Our intrepid quartet of adventurers rent an RV, which is quite expensive in the real world, so that they can drive it, park it, and then go camping in the woods a mile away. When asked why they rented an expensive RV when the plan is to camp in tents some distance away, the reply is that one of the male leads needs a place to charge his camcorder batteries.
Never mind that one of the male leads drives a Jeep, which would make for a much better trail vehicle than to the RV. Never mind that packing extra batteries would make much more sense than spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars to rent an RV that you aren't going to spend any time in.
The premise of this movie is that one of the male leads is so impressed and so fascinated by the other, that he thinks his pal merits a documentary. Then we have the obligatory mini-make out session between the two female leads on video. While hiking on a trail, the group spots a large, mysterious figure down in a gully. When the figure bolts, Mr. Documenting-my-fabulous-friend goes running after it, leaving the others behind. Unable to find any trace of the creature, he returns, and everyone else is pissed at him for running off like he did.
Mr. Documentarian then interviews his fellow campers, who each individually tell him what a tool he's being. Of course, he is offended and mystified by their attitudes towards him. Can't they see the genius behind his film? Don't they understand him as a film-maker and an artist?
Then, we have the obligatory sitting around the campfire, getting so drunk that no one can speak without slurring scene, where our intrepid campers suddenly sober up when they hear strange and ominous roaring and growling in the darkness and distance. We are then treated to the mysterious, armed stranger who comes out of nowhere, supposedly looking for his lost dog in the woods... without a flashlight, a lantern, a torch, or even a Cyalume lightstick. Mysterious stranger offers everyone a drink from his flask, tends to the campfire, briefly plays with one of the camper's flashlights, and then ambles off into the darkness again.
Later that same evening, the mysterious creature shows up, and Mr. Documentarian wants to go chasing after it. Instead, the group treks back to the RV to take shelter. Along the way, Mr. Documentarian gets separated from the group. While the others wait in the RV, something climbs up onto the roof and starts banging around. A moment later, Mr. Documentarian shows up. There is an argument as to whether they should all take off in the RV right then, or wait until the morning. Mr. Documentarian refuses to leave without his gear, so they all agree to spend the night in the RV. The plan is to go to camp in the morning, collect their things, and then leave.
The next morning, Mr. So Fascinating That he Merits his own Documentary goes missing. The girls are worried about Mr. Fascinating, but Mr. Documentarian isn't worried about his bestest buddy and life long pal at all. Instead, he pissed at the girls for being worried about their missing friend. Mr. Documentarian sinks to new levels of a**holery by insulting and threatening the girls at every opportunity.
The remaining three members of the group go to look for Mr. Fascinating, and when they returned, the RV has been vandalized. Mr. Documentarian has a conniption fit, and has somehow come to the conclusion that Mr. Fascinating is responsible. He runs off into the woods, screaming and shouting about kicking someone's ass. Then, he finds a bloody clump of something, and sees a figure running off in the distance. Mr. Documentarian then proceeds to vomit for the next two or three minutes. He returns to the RV, shaken by what he's seen. He tells his girlfriend that he loves her, and sets off to get help.
The girls are left at the RV, and are attacked by the mysterious creature, which breaks inside. They flee the RV into the darkness, and fund the gutted remains of Mr. Fascinating. After huddling in the darkness for a few moments, they run off again, and stumble across a paced area. They are then informed by someone over a loudspeaker that they are in a restricted area. As they are told to remain calm and stay where they are, they are attacked by something off-screen. There is growling, machine-gun fire, and the sound of air-raid sirens. The girls flee again, and find themselves in what appears to be some sort of military base. There's an old army truck, and a horse. One of the girls arms herself with a claw hammer while the other has the video camera. They are again attacked and chased by the mysterious creature.
They dash off into the woods again, and follow a fence line. This leads them to a house, and the creature comes after them again. They manage to get into the house. This is one hell of an apex predator chasing them; they only successfully fight it off and escape about four or five times by the time that they get into this house.
The girls begin to search the house, and are again attacked by the monster. They flee once more, but are licked in the basement by an unseen someone. In the basement, they tear down some loose boards and manage to make their way outside. There, they meet Mr. Naked Except for a Hospital Gown, and Mr. Half-Naked and I'm Going to Kill You.
They are rescued by someone with machine-guns and a truck, and are attacked along the way by crazed people. Mr. Rescuer With a Machine-gun leads them into a facility that has been attacked by something, where they find more dead bodies, and Ms. I'm Terrified Don't Leave Me Behind.
Mr. Machine-gun takes the camera, and records a very pregant something as it is giving birth. As he films, Mr. Bloody Face attacks him. He fights off Mr. Bloody Face, and everyone bolts again. They are confronted by more men with machine-guns, who shot at them. They are attacked again by more bloody, crazy people, and one of the two original girls gets her head blown off. The remaining gurl of the original two makes it to a helicopter, and is air-lifted away.
This movie has no idea what the Hell it is. It starts out as a mysterious creature in the forest movie, evolves into 28 Days Later, and ends up with an ambiguous Cloverfield type ending, with broken strings of video images and communications.
