Page Eight (2011 TV Movie)
6/10
British to the core... or should I say snore?
19 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I must say its pretty incredible just how different British films are from American ones.

This is a spy thriller, sort of a James Bond for people who don't like guns. There are some very well known Brit actors in it, including the ravishing Rachel Weisz, her of the remarkable eyebrows. I will freely admit she is the main reason I watched this. Unfortunately she is not required to do very much other than look sad and pretty, which she does incredibly well I might add.

This is one of the Brit films where there is lots of talking. Clever dialogue. Except it never sounds as if its anything real people would say. The only character who seems vaguely real is the journalist spy played by the chappie from Trainspotting.

Lead man Bill Nighy is a major problem. He's gone from character actor to leading man based on a growing fan base (I suspect largely among the ladies) but the fellow has all the expressiveness of a kitchen table.

He simply can't emote, whether he's talking to his daughter, his ex- wife, the woman who wants to take him down, his new girlfriend... it doesn't matter WHO he's talking to, he remains exactly the same. I mean, I understand stiff upper lip and all that, but for God's sake, this is acting, man. So act! You can only take so much stoicism.

And no, the fact that he collects art, likes jazz and sleeps with lots of women doesn't make him more interesting, because none of it is plausible!

Plus, there are plot elements that are baffling. He is supposedly left without a penny after his noble sacrifice, and yet he abandons his flat that is apparently stuffed with collectible artworks, selling only one and giving another away (along with his car) to his new girlfriend.

Why doesn't he sell all the paintings? What will become of his flat? It's as if the film makers expect us not to care. But we do care! As usual, they simply can't pull a good ending together. Too many loose strands are left untied.

I also sat through half of the recent remake of Smiley's People and found it similarly dull. The otherwise superb Gary Oldman was charged on that occasion with imitating a wooden mannequin. Is it a prerequisite before entering government service that you have to be a crushing bore with a Cambridge education? Given this evidence, it would appear so.

Come on chaps, let's give it a bit more spark and sizzle next time? And I don't think it needs to be James Bond, please God no. Just some more excitement. More war war and less jaw jaw, to paraphrase a famous Brit. Thanks ever so much!
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