Ozzy2000 Review of December Boys

December Boys (2007)

Really stupid film and as usual a waste of Australian taxes.

[1/10 · 6 May 2008]

Set in the early sixties in an outback Christian orphanage four orphans are seen uncharacteristically "mooning" from a window. It quickly moves from the sublime to the ridiculous when the orphans are smoking after lights out. The head nun tells four orphans they are going on beach holiday due to a donation and you wonder why the rest of the orphans miss out. On the way to the beach holiday the children are heard to say "Let's cross swords" as they cross their urinating streams by a roadside break and I realize the scriptwriter has little conception of how Australian boys talk and behave. We then see the boys at a circus where they see 1980's BMX motor bikes in "daredevil" stunts but it's the sixties and you would have to conclude the director is an idiot. The film becomes a narrative of one of the boys wearing glasses and they arrive at the beach begin an unsupervised frolicking escapade. He the sees a black horse and it leads them to the beach where a topless girl emerges from the water and introduces herself in a Mexican accent. You then realize she is what appears to be a French family running the supposed to a beach resort. Daniel Radcliffe plays Maps and appears much taller and older than the other boys and is withdrawn .A Man appears on a Triumph motorcycle looking like his from the eighties. He the take the bespectacled boy for a dangerous stunt ride on his shoulders whilst riding his motor bike on sand. During this symbolised coming of age film we hear Australian rock hits from the seventies. Its further evidence that Australians can't make films and doesn't make any sense the dialogue is ridiculous. The other boys are drinking by now we see the horse with a fish in its Radcliffe's character is already smoking and probably already having sex with the blond Lucy. We see a horse with a fish in its mouth and see a silly adoption story. It only get worse from that point and is a waste of Australian taxpayers money. Acting woeful , Minus five stars.