Hey, characters, we're all having a tense time. Let's go on a small boat where there's nothing to do in the middle of nowhere and drink a lot. Great idea.
Every character in this schlockfest is a cheap ripoff you've seen before:
Newscaster "babe" is a low-rent Renée Zellweger with the annoying voice of Leslie Mann. Unfortunately, she's the only sensible character.
Pirate guy is the Dollar Tree version of the bad guy who is always standing in the back left of the mob boss's office. Normally he never gets any lines. This movie shows you why.
The two main guys are basically indistinguishable. No, wait, the creepier guy has a cleft chin.
Every character in this schlockfest is a cheap ripoff you've seen before:
Newscaster "babe" is a low-rent Renée Zellweger with the annoying voice of Leslie Mann. Unfortunately, she's the only sensible character.
Pirate guy is the Dollar Tree version of the bad guy who is always standing in the back left of the mob boss's office. Normally he never gets any lines. This movie shows you why.
The two main guys are basically indistinguishable. No, wait, the creepier guy has a cleft chin.