The Shaft (2001)
1/10
Wow... uh, where to begin...
7 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Just for kicks, let's pretend you're a disgraced military scientist. You want to create "bio-machines" that incorporate mechanical devices with human intelligence. However, your first attempts were always kind of hard to control and turned out a little, well, homicidal. So the military fired you... but of course you want to continue your research. Well why not continue your dangerous research on an elevator in a busy, New York skyscraper that's open to the public? Seems like a good plan. What could possibly go wrong?

That's the plot of this one. The elevator kills people because it is partially powered by human brain cells and is apparently evil for no good reason. Yep. Sound scary? Sound at all plausible? Didn't think so.

This might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The shocking thing is that Naomi Watts shows up as a newspaper reporter trying to get the scoop on the "killer elevator". What on earth is a real star doing in this thing? I realize it was earlier in her career, but one would think her standards were better than this. Did she read the script before taking the job? Ron Perlman shows up as well; maybe he failed to check out the script too.

The dialogue is so bad it's hard to even laugh at it. The acting is hard to stomach. This movie just goes to show that a bad script and bad direction can make any actor look terrible. James Marshall is particularly laughable as the leading man. He looks like a high school drama student trying to remember his lines for the big play.

The premise is so strange. Of all the things to experiment on, why would the scientist choose an elevator? Do we really need a super-intelligent elevator? With such a bad premise, one can certainly imagine how the half-baked plot plays out.

It's hard to think of one good thing about this movie. It did make me laugh occasionally with its overall amateurish look and terrible dialogue. However, it's not a fun, campy B-movie. Down (aka The Shaft) is just plain boring, formulaic and doesn't make much sense.
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