Review of Cyborg

Cyborg (1989)
1/10
One of the worst science fiction movies I've seen
29 June 2013
This is one of the first movies of Albert Pyun , who is considered by many (including me) as one of the worst movie directors in history of cinema . After watching "Cyborg" it's not hard to understand why. It's also not hard to understand why Cannon films bankrupted.

The movie is called "Cyborg " despite the fact it has nothing to do with the story . Yes , there is one cyborg in this movie , but you could easily replace it with a human with data on CD and the movie would work the same way . Anyway , this movie seems to be inspired by "Mad Max" , "Terminator" , "Blade runner" and "Highlander" . I recommend for you to watch them instead of Pyun's "masterpiece". Interesting thing – "Cyborg" is not set in the Blade Runner universe , but one of the characters makes a reference by saying "we have a skin job".

This is an earlier Van Damme effort – I think he's incredibly lucky that after making this piece of (censored) he STILL was able to become a star. I do like some of his movies ("Bloodsport" , "Kickboxer " , "Nowhere to run"), so you can't say I'm criticizing "Cyborg" for the fact it's Van Damme movie .

"Cyborg" fails mainly because of two things – screenplay and direction. The story written by Kitty Chambers (is that a real name ?!) is thin . All the characters seem to be named after guitars (LOL) ! I've already told you about the pointless title of the movie. There is one HUGE mistake in continuity – there's an incredible age difference between two characters just because the movie wants to shock audience with a twist . In the end "twist" is predictable and illogical. The movie never really bothers to describe us the universe in which the whole story is happening . All the characters are one-dimensional and unlikable. The movie makes a few feeble attempts at humanizing the characters, but it's a fruitless effort. Not to mention the dialogue is either cheesy or uninteresting.

The funniest thing is the whole movie could be a decent popcorn flick , but Pyun directs it as if he was making "Seven samurai" or something (LOL) . "Cyborg" is far more than campy , it's INCREDIBLY CAMPY because it's so pretentious . In Pyun's vision Van Damme's hero is a new Jesus / Messiah. There are many crosses in this movie and a crucifixion (LOL) . My favourite scene is the one with the weeding cake – so touching … Pyun tries to make his movie stylish and exciting , but fails.

The sets look like crap and the whole film reeks of low budget . At first it was supposed to be a sequel to "Masters of universe " with Dolph Lundgren , but something went wrong and they decided to use the sets to make "Cyborg".

The acting is tragedy . EVERYBODY gives an awful performance , but the special mention goes to the "actor" who plays the villain . He looks laughable with his blue eyes , sunglasses and handsome face . Not to mention his growling voice and the way he overreacts the cheesiest lines of dialogue… And why the hell is he screaming and grunting so many times ?! One of the worst performances I've seen EVER.

The good things ? I think the fight scenes (very often in slow motion) are actually OK. Unfortunately , without interesting characters, good acting, and a focused energy this movie is a complete disaster. A strong contender for the list of worst movies ever made . I give it 1/10. If you're a Van Damme fan and you want to see him in a decent sci-fi movie you should watch "Timecop".
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