Bloodsuckers (2005 TV Movie)
2/10
Pathetic
28 June 2010
Basically, a failed TV pilot that wants to ground a video game.

The word "bad" doesn't quite do it justice. The characters are all one dimensional, 'surprises' in the plot twist are non-existent(it's all predictable), the relationships between the characters are both cliché-ridden and yet typical of right-wing 'fantasy'-fiction exceptional ism (the bisexual vampiress, indeed - the perfect paranoid male adolescent's fantasy!) - and what can be said about the 'dialog' (delivered in the hammiest performances I've ever seen)? - Ed Wood would be proud.

The action scenes are all right, so I give it an extra star. Otherwise, if it weren't so rapidly paced, it would be excruciatingly dull - indeed, a lot of it is, anyway.

Heavy metal music doesn't automatically make a movie exciting. Oh, and I found the gore just plain funny. Vampires eating torn-off limbs - as if at a drive-in fast-food restaurant. Hilarious.

Okay if you have nothing better to do with your life.... But of course you do.
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