rolandjordaan2 Review of The Four: Battle for Stardom

The Four: Battle for Stardom (2018)

The Four: Battle for Stardom (Season 1) Review

[3/10 · 15 September 2018]

So as exactly two people read my 'The Four: Battle for Stardom (Season 2)' review, this apparently was enough inspiration for me to do something completely masochistic and see where this 'brilliant' show got its origins...that's right, I have now seen 'The Four' season 1...just give me a moment to take that reality in again...okay...I'm just going say it - this is a million times worse than season 2, I'm going to repeat that statement: THIS IS A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN SEASON 2! That's a sentence I just wrote, and I, honest to God, did not think that could ever be possible, because watching Season 2 felt like watching the Jersey Shore version of American Idol, it made me sad for television, it made me sad for humanity and it made me sad for my brain cells. Where the hell do I even start with this...? (insert curse word). Now, even though I left this out of my Season 2 review, there was one thing about it I actually really did like, and that was that everyone, even the contestants that didn't get to challenge, were all pretty good singers; this gave the show some credibility, as it's not those laughable American Idol idiots being rejected here, these were all arguably decent singers and by the judges rejecting them, we at least knew the bar was set pretty high here. That's not quite the case with season 1...oh don't get me wrong, the panel claims it is, but no, most these contestant are pretty subpar, if even that. We open with the titular 'Four' doing a sing along of a children's song; here we're reminded that these four were hand picked by the panel of experts, while I was silently making a list of unused kitchen utensils that I felt could probably challenge any of them; I'm not even going to bother introducing them this time, because - big surprise - they're all eliminated before the end of the second episode. Really there are only two contestants at all worth mentioning from this season, the first is 16 year old Zhavia; the first contestant to challenge and dethrone one of the original Four...I did not care for Zhavia; as a singer she was just okay and as a contestant she was unlikable, apparently the panel couldn't see this though, as they immediately start treating her like the reincarnated version of Marie Antoinette, even asking her (and only her) to weigh in with her opinion on new contestants (wtf DJ Kahled); it reaches the point where, not even subtly, they are, on screen, using it as a discussion point that they don't want to say yes to new contestants, out of fear that those contestants will be able to eliminate Zhavia - uhm judges, here's a thought, if you've already chosen your winner 30 minutes into the pilot, maybe just give her a damn record deal and don't make us sit through another 5 episodes of this. I also love how by episode 3 they are constantly referring to her as a survivor and how she's been the longest surviving contestant in the history of the show...even though at that point she had literally only sang one song; it gets so bad that new contestants debate whether to even bother challenging her, considering how long she has already survived...again, one song, she has survived one challenge. The other contestant I want to mention is Jason Warrior (yes, that is apparently his real name); this little turd single handedly starts the craze that every contestant needs to have a sad story and then use it as a selling point for the rest of the show; in retrospect, his story is nowhere near as tragic as he seems to think it is, but he goes all out with it, even going so far as yelling at new contestants about how his hard life has made him an artist and no-one can compete with him - let's just call it Kanye Sydrome. This does lead to one of my favourite scenes though, after he is finally eliminated in episode 5, he creepily confronts Meghan Trainor and then proceeds to sing to her, her own song 'Like I'm Gonna Lose you'; it's one of those TV moments that has to be seen to understand, but this is about as uncomfortable as it can possibly get, and he is ultimately removed by security. Another point worth mentioning, is that 'The Four' actually starts with Four judges, that's right, the first four episodes includes, ex-President of Republic Records, Charlie Walk - the one guy, who, when compared to, makes me want to be BFFs with Diddy. This guy, by far, is the worst part of the entire season. He has no on-screen presence, no likeability, no chemistry with the other judges and even his opinion is highly questionable; something Diddy agrees with and actually calls him out on, on bloody public television; uhm guys, if your panel of experts are accusing each other of not being well enough informed on certain music genres to be judging it, maybe they should sort that out off screen and not have your judges openly announce to the entire world just how badly put together this show is. So, like in Season 2, all judges need to approve a contestant for him/her to progress, so this is basically the first episode: Diddy, Meghan and Khaled loves a contestant, Charlie hates him, contestant is rejected, Diddy, Meghan and Khaled hates a contestant, Charlie loves him, contestant is rejected...the only way anyone eventually starts getting past the judges is when Khaled starts threatening to walk off if certain contestants are rejected. Then the best part: in episode 5, Charlie is suddenly gone, no acknowledgement, no explanation, he has just vanished, the rules have been adapted to make it work for just three judges and they go on like there were never four judges to begin with. For if you're wondering, Charlie had been accused of sexual harassment and was not only fired from the show, but also as the president of Republic Records; good riddance, whether he was guilty or not. The last point I want to touch on, and I feel almost unfair mentioning this, because they did rectify it in season 2, but still, here it's just hilarious - in season 2 'The Comeback Episode' was just that, 8 popular contestants that were eliminated, are brought back to battle it out and try and regain their seats. Here though, that's only the second half of the episode, with only four contestants brought back; the first half is still bringing in new contestants, two of which actually win their challenges and places in the finale and one that actually wins the show - that's right, the winner of 'The Four' Season 1, was only introduced in the semi finals, meaning we had only heard her perform once before the finale. Diddy, I'm going to talk slowly so that even a self proclaimed genius like you can follow; I get that you're trying to find the next super star, but this is still a television show and in order for the viewers to feel any kind of excitement over the announcement of the winner - we need to feel some sort of connection with that winner, we cannot do that in only one and a half episodes - yes I know, it's getting heated in here, you can take your shirt off again. I think I can sum this whole season up with one final thought, the winner of this season actually appeared multiple times in season 2 and her name was mentioned in almost every episode - and yet this had left so little of an impact, that I still had zero recollection about who that winner was, until her name was actually announced...so at the least, I guess it can keep it's surprise factor for multiple viewings. Go back to rapping Diddy, your show sucks.