1/10
Excruciating!
21 March 2020
OMG! I cannot believe what I just watched. I watched it alone too, because my kids bailed on it after the first 20 minutes. I held on because I couldn't believe any movie could be this awful all the way through. Turns out it can.

Just to give you an idea what this movie is like: if the Kardashians wrote, produced and directed a movie, it would be like this. The acting is universally awful, the story is non-existant and the 'music' (this movie is essentially a series of inane, poorly realised dramatic incidents interspersed with 'music') is dull, tuneless and completely forgettable. Much of it is provided by an artist I have never heard of called Dr Feelx. I hope he's a real doctor (tho I doubt it) because then he'll have a career to fall back on. He's certainly not an actor. He seems like a nice guy though - and he does have a very deep voice, if that counts for anything.

I was perplexed by this movie right from the start, because it is edited together in such a jerky, erratic manner that you never really get to see most of the kids in this movie performing properly or for more than about 2 seconds. You see them for a second or so and then the camera angle changes or it focuses on a different kid or the view is obscured by the back of someone's head.... and so on. I found that annoying until I realised that it's put together that way purposely to conceal the fact that hardly any of these people - kids and adults - have any talent. If they do, it isn't showcased in this. Most outrageous of all are those poor kids admitted to the eponymous academy to hone their modelling 'skills'. These poor young girls spend the movie walking about 5 meters, striking a pose then walking back again. There is also a kid who supposedly plays an awesome saxaphone. He must be pretty good, because he plays very detailed pieces without ever moving his fingers on the keys.

This is advertised as a family film. It certainly didn't appeal to my family. The movie may be called 'Teen Star Academy' but no teen would sit through this.

I note that a goodly number of reviewers have given this movie rave reviews. I just finished reading them. Going by the grammar and the similarities in writing style, I suspect these positive views have all been written by the one person using different aliases. Someone associated with the movie perhaps??

When this was over I was left wondering why it was even made (although I note that two of the actors have the same surname as one of the writers. Coincidence?). If you make it to the end of this, you'll be wondering the same thing.
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