Fortunately, I can tell you what it is; a colossal waste of time. We have zombies, clandestine experiments, shaggy beasts that were apparently once human, and no cogent explanation for any of it.
Never mind that one of the male leads drives a Jeep, which would make for a much better trail vehicle than to the RV. Never mind that packing extra batteries would make much more sense than spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars to rent an RV that you aren't going to spend any time in.
The premise of this movie is that one of the male leads is so impressed and so fascinated by the other, that he thinks his pal merits a documentary. Then we have the obligatory mini-make out session between the two female leads on video. While hiking on a trail, the group spots a large, mysterious figure down in a gully. When the figure bolts, Mr. Documenting-my-fabulous-friend goes running after it, leaving the others behind. Unable to find any trace of the creature, he returns, and everyone else is pissed at him for running off like he did.
Mr. Documentarian then interviews his fellow campers, who each individually tell him what a tool he's being. Of course, he is offended and mystified by their attitudes towards him. Can't they see the genius behind his film? Don't they understand him as a film-maker and an artist?
Then, we have the obligatory sitting around the campfire, getting so drunk that no one can speak without slurring scene, where our intrepid campers suddenly sober up when they hear strange and ominous roaring and growling in the darkness and distance. We are then treated to the mysterious, armed stranger who comes out of nowhere, supposedly looking for his lost dog in the woods... without a flashlight, a lantern, a torch, or even a Cyalume lightstick. Mysterious stranger offers everyone a drink from his flask, tends to the campfire, briefly plays with one of the camper's flashlights, and then ambles off into the darkness again.
Later that same evening, the mysterious creature shows up, and Mr. Documentarian wants to go chasing after it. Instead, the group treks back to the RV to take shelter. Along the way, Mr. Documentarian gets separated from the group. While the others wait in the RV, something climbs up onto the roof and starts banging around. A moment later, Mr. Documentarian shows up. There is an argument as to whether they should all take off in the RV right then, or wait until the morning. Mr. Documentarian refuses to leave without his gear, so they all agree to spend the night in the RV. The plan is to go to camp in the morning, collect their things, and then leave.
The next morning, Mr. So Fascinating That he Merits his own Documentary goes missing. The girls are worried about Mr. Fascinating, but Mr. Documentarian isn't worried about his bestest buddy and life long pal at all. Instead, he pissed at the girls for being worried about their missing friend. Mr. Documentarian sinks to new levels of a**holery by insulting and threatening the girls at every opportunity.
The remaining three members of the group go to look for Mr. Fascinating, and when they returned, the RV has been vandalized. Mr. Documentarian has a conniption fit, and has somehow come to the conclusion that Mr. Fascinating is responsible. He runs off into the woods, screaming and shouting about kicking someone's ass. Then, he finds a bloody clump of something, and sees a figure running off in the distance. Mr. Documentarian then proceeds to vomit for the next two or three minutes. He returns to the RV, shaken by what he's seen. He tells his girlfriend that he loves her, and sets off to get help.
The girls are left at the RV, and are attacked by the mysterious creature, which breaks inside. They flee the RV into the darkness, and fund the gutted remains of Mr. Fascinating. After huddling in the darkness for a few moments, they run off again, and stumble across a paced area. They are then informed by someone over a loudspeaker that they are in a restricted area. As they are told to remain calm and stay where they are, they are attacked by something off-screen. There is growling, machine-gun fire, and the sound of air-raid sirens. The girls flee again, and find themselves in what appears to be some sort of military base. There's an old army truck, and a horse. One of the girls arms herself with a claw hammer while the other has the video camera. They are again attacked and chased by the mysterious creature.
They dash off into the woods again, and follow a fence line. This leads them to a house, and the creature comes after them again. They manage to get into the house. This is one hell of an apex predator chasing them; they only successfully fight it off and escape about four or five times by the time that they get into this house.
The girls begin to search the house, and are again attacked by the monster. They flee once more, but are licked in the basement by an unseen someone. In the basement, they tear down some loose boards and manage to make their way outside. There, they meet Mr. Naked Except for a Hospital Gown, and Mr. Half-Naked and I'm Going to Kill You.
They are rescued by someone with machine-guns and a truck, and are attacked along the way by crazed people. Mr. Rescuer With a Machine-gun leads them into a facility that has been attacked by something, where they find more dead bodies, and Ms. I'm Terrified Don't Leave Me Behind.
Mr. Machine-gun takes the camera, and records a very pregant something as it is giving birth. As he films, Mr. Bloody Face attacks him. He fights off Mr. Bloody Face, and everyone bolts again. They are confronted by more men with machine-guns, who shot at them. They are attacked again by more bloody, crazy people, and one of the two original girls gets her head blown off. The remaining gurl of the original two makes it to a helicopter, and is air-lifted away.
This movie has no idea what the Hell it is. It starts out as a mysterious creature in the forest movie, evolves into 28 Days Later, and ends up with an ambiguous Cloverfield type ending, with broken strings of video images and communications.
Fortunately, I can tell you what it is; a colossal waste of time. We have zombies, clandestine experiments, shaggy beasts that were apparently once human, and no cogent explanation for any of it.