7/10
Funny Alien Conquerors
8 September 2008
Speaking as someone who loathed such witless films as DUMB AND DUMBERER, Chris Mathieson's film EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS was never an obvious choice. But Mathieson's reputation as a writer of minor cult material (The BILL AND TEDs 1 & 2, MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD) gave this, frequently slated, vehicle some curiosity value. Two gormlessly arrogant aliens, 'Du-ug' and 'My-ik' from the planet Kabijj arrive on Earth with a mission to behead the population within 48 hours. Unfortunately the deadly swords they've brought meant for the job are reduced to the size of cocktail sticks on arrival. While they think up alternate plans to enslave humanity, they become temporary lodgers with slacker Kenny. Now awaiting in terror the arrival of their alien enforcer Croker they are strangely drawn by the discovery of two odd mono-browed women at the laundrette, and the attractions of hairy feet..

CONQUERORS demands a particular sense of humour to enjoy it thoroughly which undoubtedly splits audiences down the middle (my girlfriend for instance told me never to play it in her presence again) but I found it continuously amusing, with few flat moments. Despite the ramshackle nature of it all, there's a lot here that's just naive and plumb-weird enough to stay in the mind. This while it comes nowhere near the grim, unfunny commercialism of a DUMB AND DUMBERER. The difference is that the off the wall naivity of CONQUERORS is a saving grace, not a lumbering handicap. Mathieson clearly wrote out what *he* thought was ludicrous on a micro budget. The cast play the result through straight, with never a distracting wink-wink made to an waiting audience, who at first might expect some recognition of such a personal joke. Du-Ug's continuous threats of "you will die in agony!!" to all who annoy him; the weird vocal play between the two aliens and their jump suit uniforms; the arrival of the much feared Croker, always shouting "I am the Mighty Croker!!" but unable to understand how feeble he really is, in the fast food restaurant ("we've got another one" says the bored til girl); the Lynchian mono-browed women, the balloon flying device, the My-ik's obsession with Smirnoff Ice; it all adds up to a package which is by no means terrible IMHO, if not side splitting, but quotably crackpot enough in a Saturday NIGHT LIVE sort of way to warrant seeking out as a real oddity.
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