Zhang Yimou's Hero has the dubious privilege of being the most gorgeous movie with a reprehensible message I've ever watched in theaters ("Hey, if the tyrant prevails at least the war will end and we'll all be cool, amirite? Also, check out this awesome fight scene with a red-and-yellow colour palette!").
Yimou seemed to make an amend of sorts with Curse of the Golden Flower, which was less visually luscious but had the good grace to squint with horror at the brutality of absolute power celebrated by the ending of Hero.
In The Great Wall, a Chinese-American fantasy epic, politics take a backseat (other than a generic "sacrifice for the greater good" theme) and the director goes for pure schlock - call it Yimou's Pacific Rim.
See, what history books fail to mention is how the titular Wall was built to protect ancient China against hordes of green telepathic alien hyenas. That's kind of a grievous omission, history books. Cue a noble order defending the Wall, including strategist Andy Lau and commander Tian Jing, who knows how to rock a tight-fitting armor.
Cue Matt Damon - who can be fine in the right part (The Talented Mr Ripley) but is on auto-pilot here - and Oberyn Martell, unshaven Western mercenaries gaping at the unusual sight before jumping into the fray.
Cue Willem Dafoe as an older prisoner, a role tailor-made for the purpose of delivering exposition... except he doesn't even get to deliver exposition. Oh, there is a subplot about gunpowder, but it doesn't go anywhere and Oberyn Martell could have carried it alone. I guess Willem Dafoe is there to justify why members of the order can speak English fluently in ancient China: Willem Dafoe taught them. I appreciate your sudden concern for realism, movie, but - given the green telepathic alien hyenas - you shouldn't have bothered.
All the outcry for white guy Matt Damon starring in a story about the Great Wall could have been saved for the movie being, you know, not very good. The first act is enjoyable in a mindless kind of way with the spectacle of various units wearing specific hues of brightly colored armors depending on their battle specialization... although the blue ones who bungee jump on monsters really drew the short stick.
Sadly, the movie peters out in a last act which is unintentionally funny ("Oh no, the monsters did pass through the Wall while we weren't watching! All five millions of them!"), obvious and anticlimactic: the Good Guys only need to blow up the Alien Queen, which provides wi-fi connection to the whole horde. Kind of like the last act of Edge of Tomorrow (the worst part of it).
Pity: with the same endearingly ludicrous high-concept premise but stronger characters and a tighter script (and more sense of humour, because you really can't play this stuff with a straight face), The Great Wall could have become something of a cult classic.
(Also, this is a cheap shot... but the movie poster, with its ominous "What were they trying to keep out?" tagline under the actor's giant mug, looks like the Great Wall was built to defend China against Matt Damon. Mission failed, Wall).
5,5/10
Yimou seemed to make an amend of sorts with Curse of the Golden Flower, which was less visually luscious but had the good grace to squint with horror at the brutality of absolute power celebrated by the ending of Hero.
In The Great Wall, a Chinese-American fantasy epic, politics take a backseat (other than a generic "sacrifice for the greater good" theme) and the director goes for pure schlock - call it Yimou's Pacific Rim.
See, what history books fail to mention is how the titular Wall was built to protect ancient China against hordes of green telepathic alien hyenas. That's kind of a grievous omission, history books. Cue a noble order defending the Wall, including strategist Andy Lau and commander Tian Jing, who knows how to rock a tight-fitting armor.
Cue Matt Damon - who can be fine in the right part (The Talented Mr Ripley) but is on auto-pilot here - and Oberyn Martell, unshaven Western mercenaries gaping at the unusual sight before jumping into the fray.
Cue Willem Dafoe as an older prisoner, a role tailor-made for the purpose of delivering exposition... except he doesn't even get to deliver exposition. Oh, there is a subplot about gunpowder, but it doesn't go anywhere and Oberyn Martell could have carried it alone. I guess Willem Dafoe is there to justify why members of the order can speak English fluently in ancient China: Willem Dafoe taught them. I appreciate your sudden concern for realism, movie, but - given the green telepathic alien hyenas - you shouldn't have bothered.
All the outcry for white guy Matt Damon starring in a story about the Great Wall could have been saved for the movie being, you know, not very good. The first act is enjoyable in a mindless kind of way with the spectacle of various units wearing specific hues of brightly colored armors depending on their battle specialization... although the blue ones who bungee jump on monsters really drew the short stick.
Sadly, the movie peters out in a last act which is unintentionally funny ("Oh no, the monsters did pass through the Wall while we weren't watching! All five millions of them!"), obvious and anticlimactic: the Good Guys only need to blow up the Alien Queen, which provides wi-fi connection to the whole horde. Kind of like the last act of Edge of Tomorrow (the worst part of it).
Pity: with the same endearingly ludicrous high-concept premise but stronger characters and a tighter script (and more sense of humour, because you really can't play this stuff with a straight face), The Great Wall could have become something of a cult classic.
(Also, this is a cheap shot... but the movie poster, with its ominous "What were they trying to keep out?" tagline under the actor's giant mug, looks like the Great Wall was built to defend China against Matt Damon. Mission failed, Wall).
5,5/10