1/10
Unhistorical history
7 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Bathory is a very boring and dull movie. The dialogues are awful, the characters are weak and the political situation depicted is so simple and primitive as if it was made up by pupils of a Slovakian primary school.

The battle of Esztergom (the city is Hungary's first and main archdiocesan centre), one of the 12 most important battles against Turkish occupation, is fought in this film among a dozen tents.

Caravaggio (who never went to Upper Hungary) is an important character of this film. Represented as a bisexual having sexual relationship with Erzsébet Báthory, he escapes from custody through some secret dungeons nobody knew but him. Ridiculous.

The monks in the movie invent some kind of photo-taking camera, a parachute, a stethoscope-like monitoring bug and roller skating with hairspring shoes that automatically climb mountains.

The makers of the movie suggest that the first Hungarian library was founded in the early 17. century. In reality there was a library in my homeland as early as the year 1000. Have they heard about the Corvinas?

The audience is also told that in the 16. century 13 languages were spoken in Hungary, (which did not exist as a whole, as one third was occupied by the Habsburg Empire, one third by the Turkish Empire). I would say, there had to be even more different languages in a chaos like that, not just thirteen. People watching the movie are not told either that Hungary was torn to three pieces at that time and that a considerable population of Hungarians died in the 150 years of fighting against Turkish invaders.

The main language spoken in the film was English/Slovakian with a few sentences in Hungarian, German and Italian. The whole movie should have been filmed in Hungarian or better in Latin, since those were the tongues the noblemen talked in. Thus the film is upside down, since only some of the supporting actors have only a few sentences in Hungarian. (The ones that should be in Slovakian.) That's why one might conclude that Hungarians could say only things like "f*ck you", "you b*tch", "the rotten dogs sh*t their pants", "oh, my God", etc.

There is also a very lame performance of János Szappanyos of Debreczen's poem (Militaris congratulatio comitatus Bihariensis) which, by the way, was dedicated to István Bocskai, not to Nádasdy.

The distorted character of György Thurzó is really pathetic as he plays the role of the main villain, responsible for nearly all the miseries of Erzsébet Báthory, even for the death of her relative, the distant Gábor Báthory, Prince of Transylvania.

In general Hungarian noblemen are depicted as stupid, uneducated and aggressive. In actual fact, the court of Ferenc Nádasdy was a splendid example of fine renaissance art. He even had a printing-house in Sárvár.

I am a Hungarian historian, I wrote my thesis from XVI. century and I feel a bit funny about how Slovaks make a derogatory film about Hungarian history with British actors. Tünde Lengyel, the historian who helped the development of this film proved to be really professional when creating the background by costumes and scenery. It's a shame she could not alter the stupidity of the whole movie.
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