen? It's never established. Does Chris know about the baby? We don't know, but he does mail Lynn a box full of balloons that float away when the package is opened.
I think Romero did what he could in terms of direction. The blame solely lies with the screenwriter. The story is basically two people that have no business being together and banter that's supposed to be witty and clever but isn't. The actor that plays Chris does seen Russell Crowe-ish and the actress playing Lynn is attractive, but the script ruins any potential for them to give great performances. This could've been a great rom-com, but, like Chris, the screenwriter squandered that opportunity.
I hate to say it (again), but There's Always Vanilla doesn't "cut the mustard".
Chris is an army vet who gets easily bored from adult responsibilities and instead of getting a stable legit job, like working in his dad's baby food company or in an advertising agency that he BS'd his way to get only to squander that opportunity, he plays guitar till he gets sick of hearing his own playing or hanging out with prostitutes (one of whom, Terri, had a child that may or may not be his, it's never really established but he does get the kid ice cream).
Lynn is the daughter of a radio broadcaster who makes a pretty good living starring in local commercials. She meets Chris at the train station (Chris drops off his dad after dad has sexytime with Terri's friend while Lynn accidentally knocks Chris down at the turnstile). He gets her the latest commercial and a day off by posing (on the phone) as her manager and get to know each other. He moves in with her and things look lovey dovey till the "honeymoon phase" ends and reality begins: he refuses to get real work, instead bangs on a typewriter claiming to write a book, and Lynn is pregnant with Chris' child. Aware that Chris is not the Prince Charming he makes himself out to be, she goes to get an abortion (the illegal kind at the time), but changes her mind at the last minute and escapes the secret location - and Chris.
This movie showed some promise but there are several problems. What was the point of the machine in the beginning? It served no purpose in the film, except for an art piece. The storyline is a mess. We never get any clear picture of why Chris refuses to man up and get a stable job. Okay, a baby food company is not the most interesting job, but it's not like he's pursuing anything else either, except for women to live off of. Some of the lines either make no sense or are used to death. The "cut the mustard" reference, for instance, was clever the first time, but after the fifth or sixth time, it gets old pretty quickly. And the ending is not even a hot mess, just a mess. We know Lynn leaves Chris for good (Terri also flies the coop with maybe-Chris' kid) and goes through with the pregnancy (even though we don't know how far along she is), but who is she staying with that's putting together a playpen? It's never established. Does Chris know about the baby? We don't know, but he does mail Lynn a box full of balloons that float away when the package is opened.
I think Romero did what he could in terms of direction. The blame solely lies with the screenwriter. The story is basically two people that have no business being together and banter that's supposed to be witty and clever but isn't. The actor that plays Chris does seen Russell Crowe-ish and the actress playing Lynn is attractive, but the script ruins any potential for them to give great performances. This could've been a great rom-com, but, like Chris, the screenwriter squandered that opportunity.
I hate to say it (again), but There's Always Vanilla doesn't "cut the mustard".