1/10
Brandon Lee is cringing in his grave
10 April 2015
"A man has an idea. The idea attracts others, like-minded. The idea expands. The idea becomes the institution. What was the idea?" - Top Dollar (Michael Wincott) in the original "The Crow"

So, a murdered ex-con comes back from the dead, paints himself up like a member of the KISS Army, and goes after the Satanic cult that killed him and his girlfriend - a cult led by the blonde girl from "American Pie" and the guy from "Bones". The premise of "The Crow: Wicked Prayer", the fourth and (here's hoping) final entry in the "The Crow" franchise, sounds like the setup to a joke... and well, it is a joke. Not a funny one, though.

"The Crow: Wicked Prayer" is the final nail in the "Crow" series' coffin. The acting, dialog and direction is awful, and the story is both ridiculous and boring. Not one character on screen could be recognized as a real person. Really, it doesn't get much worse than this.

To think the franchise started off with such promise. The 1994 film "The Crow" did something that had never been done before: it took elements of the ghost story and revenge thriller genres and told a story about characters we liked and cared about. It had real, human heart to go along with the balletic violence and Gothic set pieces. That, and the late Brandon Lee's iconic performance, made the film a wonderful experience, one of those rare movies you can watch over and over again, each time finding something new.

Then Edward R. Pressman Films, the studio that produced the movie, smelled money, and started grinding out grade-Z sequels. "The Crow: City of Angels" was dull and lifeless, and "The Crow: Salvation" was incoherent and silly. "The Crow: Wicked Prayer" has the dubious distinction of being far and away the worst of these sequels.

A certain amount of melodrama is to be expected in the revenge movie genre, but "Wicked Prayer" is as histrionic as a teenager's dream journal. Should you actually decide to watch this movie, it's my duty to warn you that you'll have to listen to lines like "Revenge is easy - forgetting is hard", "You owe me two lives and a pair of perfect blue eyes", and my personal favorite, "Quoth the raven nevermore, motherf---er!".

It doesn't help that director Lance Muniga doesn't seem to know the difference between a film and a music video; he substitutes explosions, pointless jump cuts and imitation "Matrix" fight choreography for plot, character and dialog.

He doesn't know how to cast or work with actors, either. Edward Furlong is horribly miscast as an undead avenger: he pouts, whines, and looks like a trick-or-treater in the Crow makeup. We don't care if he gets revenge or not. David Boreanz and Tara Reid are quite possibly the least intimidating Satanists ever seen on film - they call each other "dawg" and "shorty", fer Chrissakes. And poor Dennis Hopper just looks embarrassed in a cameo as a Satanic priest who speaks in Ebonics ("The devil will be your homey forevermore!").

Like the "Jaws" sequels and the Joel Schumacher "Batman" movies, "The Crow: Wicked Prayer" is depressing to watch. A brilliant idea has been co-opted and ruined by a bunch of amateurs. The idea has become the institution. It's time to move on.
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