Review of Fresh Horses

Fresh Horses (1988)
1/10
It Was Worse Than I Remembered
16 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I knew that I did not like this movie from way back when it first came out. I can't remember if I saw it in the movies or on VCR tape. Remember those? Seemed like it took years for them to be released so they could show it on HBO, maybe Showtime. Or just poor marketing decisions that media companies seem to make. Anywhoo, I just remembered that I didn't like it. I decided to give it another try thinking maybe I would get it in a different way with all the wisdom that comes with age. Nope. *Spoilers Ahead* This movie was actually much, much worse than I remembered. I have doubts that I even was able to get very far into this movie - or that I was even remembering the same movie. I mean, I could not have forgotten the absolute decimation of my teen-hood with the very long and terrible gang rape of Molly Ringwald in the back of Andrew McCarthy's car. But then maybe she wasn't? I dunno. At least it wasn't by Andrew McCarthy's terribly boring character.

Did the audience really deserve that in addition to the lackluster characters, flat cinematography, socio-economic stereotypes, and 80's hair and clothes? Oh, and let's not forget the overly long and dull opening with the terrible music.

But the movie doesn't leave us hanging, there's also an ending that was clearly written for a completely different movie as it's the only scene in which Molly and Andrew's characters have chemistry. If I were editing, that's the only scene I'd say. Along with a few clips of young Ben Stiller and Viggo Mortenson - because, wow....
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